Dumbfounded Dater

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Hi Tamar,

I am an attractive, divorced woman and I get a lot of emails on JDate. I only answer the guys that I am interested in, but what drives me crazy is that when I answer them, they don’t answer me back! Why would they email me to begin with?! It just doesn’t make sense to me! Do you have any idea why?

-Dumbfounded Dater

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Hi Dumbfounded Dater,

Ahhhh the mysteries of dating. There’s never a good explanation nor is there ever one single answer as each person has their reason for not responding, just as you most likely don’t respond to the guys whom you are not interested in (and those men are left wondering why).

The reasons I’ve heard are quite varied: they heard back from someone else before you and started dating, they didn’t like your response, they had emailed all the women who fit their preferences and only narrowed it down after receiving responses, they decided to take a break from JDate, and finally, the kicker — they’re just not that into you. I know that last one sucks because you’re getting so many emails with no results. The only comfort I can give you is that everyone has the same experience at some point. You are not alone. Whether you meet guys at a bar, through friends or on JDate they will ask for your number and not call or call once and then not call again or will text (ick) and then not follow-up. All singles have gone through this.

My suggestion would be this: email me some of your messages with your responses so I can decipher if the guys weren’t being genuine in their initial emails or if your responses were turning them off for some reason. Provide me with your profile name as well and I can take a look at your profile and photos and give you my feedback.

-Tamar


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