Archive for April, 2013

Extreme Profile Makeover — “Robin”

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Robin.”

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Hi Tamar,

Could you please view my profile and critique it? I know I need a new username, but have not been satisfied with any yet. I do not want to be too cutesy. Should it be random or more personal?

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Hi Robin,

PROFILE NAME
I see that you added a new username but I’m confused that you used a name that’s neither your first nor last name (that I’m aware of). You’re a hot, smart mom so try and create a name which reflects that. Even if you do use your first name, adding a bunch of random numbers to the end is not gonna cut it. There’s the obvious “RockinRobin” or, if you want to use Lawren(ce?) then there’s plenty of alliteration with the letter L, including the work “love” which you can play with.

PHOTOS
Your photos are quite nice. They show your youthfulness, your fun side and your body shape. I don’t love the last photo of you pointing at a photo, it’s definitely the weakest photo in the bunch. And the one in the blue dress is stunning but you look older there than you do in all the other photos. You don’t need to delete, but I would move it to the end and then add another photo or two.

IN MY OWN WORDS
I always tell people not to write things in their paragraphs which will have to be updated. Like “Daniel” who wrote about his newborn nephew — well, that little baby is going to be a toddler soon enough and Daniel will have to update his profile, rather he should have put just “my new nephew.” Or “Michael” who talks about being in the real estate industry 10 years — next year will be 11 years and so on, rather he should say he’s been in real estate “since 2003″ or “since graduating college in 2003″ and so on. What I’m getting to is that for your daughters, you should just say “teenage daughters” or “young daughters” or something to that effect. Same goes for referencing anything pop culture, such as this year’s Oscar contenders. It’s okay to say that, simply reword it to say “all of 2012′s Oscar contenders.” Of course, I hope JDate helps you find your Beshert before next year’s Oscars, but just in case not…

You list your activities which are all sporty but then make a comment about “believe it or not” referencing your love of sports. If you were being witty, I unfortunately didn’t get it. If you were being serious, then why wouldn’t a person believe it when you have so many active hobbies?

DETAILS
I think you answered all of the questions in this category pretty well aside from your IDEAL MATCH’s education. As someone with a law degree, I’m sure you prefer a man who has some higher level of education. Also, I would possibly venture a year or two older in your maximum age range. I know you are very youthful and active, but so are many 70-year-olds. Also, answer “What I Do” under BACKGROUND as many people have law degrees and work in the legal field but without specifying it appears that you’re being purposefully vague.

You have a solid profile and I think you’re on your way. Your age will throw people off since you both look youthful and have teenage daughters, so I’m glad you selected a younger than expected age range minimum. I’m also glad you’re a good writer whose profile seems to reflect your personality well as an upbeat lady!


Love At First JDate: How To Break Up With Someone

by JenG under Relationships

After going out on a first date with a guy, that mid-devouring a plate of nachos, I realized there was absolutely no future with, I was overwhelmingly surprised to get a voicemail from him just two days later. Instead of asking me out on another date, he told me that unfortunately he doesn’t see this going any further and would love to remain friends. Though we didn’t click relationship wise, I admired his courage, his honesty and his class for picking up the phone and breaking up with me (post a rough first date).

Do: Let someone know as soon as you can that you’re not interested in going out with them. Leading someone on just delays the inevitable. The least you can do is set them free from your charming chains and allow them to go out in the world and cling on to someone else who is better suited to sort through their baggage than you are. If you have the courage, give them a phone call or do it in person—It’s a difficult, yet well respected move. If you find yourself shaking in your boots, a simple polite text will suffice—and give them bragging rights of calling you a coward for a few weeks to come.

Don’t: Post it on their Facebook wall, tweet it to them in 140 characters, snap a photo of you smooching someone else and tag them on Instagram. Don’t ignore their calls and messages. Be a champ and pull the Band Aid keeping the relationship together off.

