Archive for August, 2013

Q & A — About Me

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

  • “About Me”

I saved the best — and most important — for last. And I did so for a reason. By now you should have many, if not most of the other questions, out of the way. You have therefore eliminated the need to repeat the same answers in your “About Me” paragraph, making this section waaaaaay too long. You can always write “I love traveling… see below for The Coolest Places I’ve Visited,” but you don’t need to write “Contact me if you are interested in learning more” because you hopefully included that line under “You Should Definitely Message Me If…”

Your “About Me” should start with a basic introduction: “Hi, my name is Tamar and I’m a 33-year-old writer currently living in…” Use your first name only, don’t give too much detail regarding your exact job or specific neighborhood (for safety’s sake), and then continue:

“I’ve been told that I’m (fill in the blank)… and I agree that (fill in the blank)… I’m also a very loyal friend. I’m forgiving to a fault and I’m generous with my time and my heart.”

Include a few simple descriptions of your character and then follow with a few simple descriptions of what kind of person you’re looking for: “I’m looking for someone with strong Jewish morals and values, someone who is looking to have FUN being in love and to LAUGH a lot!”

You can give some more interesting details about yourself which aren’t addressed in other parts of the profile but don’t start a laundry list of things or go off on tangents. “About Me” should be about one paragraph (5 sentences), maybe two at most. Leave information to be shared on a first date since you’ve already revealed so much info as it is. Most first date questions have already been answered via the profile questions so if you reveal much more than you’re going into a first date feeling like you know each other more like a third date except you’ve never met! Slow your roll.

Let a trusted friend or family member read through the “About Me” answer to ensure that your personality comes through. If you’re a comedian then your shpiel should be funny just make sure it’s not coming across like you think JDate is a joke. If you’re serious then that should be the tone, just make sure your shpiel isn’t dull and boring.

This shouldn’t be your work bio, nor should it be too boastful. Have fun, but take this assignment seriously because it is.

 


There’s No One Left In This City!

by Aaron under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Relationships

As someone who has been in the same city for the last fifteen years, meeting new people to date can be a little bit like a waiting game. Dallas is a city where a lot of people stay for a long time if they’re from here, but the new faces tend to come and go. When a new person comes into our “Young Adult Jewish Community,” it’s like a feeding frenzy. We go from calm, collected adults to hungry, overeager singles on the hunt for the next potential spouse.

I was extremely guilty of this for a while, but in the last year I’ve tried to fix my problem of familiar faces: I’ve started looking outside my city. Through the miracle of Skype, and a mother who was always meant to work as a private investigator (she has a PhD in late-night Googling), I have avoided being tricked by people into strange situations. I’ve also met some amazing people in some amazing places. Starting in April of this year, I widened my search parameters largely to include “relocation,” and occasionally to just people who are online anywhere in the U.S.

Though I worried (and almost secretly hoped, for the sake of a great story) that my first long-distance match would actually be a crazy cat lady, I was in safe hands after a short drive to Little Rock, Arkansas on July 4th. In fact, my four-day-long and three-state-wide first date weekend was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on. Though the relationship didn’t work, it gave me a lot of hope in the possibility of meeting wonderful women outside of Dallas. I even went on a date with a girl I met on JDate while on vacation in New York and have set up Skype dates with other girls in random places.

Is it the most physically-rewarding kind of relationship? Definitely not. But it’s the kind of thing that stops me from excusing my relationship situation by saying, “There’s no one left in this city!” My dating pool suddenly got a whole lot deeper.


Q & A — You Should Definitely Message Me If You…

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

  • “You should definitely message me if you…”

The last question in JDate’s list of essay questions may seem like a throw-away at first, but it can definitely help to encourage other online daters to message you. Answer it… or don’t. But if you do answer it, then SEAL IT WITH A KISS — as in, “keep it simple, stupid!” Here are a few examples to show you what I mean:

  • “…think we would hit it off.”
  • “…see something about me that caught your eye.”
  • “…notice we have a lot in common.”
  • “…like what you see!”
  • “…you’re interested in learning more.”

That’s it. No need for more. Your one-liner can be cute, it can be quirky, it can be serious — just make sure it’s only one line!


