Archive for May, 2013

Attitude is Everything

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Being on JDate is not enough. Your attitude about being on JDate needs to be in line as well. If you have a JDate profile which wreaks of someone who thinks they’re too good for JDate or if you go on dates and talk badly about JDate then you aren’t doing yourself any favors. You are on JDate because you’re Jewish and single and want to find your beshert. And guess what? So are the people you are meeting on JDate and chances are the people you are meeting in person are also on JDate. Having a negative attitude about doing something everyone else is doing — whether you felt “forced” to or not — is going to come through your words whether on paper or spoken. Use the JDate statistics to get excited about the very real possibility that you can meet your beshert here and search more than 500,000 members at any given time; read the hundreds of success stories to pump you up and then reread your profile again to make sure it shows your excitement and hope.


3 Ways to Tell if You’re Truly Compatible

by Tripp under Date Night,JDate,Relationships

I’ve seen a lot of relationships end due to incompatibility. Let’s admit it, a lot of those online “tests” and horoscopes don’t give us the real answers. Through much conversation and research, there are three ways to tell if you’ll be compatible with your new date. It’s important to know right away… or your relationship could end in a disastrous break up.

1) Sense of Humor

If you two don’t have the same sense of humor, you can nearly guarantee the relationship is doomed. Connecting with each other on a deep level has to do with how you both perceive the world and it’s craziness. Do you laugh at the same jokes? Do you make each other laugh? Or maybe you are both serious and have no sense of humor. That’s good too! As long as both of you are the same level, then it will be a much smoother life together.

2) Taste in Music

Of course, I could have said anything here: movies, food etc. But, music says a lot about a person. Music defines our culture and our taste. If you two have different tastes  in music then it may be difficult to enjoy the many fleeting moments of life such as car rides, concerts or turning on the mp3 player at home. Be sure you look out for their taste in music and see how similar it is.

3) Your Drive

No, not the model of your car. When I say “drive” I mean for your passion and purpose for life. This is a big one because it can tell the future of your relationship. Do you both like to relax in the same way? Are you both hard working entrepreneurs? Is one lazier than the other? These are just a few of the things you need to look for in regards to compatibility. It may not be as important when you start to date, but as things get more comfortable each person will fall into their own ways. Be sure to know if your significant other has the same passions and zest for life as you do.

If you meet someone and you connect on all three of these levels, you can be sure your compatibility rate is very high. Make sure to look out for these details listed above on your next first date. That way you can get a good read on your future together.


Writing Wrong

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Don’t let your ego get the best of you. You may think you have such a great attitude but if you’re turning off prospects then you may be coming across differently than you think. Humble yourself and look at your profile again and your way of communicating to see where you’re being misrepresented. Are you trying to show your confidence and instead coming across as cocky? Are you trying to show how smart you are or how popular you are or how funny you are or how successful you are by exaggerating those attributes? Then you’re probably coming off as overeager or fake or pretentious. Be yourself. If you have to think too much about what you’re writing in your profile then you should probably delete and start over. Once you meet your JDates you’ll be able to let them see for themselves how amazing you are.

I know “be yourself” sounds so cliche, but trying too hard is worse. There is a way to let people know who you are with words on paper (or rather, on screen) without having to actually say “I’m really funny” or “I’m really successful.” Write your In My Own Words in a witty way or discuss how motivated and ambitious you’ve been your entire life.


Attracting the Kind of Man I Want

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I am a 59-year-old woman who is in great shape — as well as beautiful, inside and out. I am told I look about 45 years old. I want a successful man who is healthy in body and mind and really wants his life partner. I want someone either a little younger or just a little older than me. How can I meet the kind of man I want? What’s holding me back? Maybe it is my profile?

__________________________________________________________________

It’s tough to look so good when you are in the middle of your life, huh? I know many 50-60 year olds who are in a similar predicament whose age gets in the way of finding someone who is on their level. At 59-years-young you should list your age range on your JDate profile as 50-65 years old. You should make sure your photos back-up your claim of being in great shape and beautiful on the outside and make sure your “In My Own Words” paragraphs show the beautiful on the inside part. You will also have luck meeting someone doing the activities which keep you in such great shape, keep your Magen David necklace on to send a clear message of who you are and what you want. Make sure you let friends know that you are looking and since they know you and therefore know who would make a good match for you. And to answer your question, nothing is holding you back! You just happen to look awesome for your age! Don’t see it as a setback because your attitude needs to match your appearance.

 


Love At First JDate: Friends With Opinions

by JenG under Relationships

When I find someone who makes my heart feel like it’s pumping out an endless fountain of chocolate fondue, the next thing I am eager to do is introduce that person to my friends—the people in my life who keep me afloat and whose opinions matter more to me sometimes than my own flesh and blood. But it can be overwhelming and even if you beg your friends to be on their best behavior, they will slip in a comment to a guy like “Just so you know, you break her heart, I’ll break your face.”

  • Do: Ease them in slowly. Have the new man in your life meet your pals in small groups, for a small amount of time. Have them “stop by” or meet them for one drink. Something casual and that incorporates just a bit of small talk. You don’t want to bring him out with you to a girls’ dinner or a friend’s Sex and the City Birthday bash—at least not for the first time.
  • Don’t: Bombard the new lad you’re dating with a situation where there’s a tremendous amount of your friends circling him spitting out a fireball round of questions or engaging in conversation and making him feel left out. Put yourself in his shoes and understand how scary it would be for you to be introduced to his “Bro” world if a bunch of guys were spilling beers on your toes and playing a game of 20-questions.

Like most awkward and uncomfortable situations in dating, it’s best to ease into having your new “boyfriend” become friends with your “girlfriends”.

