The start of a week with what is most likely amazing weather outside your office window while you’re stuck inside until late afternoon each day is enough to put a damper on anyone’s mood. Try to change the odds in your favor by booking at least one date this week. By having something to look forward to, you will perk up and while the week may feel like it’s draggin at first it will seem to have flown by in retrospect. While you’re at it, book a second date. One during the week and one on the weekend. How?, you ask? Use the Secret Admirer feature to let prospects know you’re interested and Favorite them and send them a Flirt. Men who see these clear hints a woman is interested should write an email. Women who notice a man repeatedly viewing her profile can also send an email. JDate works best when you’re actively using the tools they provide so stop browsing and start clicking!
If you’re dating a single dad this Father’s Day then what can you do to make sure he feels special, solidify your role in his life and in the lives of his child/ren? Try to sneak some special time with his kid/s to plan something special. Ask them what they want to do to make Dad feel like the amazing father he is. Breakfast in bed? Ask their input for a menu and tell Dad to try and sleep in while you guys make a mess in the kitchen. Homemade cards? Try to find time to print pictures on glossy paper that says Happy Father’s Day 2013 and have them color the inside. A gift? Even though you’re not the step-Mom (yet) buy a small gift “from the kid/s” which will be meaningful to him (not socks, underwear, a universal remote control or a car wash). And under no circumstances should you take any credit or try to take the spotlight. He will know and appreciate the effort you put forth, so let the kid/s revel in the glory of their day with Dad.
From The Bachelorette to Ready for Love to any other reality TV love show people are asking “when’s your birthday?” and then trying to see if their signs align. That was cute in Junior High when I had the big fat book Love Signs with post-it notes and scribbles in the margins, but in your 20s, 30s and 40s you shouldn’t even ask such a question unless you truly and genuinely believe in your astrological signs being compatible. Asking such a question, let’s be honest it’s usually from a girl to a guy, only makes the person asking come off as silly and immature sounding because chances are the other person doesn’t even know what their sign is. Once you’re in the relationship long enough you will find out their birthday on your own and if you are compatible signs you can maybe mention it in an off-hand, silly way as another sign that you’re a match!
More statistics from the survey by Market Tools, Inc (who interviewed more than 5,000 singles over the age of 21) had to do with if singles are perceived as date-able when they are impacted by today’s economics. This being the “boomerang” generation (meaning many singles, couples, and families are moving back in with their parents after college, between jobs, or as they are starting new careers) means many 20 and 30-somethings refer to their parents as “roommates,” and may also have accrued debt along the way.
So, do these things still mean you’re date-able? Survey says… “Yes!” (with caveats of course).
- 65% of singles would date someone with debt up to $5,000 — although less so with someone who has high student loan debts to pay off
- 49% of singles would date someone who lived at home with their parents
Overall, singles want to date someone who has ambition. If you live at home and have some debt, but have a clear plan to get your life moving forward, then those things can be overlooked and accepted. If you’re in the process of buying your own home for instance, or if you moved home and have some debt at 32-years-old because you decided to pursue your dreams of going to culinary school after studying and working in another field, than that would be another good reason.
Laziness and irresponsibility is not attractive.
What do singles want? An online survey (taken by Market Tools Inc.) of more than 5,000 singles over the age of 21 said the first thing they judge about their date is… teeth. Why teeth? Teeth are an indication of your overall health.
So, make sure you:
- Floss the night before a date so your gums aren’t still swollen the next day
- Brush your teeth right before a date
- Pop a piece of minty gum in your mouth as you approach your date
- Don’t eat or drink anything on your date which will stain your teeth (ie. red wine) or smoke.
Even if you’re a smoker and your date is okay with that, try to not smoke after brushing your teeth until the date is over. You could have crowded teeth or a bad bite, but as long as your teeth are clean and white — and your gums are pink and healthy — then fret not, you will pass judgment.
Of course, you should floss regularly and brush your teeth twice a day and not smoke at all, but we all know that’s not always going to happen!
