Author Archive

Is Online Dating Turning Into Twitter?

by jpompey under Online Dating,Relationships

Is online dating turning more into Twitter than ever before?

These days we can access all of our online dating applications through our mobile devices.   What does this mean?  More and more people are no longer taking the time to sit down and actually write well, thought out emails.  Responses are being sent by women while on the go as if they are Twitter updates or responding to text messages.

With each day that passes, I see more emails coming in that are two sentences or fewer.  Many of them barely acknowledge a lot of the information that was written in the previous response, and are just casual, “Twitter-like” responses.

They still show interest.  They still want to talk.  But the effort is not there and they are coming in more brief than ever.

In the fast paced world we live in, is this the future of the way we communicate.  Simple, shallow, rushed responses.  Are we devolving even more than ever?  Will people eventually no longer sit down and write emails? 

I see this as a strong possibility!

Texting To Build Comfort Part 1

by jpompey under Relationships

Just got a new phone number online?  Haven’t met yet?  Haven’t even talked on the phone yet? Grab that smart phone and start texting! 

These days texting is an essential part of online dating.  It will help you get to know the person you are with for a long period of time.  While you spend days randomly texting here and there, the comfort levels will increase and go way up.

By the time you meet for a first date, comfort levels will be so high that it will not feel awkward or like a blind date at all.  Run your messages right and you may even feel like you have already been dating for a long period of time.

How often should you text?

Don’t overdo it.  Remember, you don’t know each other yet, so you don’t want to come across as creepy or stalkerish.  A random text here or there will get the job done. 

More on what to text in the next entry!

Can We Learn From Steve Jobs Through Dating?

by jpompey under Relationships

With Steve Jobs’ recent passing, we have lost one of the great icons in American history.  As far as I am concerned, no man has ever been a more efficient CEO or built a more prestigous, pristine company in American history.

With that said, perhaps we can take away a few of the qualities that made him so successful and apply them to the online dating world.

1.  Be selective.

Steve Jobs was never afraid to be extremely selective in the way he built his empire.  His strongest ability was the ability to say no and just focus on a few select products and services.  The same should go for you.  You don’t have to meet every woman or guy you talk to online.  Be selective!

2.  Say a lot in a little.

Steve Jobs coined the phrase, “1,000 songs in your pocket” when introducing the IPod®.  This was a genius slogan that said everything in a sweet, compressed phrase.  Apply this to your emails.  Saying a lot while saying a little can go a long way!  Same goes for your profiles.  Learning how to market yourself is a great skill.

When all is said and done, we can learn a lot from the great Steve Jobs in all walks of life.   Never forget the legend who was Steve Jobs and allow his legacy to live on.

10 Reasons I Love Online Dating

by jpompey under JBloggers,Online Dating

Most people who know me often ask, “What is it you love so much about online dating?”  If you are so knowledgeable about the female mind and how to pick up women, why not just do it in person?

Well, here are my answers.  The following are reasons why I will always prefer online dating to any other form of meeting women:

1.  I’m lazy.

2.  What’s better than being able to pick up women while sitting in your pajamas scratching your stomach?

3. I can meet women any time of day or night.

4.  I get to shop for the perfect woman.

5.  Did I mention I’m lazy?

6.  There is less pressure.

7.  I’m sorry, did I mention I was lazy?

There you have it. 7 reasons I love online dating.  Okay technically five. But five good reasons!

Quit Your Slouching Young Man!

by jpompey under Date Night,Online Dating,Single Life

All my life I have been told the same thing over and over.  Stop slouching.  Sit up straight.  Blah blah blah.

As an adult this constant nagging of my mother still scars me.

But one thing is for sure, body language does play a critical role when dating.  And as someone who has suffered from fidgeting and self-diagnosed ADD his whole life, it was an even bigger adjustment for me.  But make no mistake.  Body language is important and will send signals to the opposite sex.

If there is one thing I have learned in life it is that women notice everything.

Here are a few reminders for your first date…

  • Stand tall and walk with your shoulders straight like an alpha male would.
  • Don’t slouch at the dinner table as it will make you appear childish.
  • Make sure you don’t fidget with whatever is in front of you.  This will unintentionally mark you as nervous.
  • Be confident with how you touch your date.  A confident arm around the shoulder or slight touches on the arm, hand, and appropriate areas of the leg will go a long way.
  • Make eye contact.  Eye contact is key to showing you are a confident guy that has no fear of any woman no matter how beautiful.

Seem obvious?  Some of them are.  That doesn’t mean we don’t frequently make these mistakes regardless.  So get into good habits and watch your dating life improve.

Don’t Get Yourself Overwhelmed With Too Many Emails

by jpompey under Online Dating

Normally I just provide online dating advice to men, but this blog entry goes out to the men and women out there.