Read more from Jen Glantz, here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

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First Date Hook-Ups

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

A recent story about a one night stand which spilled into Boston’s recent citywide lockdown and prevented an early morning walk of shame made me think about hooking up on the first date. After you’ve taken the time (and money) to sign up for JDate and complete your profile, then connect with someone and plan a first date, you have to decide what to do when you hit it off so much that you kinda, well, wanna hook-up. Should you?

It’s quite the predicament when you have awesome chemistry but are just on the first date and want to have a second date but, on one hand, are not sure if hooking up will forfeit your chances for a second date or, on the other hand, if not hooking up will forfeit your chances for a second date. There’s no right answer.

But there are signs to look for to make sure that the chemistry isn’t faked by your date just to hook-up: is your date agreeing with everything you say and has he been very affectionate from the beginning of the date even before you really knew how you felt? If your date is offering lots of compliments and yet still making you feel as though if you don’t hook up with him (or her, girls got game too!) then you won’t get a second date? If you are ever made to feel like a second date hinges upon a hook-up then that’s your sign to bail.

If the date feels very genuine then go ahead and follow your instincts but I strongly advise to keep the hook-up PG-13 lest you end up coming across as someone lesser than who you’ve said you are. Is a make-out session warranted when you really like someone? Sure. But keep your clothes on and respect your date by leaving their clothes on.

Everyone is going to get burned at some point by this predicament. If you choose not to hook-up because you like the person so much that you don’t want to ruin it that you therefore send the wrong signals. Or you hook-up thinking it’s going to lead to a second date and never hear from the prospect again. Or hooking up and letting it go too far that you end up being a one night stand. These are unfortunate parts of dating, but don’t take it personally just learn from it and try to read the signs next time so you can better trust your instincts.


Extreme Profile Makeover — “Naomi”

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Naomi.”

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Hi Tamar!

I just renewed my membership and am really hoping for success this time around. I started to update my profile and think I could use some help. Any suggestions on what’s working/not working at the moment? My profile name is a combination of my first and middle name, but I’m not locked down – should I consider something else? Also, what are your thoughts on my ‘own words?’ I’ll take any tips to help mold my profile into one that will attract some genuine attention.

Many thanks!

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Hi Naomi,

PROFILE NAME
Your profile name isn’t bad but it’s not as awesome as you are. There’s no way one would know that it’s a combination of your first and middle names plus there’s some random digits added at the end so it’s really kinda boring… and you’re not! Try something more like this: GetToKnowNaomi, DontSayNoToNaomi, or NaomiInNewEngland. Spunk it up a little bit!

PHOTOS
Love your photos! There are plenty to choose from and you exude confidence and consistency in each one. I would reorder them though and make it the following: keep the first there as your main photo, then make the last one of you dancing second, make the fourth one of your super close-up third, the full length in the dress should go fourth, sitting in the cool chair fifth, the orange top sixth and the one with the wine bottle last. That one is a cute picture but I don’t think it’s a great idea to have alcohol in a picture so close to the front.

IN MY OWN WORDS
I really like your “ABOUT ME” — I truly feel like I know your personality so I want to applaud you for one of the more well-written essays I’ve ever read. Therefore, I’m going to be nit-picky. Add a period after the word “dream” in the first line. Perhaps eliminate segments here and there which are repeated later in your other answers in order to make the essay a bit less lengthy. Next, fix the grammar in the beginning of your answer to “ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS I TYPICALLY…”

DETAILS
Answer the questions about your IDEAL MATCH wanting kids, as that is an important question. Extend your age range a few years. Since you’re almost 30 you should start creeping past the mid-30s range and into the late-30s range.

I’m glad you decided to give JDate another chance as I think you will do quite well here this time around. Welcome back! Not sure how long you’re going to last though… but for only the best reasons!


Extreme Profile Makeover — “Simon”

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Simon.”