A recent survey reveals more women than men want to be single this summer to enjoy their time and have fun without any strings. This means more women want to avoid entering into a relationship right now and prefer poly-dating this summer.
I don’t buy it. I believe people say things like that because it’s what they think people want to hear so they don’t come across as desperate. If Mr. Right came along, none of the women who said they just wanted to party this summer would ever tell him, “No thanks, I’d rather lay on the beach, drink all day and hook up with random strangers. Maybe after Labor Day.”
Overall, poly-dating will give you the attitude of not being overly into anyone because you are busy getting to know multiple suitors, so there’s no need to lie. Enjoy life — with or without a significant other — and don’t rely on a date to determine your fun factor.
Being on JDate is not enough. Your attitude about being on JDate needs to be in line as well. If you have a JDate profile which wreaks of someone who thinks they’re too good for JDate or if you go on dates and talk badly about JDate then you aren’t doing yourself any favors. You are on JDate because you’re Jewish and single and want to find your beshert. And guess what? So are the people you are meeting on JDate and chances are the people you are meeting in person are also on JDate. Having a negative attitude about doing something everyone else is doing — whether you felt “forced” to or not — is going to come through your words whether on paper or spoken. Use the JDate statistics to get excited about the very real possibility that you can meet your beshert here and search more than 500,000 members at any given time; read the hundreds of success stories to pump you up and then reread your profile again to make sure it shows your excitement and hope.
Don’t let your ego get the best of you. You may think you have such a great attitude but if you’re turning off prospects then you may be coming across differently than you think. Humble yourself and look at your profile again and your way of communicating to see where you’re being misrepresented. Are you trying to show your confidence and instead coming across as cocky? Are you trying to show how smart you are or how popular you are or how funny you are or how successful you are by exaggerating those attributes? Then you’re probably coming off as overeager or fake or pretentious. Be yourself. If you have to think too much about what you’re writing in your profile then you should probably delete and start over. Once you meet your JDates you’ll be able to let them see for themselves how amazing you are.
I know “be yourself” sounds so cliche, but trying too hard is worse. There is a way to let people know who you are with words on paper (or rather, on screen) without having to actually say “I’m really funny” or “I’m really successful.” Write your In My Own Words in a witty way or discuss how motivated and ambitious you’ve been your entire life.
I am a 59-year-old woman who is in great shape — as well as beautiful, inside and out. I am told I look about 45 years old. I want a successful man who is healthy in body and mind and really wants his life partner. I want someone either a little younger or just a little older than me. How can I meet the kind of man I want? What’s holding me back? Maybe it is my profile?
It’s tough to look so good when you are in the middle of your life, huh? I know many 50-60 year olds who are in a similar predicament whose age gets in the way of finding someone who is on their level. At 59-years-young you should list your age range on your JDate profile as 50-65 years old. You should make sure your photos back-up your claim of being in great shape and beautiful on the outside and make sure your “In My Own Words” paragraphs show the beautiful on the inside part. You will also have luck meeting someone doing the activities which keep you in such great shape, keep your Magen David necklace on to send a clear message of who you are and what you want. Make sure you let friends know that you are looking and since they know you and therefore know who would make a good match for you. And to answer your question, nothing is holding you back! You just happen to look awesome for your age! Don’t see it as a setback because your attitude needs to match your appearance.
Every single one of you is guilty, admit it. As soon as you log in to your JDate account the first thing you do is click on the “Who’s Viewed You?” link and see who has checked out your profile since the last time you logged in. Sometimes you’re excited because the prospect has viewed you again and there’s mutual interest, sometimes you’re excited to see some new faces and other times you get supremely bummed because neither of the above happened.
Then of course you go to the “Recently Viewed” link to see if the prospects you viewed have logged in since then and if they have, why didn’t they view you back? And if they haven’t logged in yet then at least there’s still a morsel of hope!
This is why it’s imperative that you keep your profile set to viewable because if you’ve hidden your profile — even if you email prospects — then you are exponentially lowering your odds at meeting someone. So unless you’re in the midst of doing a profile makeover or are dating someone and waiting to see how serious it gets then there’s no reason to hide your profile.