Archive for the ‘Date Night’ Category

Impulse Control

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate

Some people don’t think before they speak. And that can lead to some awkward moments on a date where one person puts their foot in their mouth after apologizing for being rude or belligerent — and the other person needs to wipe a disgusted and/or shocked look off their face.

Honesty is not always the best policy. Sometimes omission is best.

  • Don’t ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer
  • Don’t tell a date that you were “here last week on another JDate”
  • Don’t tell a date that you have too many emails on JDate to read through, so they should consider themselves lucky.

If you are about to make a comment that you wouldn’t want to hear from your date, then keep it to yourself.


Love at First JDate: Where Should We Go?

by JenG under Date Night,Single Life

I always see articles on the internet that try to teach people about the perfect place to take someone on a first date. All the ideas I come across are very lavish, over the top, and truly a waste of time when you are meeting someone you know very little about – for the very first time.

  • Do: It’s easiest to do something simple on your first date. I always recommend coffee or a drink. Something that allows the two of you to sit down and get to know each other for a little while. When there’s too much background noise or a crowd gets in your way, it becomes hard to truly get to know the person.
  • Don’t: Do not go to noisy places. Save the movies for a future date. Go somewhere that’s close for you and them – no one is eager to travel a long distance to meet someone for the first time. Try to choose a place that’s convenient for both of you. You also want to select a time that is not too late at night in order to be considerate about the plans (whether it’s work or something else) that they have going on the next day. Try to make your first meeting a little after dinner time – especially if you are not planning to eat on your date.

Follow Jen here: @tthingsilearned


Don’t Let Your Nerves Get The Best Of You

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Single Life

I’ve witnessed many dates where someone was so nervous they couldn’t even hold eye contact, or spoke so fast they couldn’t figure out how to end a sentence, or even (much to my wide-eyed horror) they actually tripped over their own feet.

These situations happen to everyone at some point — whether it’s because you’ve built up expectations of a prospect you’re about to meet or because you’re totally enamored with your date. Eventually there will come a time when you will need to compose yourself.

Take a deep breath. Smile. Remind yourself that the person sitting across from you is probably just as nervous. Perhaps even crack a joke to break the ice about the first date jitters. You can do this!


Style Tips

by Aaron under Date Night

Like many things in my life, this change was one I knew I’d instantly remember: “It’s time to dress like an adult,” my friend Ryan said, in a surprisingly non-insulting manner. I knew it was time to change the way I dressed. I went from cargo shorts and AEPi shirts year round to polos and shorts in the summer, and a v-neck sweater with a button down in the winter.

It was a slow process, and while I am not the best-dressed person in every room, I am typically the most varied and coordinated in what I wear. I think it’s added a lot to conversations and helped me to feel more confident, and I’d like to share some tips to help you add personality to your outfits. Note: most of these are aimed at men as I only dress like a man, but feel free to provide input.

  • Accessorize. Whether it’s a watch, hat, fun undershirt, sweater, or other item, an accessory is always a great idea. Lately I’m big on fun socks — TheTieBar.com and Express both sell great, cheap socks. I also love a good tie clip (also available on The Tie Bar for cheap) and different color yarmulkes/baseball caps.
  • Mix it up. Let a button loose in a new place, roll up sleeves you normally don’t, pair odd colors together. Sometimes things look stupid, but sometimes you make a great fashion find. My favorite was wearing a shirt at the University of Florida Chabad last summer, and having someone tell me my undershirt was a bad choice with my button down shirt. Instead, I made a transformation into a “fundershirt” as I called it. I went from looking ridiculous with a thick undershirt, to having a pink collared shirt unbuttoned with sleeves rolled up and a yellow undershirt brightly giving my outfit an extra oomph.
  • Don’t worry about it. Sometimes things look stupid, and that’s okay. In fact, I would argue dressing like a schlub can be a great way to display a different sort of confidence. If you mismatch and someone points it out, great, thank them for pointing it out and laugh about it. JDate released a study a month ago, and most people find style negligible anyway, but a sense of humor and confidence will go a long way no matter what you’re wearing.

Speed Dating? Read This!

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Single Life

After hosting a HurryDate event last week, I have some advice that all singles who are planning to attend speed dating events should read:

1. Dress to Impress

There was a man there wearing a hat. Really? Just like your JDate profile photo, why on earth would you show up wearing a hat? There were ladies wearing sandals. Not only is it February, but there is nothing sexy about sandals.

2. Be on Time

It’s tough to start the event if all the people aren’t there. Check in and then go grab a drink from the bar.

3. Smile

Nothing says “approachable” better than a smile. That, and don’t cross your arms over your chest.