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Dear Tamar, 

I’ve been a JDate member for about 3 years now, made numerous changes to my profile, but nothing seems to happen.

Could you please take a look at my profile and tell me what I’m doing wrong? I have absolutely no clue. :(  

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Hi Simon,

PROFILE NAME
Your profile name is great — simple and straight to the point. Using your first name and pairing it with your birth year is a very easy way to create a unique profile name.

PHOTOS
Soooo…. your photos. They are so different from one to the next that I haven’t the faintest idea what you truly look like. The first one, a close-up, is sweet and the third one is great because it’s a full body shot and shows your height. I don’t know the timing of between the first and third and which is more recent but the third one makes you seem more slender and fit than any of the others. If that’s how you currently look then you need to immediately eliminate the second photo. You’re a big guy and that’s great — it’s hard to find a tall Jew! But the way you’re positioned in the second photo makes you look heavy. Now, my problem is that your face and hair look different from the first to the third photo which is why you need at the very least 2 more photos to show that your hair can be any length at any time in between haircuts. Yes, that sounds obvious, but people are making flash decisions and you don’t want anyone to question the age of your photos or the consistency of your look. Since your first and third photos are now the only two photos and both are posed, I would recommend you ask friends or family to start taking candid photos while engaged in a hobby or hanging out.

IN MY OWN WORDS
“ABOUT ME” is far longer than I prefer. You tend to be repetitive in places so I suggest reading it again and deleting any sentences which basically say the same thing you already said. I understand using different words to help get a point across, but “treating a woman right” can only be said so many times before it actually starts to come across as disingenuous. I love that you talk about the fact that you love life and mention some of the things you like to do. Specifically, I would delete the last line of the second paragraph as well as the third paragraph. Less is more in this case.

“MY LIFE AND AMBITIONS” should be a bit more detailed in the fact that you are still studying. So perhaps add: “My goal is to graduate with a degree in … and then find a well-paying job in a career path I am passionate about all the while having a loving woman and family by my side.” This way, finding a job doesn’t sound like you’re unemployed but rather still in school, which is the truth.

I’ll be very blunt with you, “MY IDEAL RELATIONSHIP” is cheesy. I know that you are a romantic guy and that you are just being yourself and trying to express your sweet side, but it’s just not coming across the way you might think in this answer. You’ve already been very clear about how you respect women and treat them as such. You need to find a way to explain yourself in a less expected way. Here’s an idea: “My perfect relationship  is one in which we laugh a lot and, when we fight (because all couples fight at some point), we go back to laughing as soon as possible. I’m an affectionate guy and want a woman who shares that characteristic and whose hand I’ll still be holding when we’re old and wrinkled.” See how that got your statement across in a more genuine way?

DETAILS
I would delete the following: your weight (being honest in your “body style” is enough of an answer) and annual income (you are in college and say so, that’s plenty explanation as to the fact that you probably have an income lower than that of a typical person with a college degree working a full-time job). I would edit the following: age range should only be a minimum of 21 since you are in your mid-twenties and you should tighten the reigns on other items in “IDEAL MATCH” as it seems as though you selected everything under marital status/religion/education/smoking/drinking. I know you want to see who is out there and to spread as wide a net as possible, but are you honestly ready to marry a widowed, Hassidic, smoker who frequently drinks and only has an elementary level education? Doubtful.

Finally, double check your paragraphs as I saw a few typos here and there (a misuse of a semi-colon under “I’M LOOKING FOR…” and a lack of end-quotes under “YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY MESSAGE ME IF YOU…” both of which are quite distracting. Other than that, I think with the changes you will see things start to happen!


Hollywood Yenta Roundup: Neil Diamond, Al Michaels and Jamie-Lynn Sigler…

by JDateAdministrator under Entertainment,Judaism,News

1. Neil Diamond Sings for Boston

Neil Diamond wanted to do his part to help after the tragedy in Boston over the past week, so the Jewish singer expressed his support through a song at the Boston Red Sox game Saturday night.

