Extreme Profile Makeover — “Alla”

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Get an Extreme Profile Makeover

Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Alla.”

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Hi Tamar,

I would appreciate if you could take a look at my profile. I find that guys I think should be interested (those with a similar education, age, etc.) simply look at my profile and move on without contacting me. I am also finding a few slightly creepy guys or much younger guys are starting to email me! I have been on JDate for many years with mixed success, but seem to be having less luck connecting now than ever before. I noticed about 50% of men don’t seem to actually read my profile. You will likely suggest more pictures, and all of my pictures show me in huge sunglasses. Is it ok to get some professional shots, or is that trying too hard? Thanks for any advice!

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Hi Alla,

Yes, I think professional photos are okay as long as there are candid ones mixed in too. More on that under the PHOTOS headline.

PROFILE NAME
As you probably know I’m not a huge fan of a name or word with a bunch of letters and numbers after it. I prefer that you be a bit more original and if you want to use your first name then try to create some fun and meaningful combo of letters and/or words. So instead of, say, Tamar1B286, I would put Tamar1980 (for my birth year) or TamarSOCAL (for where I live).

PHOTOS
You’re right- you need more photos, more recent photos and more non-sunglass-wearing photos. Keep these, but add some professional ones as well as some other candid ones taken this year. As long as the professional pics don’t show you wearing the same clothes in every frame with the same background then it will be fine. Be relaxed and not too posed.

IN MY OWN WORDS
Nothing glaring stands out to me but something I noticed in another recent EPM which I didn’t like is calling your current city your home “at the moment.” My issue with it, is why would someone want to date you if you imply that you want to or could or would move? If you are looking for your beshert in your curent city then I hope that either you’d be willing to settle down there or you’d make sure the other person is willing and able to move with you as needed. Better to just explain, as you do, why you have moved so much and why you are now in your current city and leave it at that. I really like everything else you have to say as well as the way you say it.

DETAILS
You answered where you grew up in your paragraph so go ahead and answer at least where you were born or where you spent the majority of your childhood. I’d narrow down what you’re looking for because selecting every option is not the best option. If you have a paid JDate account then you’re more than likely not looking for a friend or an activity partner.

I think with adding and enhancing your photos then you will see a lot more activity that you’re hoping for. You’re an attractive doctor in a major Texas city, so although there are less Jews in general there you should still have no problem getting more attention once you take more pictures to better represent yourself.


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