Read more Jen Glantz here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com


Who’s Viewed You?

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Every single one of you is guilty, admit it. As soon as you log in to your JDate account the first thing you do is click on the “Who’s Viewed You?” link and see who has checked out your profile since the last time you logged in. Sometimes you’re excited because the prospect has viewed you again and there’s mutual interest, sometimes you’re excited to see some new faces and other times you get supremely bummed because neither of the above happened.

Then of course you go to the “Recently Viewed” link to see if the prospects you viewed have logged in since then and if they have, why didn’t they view you back? And if they haven’t logged in yet then at least there’s still a morsel of hope!

This is why it’s imperative that you keep your profile set to viewable because if you’ve hidden your profile — even if you email prospects — then you are exponentially lowering your odds at meeting someone. So unless you’re in the midst of doing a profile makeover or are dating someone and waiting to see how serious it gets then there’s no reason to hide your profile.


Set-up on JDate

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

I have a few friends who are on JDate but use it in an unorthodox way. When they see prospects that aren’t for them but would be perfect for their friend, they write the person and send them that friend’s screen name with the reason why they think they would make a great match. Sometimes the new prospects would have already received emails from JDate that they are a match, sometimes not, but it’s different when it comes from someone’s friend confirming JDate’s algorithm. So if you see someone on JDate who may not be for you but might be perfect for your friend, then make the match. And if your friend isn’t on JDate, then ask permission and then still make the match. Then you get credit for a shidduch (it takes 3 to get to heaven!) and so does JDate!

Tags: ,

3 Important Tips to Remember Before the First Date

by Tripp under Online Dating,Single Life

So you’ve been messaging back and forth with that cute punum the past week and you finally set up a date. Maybe you even had a phone call beforehand and got to know each other. The date is set and the place is picked. To help ensure you make it a successful date, I’ve made a list of three essential steps to take:

1) Relax

Don’t go into this thinking he/she will be your future husband or wife. Take it slow. A lot of people get super excited about dates and think “this may be ‘The One.’” If you go into a date with that mindset, then you will set yourself up to lose. Instead, think about this date as another experience you get to have with an interesting person. Heck, you already qualified them for what you’re looking for. Now, enjoy the time together and don’t rush it.

2) Dress The Part

This advice is mostly for the guys here. Dress up! This is a date. Think Friday Night Services. You want to impress your date and look good, right? Put on a decent collared shirt (make sure it fits) and a nice pair of shoes. Women give extra special bonus points to the guys who know how to dress. Girls, I’m sure you got this part handled.

3) Bring the Energy!

Yes, I said to relax, so this might seem a little contradictory. But, dates are about fun! If you aren’t eager to be there, then you will put your date off. Ask them intriguing questions. Tell them your funniest stories (don’t get too crazy). And have fun. When you enjoy the moment, the people around you will enjoy it too. It’s never enough to just show up. Bring your A-game.

Those are the most important tips to having a successful date #1. Follow these three tips and you will be on your way to a successful date #2. That is what you want, isn’t it?

Read more from Tripp here.


Hollywood Yenta Roundup: Angelina Jolie, Barbara Walters and Aly Raisman…

by JDateAdministrator under Entertainment,News

1. Angelina Jolie’s Reaction to Carrying a “Jewish Cancer Gene”

Angelina Jolie announced last week that she underwent a preemptive double mastectomy to reduce her risk of breast cancer. The A-list actress has a family history of cancer and tested positive for genetic flaws in the BRCA1 gene, which indicates an elevated risk for breast and ovarian cancer. The BRCA1 mutation, especially common in Jewish women, puts Jolie at an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and a 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer.

“I have always told [my children] not to worry, but the truth is I carry a ‘faulty’ gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer,” the actress, 37, wrote in last Tuesday’s New York Times.

 

2. Barbara Walters Announces Retirement

After more than five decades, Barbara Walters is hanging up her microphone. The veteran ABC News anchor, who is 83, announced last week she will retire from TV journalism next summer.

“Let me just say I have been on television continuously for over 50 years,” said the Jewish journalist while filming an episode of The View on ABC. “But in the summer of 2014, I plan to retire from appearing on television at all.”

“I do not want to appear on another program or climb another mountain,” Walters told ABC News. “I want instead to sit on a sunny field and admire the very gifted women — and OK, some men too — who will be taking my place.”

 

3. Aly Raisman Dances Her Way Into the Finals on DWTS

Aly Raisman, the gold medal-winning gymnast on the U.S. Women’s Gymnastics Team at the 2012 Summer Olympics, is now going for gold as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars! The 18-year-old Jewish gymnast heads into the show’s finals this week as one of the top contenders!

Raisman secured her spot in this week’s finale by scoring a perfect score at the end of last week’s episode – as did NFL player Jacoby Jones who tied Raisman for first place.

Raisman will compete against Jones, country singer Kellie Pickler, and Disney star Zendaya in an epic dance-off during the Dancing With the Stars finale which airs tonight on ABC!


Annoying Affection

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

At some point in your dating career, you will end up with someone who is annoyingly affectionate. Usually you already have an inkling that this person isn’t “The One” — and so everything they do is annoying, but whether it’s a first date or a one-year anniversary, there are people out there who don’t realize their type of affection is anything but loving.

It’s those people who constantly touch you — regardless of if you’re eating, sleeping, in the midst of a fight, talking, walking, crying, getting ready, cooking, you get the point. Affection is (usually) welcome, as long as its the right amount at the right time. Some people don’t like to be touched when they are doing certain things or feeling a certain way and anyone interested in being with you long-term needs to learn to both read your body language and your moods!