Diamond lifted the spirits of Boston residents with a surprise performance of “Sweet Caroline,” the team’s unofficial anthem. Diamond hoped to bring a bright moment to the city’s residents who have been struggling with tragedy after the Boston Marathon bombings one week ago today.

 

2. Al Michaels Arrested for Alleged DUI

Sportscaster Al Michaels was arrested on suspicion of DUI Friday night, according to Santa Monica police.

The Jewish play-by-play announcer for NBC’s Sunday Night Football was allegedly just over the legal limit and booked for DUI .08 or greater. He was ordered to appear in court on June 26.

Unfortunately, Al Michaels wasn’t the only celeb arrested on suspicion of DUI this weekend. Both 3 Doors Down bassist Todd Harrell and CAA agent (and Reese Witherspoon’s husband) Jim Toth were also arrested in two separate DUI incidents. Witherspoon was with Toth when he was arrested; the actress was briefly jailed as well for disorderly conduct.

 

3. Jamie-Lynn Sigler is One Hot Mama

Jamie-Lynn Sigler is making the baby bump one of the hottest accessories in Hollywood. The Jewish actress showed up at the “What a Pair!” benefit concert in Santa Monica last week wearing a sexy sequined Pamella Roland gown with sheer sleeves and a plunging neckline.

Sigler is having a son with her fiancé, baseball player Cutter Dykstra. The 31-year-old actress Tweeted a thanks to all of her fans who sent congratulatory messages when she first announced the baby news, saying, “Thank you to everyone for all the sweet messages. We are so excited to be able to share the news of this incredible blessing. :) !”


Extreme Profile Makeover — “Steve”

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Steve.”

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Hi Steve,

PROFILE NAME
Alright, alright, your profile name (ie. your name with a little added attitude) is smart and yes, a little cocky in a funny way. Women do like confidence and your profile name exudes that confidence by exposing your humorous side. Continue the funnies in your paragraphs as the initial thrill of your profile name kind of dissipates as one reads your words.

PHOTOS
Great photos! Shows you’re well-rounded, well-travelled, active and fun. Only possible addition I would suggest is one with grandparents or nieces and nephews to also show your family side.

IN MY OWN WORDS
To continue what I was saying above, your profile name sets a standard of expected attitude — that being fun and witty — and I strongly suggest continuing that style throughout your paragraphs. You do so in MY PERFECT FIRST DATE and THE THINGS I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT but ABOUT ME needs some of that humor too. You mention many exotic locales in THE COOLEST PLACES I’VE VISITED but you also call yourself “down-to-earth” in ABOUT ME so therefore you need to explain more about why traveling is important to you or how you’ve managed to visit such awesome places so women can connect to you better. Also, talk about your family and where you grew up and how you got to where you live now. Prospective dates need to feel a kinship with you.

DETAILS
A few notes here: answer the SMOKING question — people care if you’re a smoker or not — and adjust your AGE RANGE from 20-30 to 21-33 — a 20-year-old, although 10 years younger than you which is my normal preferred range is not appropriate for a 30-year-old, she can’t even go to a bar with you! I really prefer 23-33 for you, but a wider age range is better than a wrong one. Because of all the traveling you’ve done and the established career you have, I believe you would connect to a woman a few years older than you.

Finally, I know residents in Toronto and possibly even in Ontario will know where you live and where you grew up, but you may want to try a bit broader and actually put Toronto as where you live and then be more specific in ABOUT ME, as that will attract more women and then allow you to pare down your preferences from there.

 


Love At First JDate: Two Drinks Maximum

by JenG under Relationships

The first blind date I ever went on also happened to be the shortest date I ever went on. I was greeted by a guy in a twisted baseball cap, tripping over his own feet and stumbling over words to say hello to me as he came to meet me completely intoxicated. He was so wasted that after 15 minutes of sitting across from him clogging my nose from inhaling the awful smell of whiskey on his breath, he passed out on the table. He full on took a little nap while I paid the check, for my water and his lemon drop shot, and suck asylum in a nearby ice cream store.

