Archive for the ‘Date Night’ Category

Nothing is more awkward than the dreaded friend of the family set-up. As if dating wasn’t irritating enough, now you have various members of the peanut gallery suggesting future flings for you! So what do you do? Appease them, and spend at least an hour of your life wishing you were anywhere but here? I guess that hour beats an entire week of guilt tripping cate of every member of your family. But, to the rebellious jewish princess that more often than not dates everyone she shouldn’t, what exactly do you have to lose? In fact, one of these set ups may surprise you, and you could wind up with, dare I even suggest it, someone your mother would approve of! I know, that in and of itself is not exactly a turn-on, but not having to listen to fifty-five members of your family bitch at you about the sitch is reason enough. So give up an hour and you may be pleasantly surprised. You can always come up with some form of domestic emergency later if things don’t work out- like your cat decided to play in traffic, or the cupcakes you don’t even know how to cook up are burning and now your house is on fire. Just be creative, you don’t want him to know you’re ditching him to head home for a better date with your DVR.

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Is chivalry dead? Do independent women like chivalry? I am probably one of the most independent girls one could ever meet.  I go to work every day, pay my own bills, live alone, and rarely ask for help. I think nowadays some men believe independent women like to do everything for themselves.  I actually do enjoy taking care of myself 100%, but does that mean I don’t want to be treated like a girl? No, not really.  I have to admit I do like the car door opened for me. I like a door to a restaurant held open for me. I like to feel protected and cared for.  I like when a guy treats me like I am a girl. Not that I can’t do everything for myself, but chivalry, especially when I’m interested in the other person, makes me feel special.  In my opinion, chivalry is alive and well.

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One of the various perks of MMA training is that when you fall in lust with a fellow fighter and they happen to aggravate you, you can actually beat the living daylights out of them. You can channel said anger into a right cross that happens to end up in a fist-meet-face scenario. This type of very physical therapy is probably my favorite. Not only does it serve you in the future by making you even hotter than ever – it’s as if your motivation is right in front of your face! Could the urge to workout be any more convenient? I doubt it. In Los Scandalous, a land of too many size twos, where eating is a less-than- fabulous faux pas, a girl can use all the motivation to lose the lbs. that she can get. So even though he may have kicked you where it hurts (your heart), you can seek superficial vengeance when you accidentally feng shui his face. Welcome to the new form of psychiatric help. The less expensive one-on-one therapy that happens to keep you sane. So when your current crush turned crash wants more, show him what he’s in for. You can’t keep a good girl down, for too long…

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I met a great guy.  We seemed to click on all levels.  Our date was planned for 7:00.  I had my getting ready routine planned down to the minute.  Get home from work, shower, hair, make-up, cute new outfit, the works.  At exactly 6:22, I was ready to go.  I knew it would take me approximately 15 minutes to drive to the meeting place.  I didn’t want to be early, but I had to account for LA traffic, ugh! I left, anticipation and excitement was in the air.  This was going to be great, I just knew it, or so I thought. After waiting for my date and sitting alone at a restaurant for 45 minutes on a Saturday night I was furious! No phone call or text.  He finally arrived and he was gorgeous to look at. He apologized and explained the traffic was horrific.  I forgave him, had a great night and we planned to meet during the week.

Again, I planned my time to the minute.  I arrived at the pre-arranged meeting place a few minutes early and you guessed it, I waited almost an hour this time.  When he finally appeared he had one excuse after the other.  I finally told him to stop with the explanations and just be honest. He finally admitted this was his downfall in life, he is always late! That was the last I saw of him.  If there is one pet peeve of mine it is tardiness. There is a lot I can forgive, but not this. I understand things happen, but being chronically late raises a red flag. For those of us still looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, it is important to know what it is we are willing to look the other way on and what it is we are not willing to let go of. I know for me all it would do is cause frustration and, eventually, resentment. I’m hoping my next date is chronically on time – that would be great!

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Would you (and be honest) set up a friend of the opposite sex that you were attracted to — but weren’t dating? This was a conversation and predicament that I had with a guy friend recently. This resulted in the theory of the “lay away plan.”  Why would you set up someone if you might want to date them in the future or you knew that doing so would make you jealous? The answer: because the person is a friend, a true friend, and you would like them to be happy and you are willing to be selfless to see that happen. And if you can’t, maybe your friendship isn’t as true as you thought…Or, maybe you should ask them out. Things that make you go hmmm.

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So when does that initial, likely random, first date turn into something less random and more familiar?  When does the relationship start feeling as if you’re with someone who should have always been there…?

ON the first date you had a good time, a great time, a pleasant time. You go on a second and third date, but yet you’re not yet convinced as you begin to dip your feet into the potentially rough riptides.  You are in the ocean taking a step further in as each date passes, but the question is, are you being brought back to the sandy shore because of other options in the dating pool, or maybe because it just doesn’t feel quite right and the waves are pushing you back?

Or

Is it something that sticks with you even if you are not quite sure if you can explain it?  Even if it’s based on nothing more than a feeling, it’s still something you feel you should “tread” out.  So you hang out where you toes barely touch and you tread water content with seeing where this swim can take you. Will you encounter a tsunami with waves that will crash and burn or will it be a calm excursion that brings you deeply intertwined in a calm that you never experienced.