For women who are online dating, life can start to feel extremely overwhelming, very quickly.  Within days of signing up, most women are likely to have dozens and dozens of messages.  For some, dozens is a grotesque understatement.

And for men who are more advanced at online dating and have thoroughly learned the secrets to attraction, receiving tons of emails will become frequent as well.

The problem lies in the fact that it is extremely tough to keep up.  In fact, you will find yourself talking to so many people at times that it almost feels as if you are not talking to anyone.  All the different faces just become one big blur.

My advice?

Pick one day where you are going to send out all your first emails for the week.  I personally prefer Sunday.  Choose 10 to 12 people.  Out of those, if you are following my advice properly, you should receive between 7 and 10 responses.

Out of those seven, narrow it down to three by the end of the week.

We can’t make time for everyone out there.  Our goal with online dating should NOT be to date as many people as possible, ladies, or hook up with every girl you meet, guys.  Our goal should be to be selective.  And by setting up the right online dating profile, putting up the right pictures, and writing the perfect emails, being selective will be an option for us all.

So don’t overwhelm yourself.  Just narrow it down and stop talking to so many people!

Looks matter. “How good looking we are doesn’t!”

by jpompey under Online Dating,Relationships

Those that are familiar with my work are well aware that I frequently write on the subject of “looks” in regards to online dating.  I frequently am found making the argument that how good looking we are really doesn’t matter when it comes to building attraction with women online.

The other day I received a letter asking for online dating help.  In this letter I was asked the question, “Do looks really not matter?”

This question is not black and white.

Looks do matter.  However, how good looking we are doesn’t matter.

What this means is, women care what we look like, but this does not mean we have to be extremely good looking.  Women care more about our overall appearance, not how aesthetically pleasing our natural looks are.

The truth is, any man can become attractive to a woman with a simple makeover.  The right haircut, the right style, and carrying yourself the right way will boost your looks dramatically.

However, this makes us attractive to women for the opposite reasons than you might expect.  Improving yourself in these ways sends signals that we know how to take care of ourselves, can be taken around her friends, and are socially acceptable.

These qualities are qualities that do build attraction in the female mind and consequently, make them think you are better looking.

Learning the female mind is the key to being successful with online dating.  Lucky for us, there are 10 different ways to attract a woman, all providing evidence that the looks we are born with are not that important.  This makes our lives much easier!

Learn from the best

by jpompey under Online Dating

Many people that struggle with online dating continue to struggle for long periods of time. 

They mainly struggle for one of two reasons.  Either they continue to make the same mistakes over and over again and refuse to seek help, or they are seeking online dating help from the wrong people.

The only way to improve something that is broken is to fix it by learning the correct way to fix the problem.   If you don’t take the time to learn, things will not change. 

However, some people attempt to learn online dating advice, only to find themselves struggling the same as they were before, if not more.

This is because most people who provide online dating advice are writing things that sound good in theory, but either have little real world value, or they are only writing articles because it is their job and they need to fill a deadline.

My recommendation is to learn from the best.  Find people you know that have been highly successful.  Research people who are acclaimed with positive feedback from people whom have used their systems and ideas.

 Learning from the best is the only way to get better.  So weed out all that online dating advice and start making some genuine progress.

Your profiles should tell the story of your life

by jpompey under Online Dating,Relationships

Many people that sign up for online dating ignore just how useful your photo galleries can be. 

The common attitude is, “If I put up some pictures of myself that I look good in, I’ve done my job.”

While this may be effective, many of you are missing a huge opportunity.  Your photo galleries have the ability to do so much more than merely present you in a way that makes you visually appealing.

Photo galleries have the ability to tell the story of your life.  There is only so much you can say in words with your profile.  And not only that, but they are just words.

With your photos you can prove it!  Show off your exciting sides, your fun sides, your serious sides, etc.

Use photos that hit on some of the ten levels of attraction that I write about in my online dating book.

Bottom line:  Don’t blow all the opportunity that photo galleries bring.  Rookie online daters fear them.  Master online pick up artists embrace them and use them to their full advantage.


Enough is enough!

by jpompey under Relationships

The other day I was talking to a guy who went on an amazing date with a woman he met online.  She was beautiful, funny, and perfect all around.

To make a long story short, his date informs him that she is extremely close with her family.

She texts and calls her mom a few times every time they are together.  As time goes on, this goes from a little quirk, to just plain annoying.  It’s one thing being close with family, but to deal with this multiple times every few hours adds up.

And while he does not want to hurt her feelings, he wonders if this should be addressed.  When is enough ENOUGH?!

Is he wrong, or is too much family love a problem?

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