Q & A — My Favorite Books, Movies, TV Shows, Music and Food”

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

  • “My Favorite Books, Movies, TV Shows, Music and Food”

Only answer the categories to which you feel passionately about. If you love all kinds of music, but have a few absolute-favorite, can’t-miss TV shows, then skip music and make a list of your boob-tube faves. These answers can be listed in bullet point format:

  • New Girl – This show makes me laugh out loud every time!
  • Breaking Bad – I never miss an episode. I’m seriously addicted!
  • So You Think You Can Dance – Now you know one of my dirty little secrets! Haha.

If you answered food in another question, such as “For Fun I Like To,” then you can skip that bullet point. If you don’t have one favorite movie, but watch every Matt Damon flick, or you don’t have one favorite book, but read everything Tom Clancy writes, then include that!


Love at First JDate: Never Judge a Person By Their Social Media

by JenG under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating

Last week, I wrote about deciphering the right time to get into a Facebook “friendship” relationship with someone you’ve just started dating. And while that’s bound to happen at some point in your courting, it’s also important not to judge someone based on what you find scattered throughout their social media trail. The other day, I was spitting out lines on the phone to my mom about how I didn’t want to go on a first date with a guy because I didn’t think we were a good match. My only justification for this claim was solely based on what I knew about him from social media. Was that a good enough reason to write someone off and skip out on a first date?

  • Do: Practice self-control if you have access to someone’s social media accounts before you’ve met them — and refrain from doing a thorough investigation on them. If you can’t control yourself (which, power to you if you actually can), try to digest the information by reminding yourself this is just a small representation of who they are. Think about what someone might think of you if they read through your 1,000+ tweets before meeting you. It’s worth giving someone an in-person chance.
  • Don’t: Cancel a date because you’ve seen too much on someone’s social media accounts. If you’ve stalked them to the point that you’ve seen photos of their ex-girlfriend or you know what they looked like at their Bar Mitzvah, that’s your fault. Ignore the fact that you just freaked yourself out and go meet them in person. Then, you’ll have the information you need to judge if you’d like to continue seeing them in real life… or just through the internet waves.

Read more of Jen Glantz: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com
or follow her on Twitter: @tthingsilearned


Q & A — On Friday and Saturday Night I Typically …

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

 ”On Friday and Saturday Nights I Typically…”
This question is basically asking whether or not you observe Shabbat. Here are possible answers:
-I like go out with friends or cook dinner all together. I love going dancing but don’t do it often enough. During the day I try to do something active.
-I usually light the candles on Friday night before going out to meet up with friends. Saturday is a day to relax and get some fresh air before heading out for a night on the town!
-I always have Shabbat dinner on Friday nights either with my parents or friends and then spend the rest of the weekend going out to the movies, bars, clubs or a street fair.
-I observe Shabbat and enjoy relaxing on the weekends with family and friends without the distractions of technology.

Mothers, Mensches, and Manliness: The Aaron Stayman Blog

by Aaron under JBloggers,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

About twenty-four hours before being told I was going to be blogging for JDate, I was sitting with my new classmates from business school. They were sitting on their LinkedIn accounts, building networks and uploading resumes. What was I doing? I was sitting on the “currently online” section of JDate and mass viewing profiles.

My name is Aaron Stayman and I am a mass JDater in Dallas, a city without much of a young JDatabase (I wish I could promise that is the worst pun you will see in this column, but I do intend to be a Jewish dad one day). I spend a lot of time on JDate and going out on dates, and even more time thinking about dating. It’s something I enjoy so much, I’ve written and changed friends’ profiles, given Jewish males in my area makeovers, and have referenced books for friends to read to help them get better at the extremely niche game of Jewish online dating.

I’m 23 years old, but like many of you I’m looking to find someone for a serious relationship, even if marriage isn’t in my sights for a little while. One thing I’ve really enjoyed on JDate is long-distance dating. That’s been my niche, and I have plenty of fun stories on that front (especially involving my mother and the lengths she attempted to go to when I went to Arkansas to meet a girl from JDate after Skyping for months, or when she tried to follow me through Central Park on a date during our latest trip to the Big Apple), but those will have to wait until we’ve gotten to know each other a bit better.