Thanks to this debacle, I established a two drink maximum rule I like to stick to when it comes to first dates.

Do: Limit yourself. Even if you adore drinking and believe that you have quite the bottomless tolerance, stick to a two drink maximum. That way you will ensure that your words are not being sloshed together and you can still have meaningful conversations that you will remember in the morning.

Don’t: You may think that double fisting a few beers or throwing down some shots before a first date may help alleviate tension or those nervous shakes you’re beginning to get, but showing up all topsy turvey to meet someone will be an instant turn off and will automatically make them lose respect and interest for you. If you’re going to have a drink before, also have a breath mint. No one wants to hug someone hello who smells like tequila.

Read more of Jen Glantz, here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

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Succulents

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Spring is here (finally!) and while the flowers are abloomin’, people are asufferin’ from allergies. Alas, this post has nothing to do with spring succulents, but rather with the other succulent — your pucker (not your pecker, get your head out of the gutter!) — that is, your lips. Lips are important but it’s not how thick or thin they are but how moisturized they are. So I guess this does tie back in to allergies after all as most people with a stuffy nose or blocked sinuses right now have dry lips as well.

No one wants to kiss dry lips. You could have pencil-line thin, barely-there lips or you could have Lisa Rinna plump and juicy lips, but if they are dry and cracked and you have that yucky white film building up in the corners of your lips, then no one is going to want to kiss you.

Carry chapstick with you at all times, particularly on the first few dates. Ladies — I strongly advise that you find a tinted chapstick or something non-sticky to put on your lips. Wet lips draw a man to your lips and almost compel him to kiss you. Men —  I don’t care if it’s strawberry flavored, make sure you moisturize your lips. Even if your lips don’t feel dry you should roll on a layer in an undercover way prior to puckering up.


Extreme Profile Makeover — “Robbie”

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Robbie.”

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Hi Robbie,

PROFILE NAME
I know your initials are in there, but I’m not quite sure what else you’re trying to say with the rest of the profile name. Sayings and acronyms only work if everyone is in on the joke. I know you have a sense of humor, so definitely find a way to use it in your profile name but only if everyone will get it.

PHOTOS
Great, consistent photos. Love the fun Mets picture and I’m leaning towards you making it your profile photo as it shows your personality. You’ve done a great job with close-ups, (almost) full length, smiling and serious photos. I would add another photo or two with something funny happening or doing an activity to round out the collection.

IN MY OWN WORDS
Pretty good answers here. So far. You talk about your humor and your love of movies but there’s a lot more to learn about you which you should add to the ABOUT ME section. Where are you from? What kind of childhood did you have? Parents/siblings/nieces & nephews? Where did you go to college? These are a few nuggets of information which give some insight into your background without revealing too much details that should otherwise be left to correspondence and first date conversation.

I would recommend answering the rest of the questions (What I Learned from Past Relationships, My Perfect First Date, A Brief History of My Life — which is where the info I mentioned above belongs).

DETAILS
Everything here looks good except for the few “not answered yet” questions, particularly AGE RANGE  and HAS/WANTS KIDS. Those are important questions to answer. You’re on the younger side being in your mid-twenties and that makes the age range narrower than it would be in your thirties and forties. I doubt you want someone who isn’t old enough to drink, so I think 22 should be your minimum and 28 should be your maximum right now. It’s narrower than I typically like, but it’s appropriate until you move into your late 20s (if you’re still single then). Finally, you state that you want kids so it makes sense to select “yes” when asked if you want to meet a woman who wants kids. Unless you feel strongly about a woman having children right now, then it’s okay to leave that blank but it’s even better to select “doesn’t matter” so that you don’t have blank spaces.