Many of us have our one-hit wonders that bring us back to shore, BUT in the event there is that connection that is worth treading for,  hold on to it for dear life because waves like that don’t come around too often. Some might even say it is an illusion, so enjoy the ride.

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Dear Gems from Jen,

Honestly, I find the blind online dating thing to be a little bit overwhelming. Normally, when you meet someone with whom you want to go out with, you come to that decision after a series of meetings, but on JDate the process is much more accelerated.

Each time that I’ve gone out on a date it’s been with a woman who I corresponded with over a few e-mails and who I find attractive from our e-mails and her photos. Each time, the conversation is good – smiling, laughing, no awkward silences – but the end is a bit of mystery. I hardly know the woman, but I want to see her again. If this were someone who I finally asked out after a period of getting to know her, I would definitely kiss her. But in this situation – where we’ve logged only two hours of face time together – I’m a bit perplexed. Do I kiss her? Do we hug? Do I make plans to get together again?

Is this a common reaction to first dates from other JDaters? What do I do? Thanks.

Dear First Date Confusion,

I definitely understand your confusion! Online dating is not the same as meeting in the outside world.  However, things can and do progress naturally if the two people involved allow it to. It sounds as if your dates aren’t lasting long enough. Try having dates that last an entire evening. This way you can be sure if you are truly interested.
If you want to see someone again why not just ask her? Kissing and/or hugging at the end of a first date, whether it happens from a JDate meeting or an outside meeting is up to each person and how he/she is feeling. How would you handle it if you met without JDate? Go with your gut and make the decision based on how you are feeling. Don’t rush things, and let what happens come naturally. Think of it this way; meeting online can be a rushed process, but use the first date as just that, a first date.

Signed,
Gems from Jen

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Dear Gems from Jen,

Any suggestions for those of us living far from other members? I have written to many men who peak my interest, but they live three hours away by car. I am willing to travel to meet them, but just about every time they tell me I sound very interesting, but they don’t want to meet because of the distance. Are there really people who meet despite the distance between them? What makes the difference?

Dear Too Many Miles,

My best suggestion is to keep up the search. Yes, there are people willing to meet even if there is some distance. I do realize there are some people who would prefer the convenience of having a date closer, but that does not necessarily mean you don’t have a shot with at least some of them.  Not being geographically desirable does not make or break someone’s chances.  It might make your pickings a bit slimmer, but if two people are interested in one another it can and does happen.

If you are not getting the responses you desire, try narrowing your search to potential matches that live a bit closer. Don’t give up though. Dating takes time and energy and is usually worth the effort.

 Signed,
 Gems from Jen

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So there you are on a first date which often feels like an interview from your academic resume by your siblings. The fact is that rarely anything earth shattering is going to be revealed on your first or second meeting.  I am amused thinking of the convenience and efficiency if the cards were placed on the table revealing everyone’s  baggage and so early on you can make the determination of whether or not you might want to invest  in another three months in the courtship ritual. Granted it takes away the chance of falling in love and then perhaps those Jokers aren’t as much as a stumbling block as you might have otherwise thought.

However for me, that hasn’t been the case during those first meetings. You sit across the table as you hear the yadi yadi catching every third word or so and wondering, ‘is this someone I want to kiss?’ C’mon, you know you all have thought that as he/she is recanting that funny story from their younger days.  While making this determination you hear the yadi yadi yadi and may miss some good nuggets of substantive information that reveal the person’s character. And seriously, isn’t that the most important thing (of course, after an initial determination of kissability)?

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In a city comprised of five billion of your closest strangers, it’s inevitable that you’ll forget a few faces. Then, it’s completely possible that you’ll full on mistake a perfect stranger for a close friend. I found myself on the receiving end of just such a scenario this past Saturday night. I had just arrived at the Belmont, and was warmly embraced by a random dude! Either the Belmont had one hell of a welcome wagon, or this was just an honest mistake. So, being the ever-ready girl on the go that I am, I returned the hug with the gracious phrase, “I’m sorry – do I know you?” He retorted point blank, that he was so-and-so, and that we had just finalized our date on the phone. I had clearly stumbled into someone else’s blind date –and, let’s face it, it’s hard enough to endure the surprise scenario when one is prepared for just such a situation. Now imagine if it were a sneak attack! He made quite an impression on both myself, and his actual date, who happened to be watching the entire catastrophe unfold from right behind us! Not only were the bouncer and I laughing hysterically, my night now came complete with one hell of an ice-breaker. So, thanks to said stranger, his actual date (who besides the long dark hair looked nothing like me) and the minor meeting mishap, there were no awkward silences that couldn’t be handled with a quick bit of wit. If you can’t laugh at yourself, at least laugh at the other dude locked in the simple scenario with you. Los Scandalous sets the stage for a various number of scenes. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst and laugh with your audience. If you’re going down, do it with grace-and you’ll often end up saving yourself and your co-conspirator from very public humiliation.

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