The good news for everyone out there, male or female, is that I’m trying to make my time on JDate better every day, as well as everyone else’s time. I have helped guys become cooler versions of themselves — as well as helped them to understand how to bring out the naturally cool people they are. I’ve also made girls laugh and even given tips to female friends about things they can do to improve their dating. I’m no pro, and my advice may even be wrong from time to time (everyone is unique on this site, after all), but I look forward to sharing my random thoughts with you and hope you’ll enjoy the journey we’re about to share together as well!


Q & A — For Fun I Like To …

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“For Fun I Like To…”
This is another question where you can have fun. It’s also a question you can skip if you’ve already used the answers in other places. If your first instinct is to type in “travel,” but you already said that in another area — and you already answered “The Coolest Places I’ve Visited”  — then there’s no need to state it again.
This area is good for taking nuggets from your “About Me” paragraph and placing them here instead in an effort to not only shorten the “About Me” paragraph, but also to highlight your fun side in an area where it won’t get buried.
If you do choose to answer this section, then do so with detail, but without getting too wordy. For example:
  • “Play sports such as beach volleyball (the Olympic women’s teams are my heroes!) or rec softball (league champs 3 years in a row!)”
  • “Eat exotic foods — sushi has become a weekly staple so I’ve taken to experimenting with other foods… the weirder the better!”
  • “Volunteer: I’ve been a Big Bro/Sis with Jewish Family Services for 4 years now and it is so fulfilling!”
And of course the other staples which belong in the answer: “I enjoy spending time with family and friends.”

Hollywood Yenta Roundup: Alex Band, Joan Rivers and Sam Horowitz…

by JDateAdministrator under Entertainment,News

1. Lead Singer of The Calling Abducted

Alex Band, the lead singer of The Calling, was abducted and beaten last weekend while on tour in Michigan. The rocker, whose father is Jewish, tells reporters he was abducted on Sunday morning, beaten and dumped on train tracks while he was walking from his hotel room to a mini-mart around 4am.

Band released a statement to US Weekly saying, he was “left for dead” by his abductors who allegedly beat him with a police baton and pointed a gun at his face while demanding his so-called “Hollywood money.” The beating apparently caused Band to lose a tooth, suffer a mild concussion and required 15 stitches to close a gash in his chin.

“I am grateful to be alive,” Band said in the statement to US Weekly. He added that drugs and alcohol were not involved in the incident, saying: “I take my rehabilitation very seriously. I was near death due to this unbelievable situation and the rumors are categorically false.”

 

2. Joan Rivers Launches New Dating Show

Joan Rivers is single and looking to mingle! After 15 years on the singles scene, the Jewish comedian announced she is finally ready to meet someone new. Rivers will begin the search for her Beshert on a new web series called “Romancing the Joan.”

The web series, which is set to air on She Knows TV, will feature Rivers first selecting from a “man candy” pool of eight eligible bachelors who will then be “paraded around in front of Rivers in an effort to win her heart.” Awww… sounds romantic! “Romancing the Joan” premieres in September.

 

3. Meet Future Jewish Celebrity… Sam Horowitz

If you haven’t heard of Sam Horowitz yet, you will soon enough! Horowitz became a YouTube sensation when his Bar Mitzvah entrance video went viral! You can check out this must-see clip here.

However, the teenaged Bar-Mitzvah-dance sensation isn’t done yet. Horowitz has now taken over New York! The Dallas teen gave a second dazzling performance on Broadway last week that featured back-up dancers and aired live on Good Morning America.

This isn’t Horowitz’s first performance, though – he also filmed his own music video for Carly Rae Jepsen’s hit “Call Me Maybe.” Something tells us we’ll be seeing more of Sam Horowitz in the future…


Q & A — My Life and Ambitions

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“My Life and Ambitions”

If “finding someone to share the rest of my life with” isn’t your first line and isn’t the first line of the prospect’s profile you’re viewing, then there’s a huge red flag! Sure, we all have other ambitions in life but this question is being asked on JDate to attract like-minded people, so it’s best to start with the line above or a variation of that line and then continue on to your other ambitions, such as:

-career (becoming a partner in a reputable law firm, starting my own company, surpassing a million dollars in sales next year)
-hobbies (running a marathon, traveling to new countries, learning how to knit)
-personal (spending more time with my Bubbe as she ages, etc).