4. Be Conversation Ready

Most of the questions that can be asked within the five-minute time frame of the speed date are the obvious ones, so be prepared to answer: “What do you do?” and “Where do you live/Where are you from?” And try to answer with easy, one-line answers that you haven’t rehearsed.

5. Don’t Ask: “Why Are You Still Single?”

“Why are you still single?” and “What is your relationship history?” are questions to be saved for a later time. If someone asks you these questions during a speed dating party, then your answers should go like this, respectively: “For the same reason you’re still single, I haven’t met the right person yet” and “I’ve been in some meaningful relationships where I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I want in a mate, and I’d be happy to share that with you on another date.” Then change the topic.

 

Finally, stick around after and socialize. You may meet another single to attend future single events with you, or you may get to continue talking with someone, like the couple who was still chatting an hour after the event ended last week…

 

Buy Tamar’s book How to Woo a Jew on Amazon now!


Love at First JDate: How to Get Over a Bad Date

by JenG under Date Night,Single Life

Bad dates: we’ve all had them. Some of us have them back-to-back, and we swear off dating to the point where we’d almost agree to do anything other than go on another one ever again. There’s a lot to do when you find yourself feeling annoyed by another bad date. The best thing, however, is to take a step back and — when you are ready — try again.

  • Do: Talk about it. The best way to get over a bad date is to find a way to laugh about it. Maybe they were rude, or you did something embarrassing, or there was more chemistry in the liquid concoction you were drinking during the date than there was between the two of you. Tell your friends about it, or your roommate, or whomever will take the time to listen. The more people that you tell, the better you’ll feel — and the more you’ll be ready to move on and try again.
  • Don’t: Sulk in it. Try not to replay the details in your head over and over again. Try to let it go before it overwhelms you. The more you think about it, the more it will start to become a part of you — and it’s best to avoid that.

HurryDate

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Single Life

I’m hosting a HurryDate event in Los Angeles this Wednesday (today!) and it got me thinking about the advantages of speed dating:

For starters, you know the people attending are serious about finding someone because they aren’t going to spend the time or money to partake in such an event if they aren’t. Secondly, you get to meet other singles who fit your demographic: in this case Jews in their 20′s and early 30′s, and to top it off there’s about an equal number of each gender. And finally, you get to talk with so many people for a short enough amount of time to either get out of a bad or awkward pairing, or to discover you want to learn more about the person sitting across from you. Seems like a win-win situation to me.

Get your copy of Tamar’s book “How to Woo a Jew” at Barnes & Noble and Amazon now.

 


Flirting Physically

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Single Life

Body language is important — especially on a date or at a singles event — but when does physical flirting go too far? We all know about making eye contact, looking away, and then making eye contact again (women typically add in a hair flip or twirl for good measure); and then holding the eye contact and adding a smile. But when is it too much?

If you’re constantly licking your lips or biting the corner of your lip, remind yourself that you’re not LL Cool J and put your tongue back in your mouth. The same goes for caressing your fingers down your cleavage or mimicking a growl or a bite. Tone it down. Unless of course your intent is just to hook up because that’s the impression you’re giving off.

There’s a difference between flirting with class and flirting with crass, and it’s not a fine line. It’s a wide, multi-lane highway. You can be obvious about flirting without being over the top.


Love at First JDate: Post-Valentine’s Day Motivation

by JenG under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating

You made it! You won’t have to deal with the pressure of Valentine’s Day for at least another 364 days. No need to worry about making plans with someone you just started dating, or figuring out how to make it through the day without eating too many cupcakes.

After V-Day, I’m always a bit more motivated to do something about my dating life; jump-starting my online activity and going out on more dates.

  • Do: When you want to start going on more dates, and are more open to meeting someone, schedule a part of your day (whether before work or after work) where you devote a certain amount of time to online dating and messaging people back.
  • Do (Bonus!): Be the first to send a message if you come across a profile that you like and admire. Let your post-VDay motivation make you more confident with making that first move. You’ll likely see better results.

Follow Jen Glantz here: www.twitter.com/tthingsilearned


Love at First JDate: How to Survive Valentine’s Day (If You’re Single)

by JenG under Date Night,Single Life

I’m 25 now and being single on Valentine’s Day is getting harder to ignore. Social media, married friends, and having a CVS on every single corner have become constant reminders that I’ll most likely be spending the day shoving Hershey’s Kisses in my mouth and watching the new season of House of Cards, on my couch, alone.

Here are 10 ways to get through the dreaded holiday:

1. Do something to pamper yourself. Something you wouldn’t do any other day of the year.
2. Combine three of your favorite things and do them all in one night.
3. Valentine’s Day is NOT just about romance. Appreciate the ones you love to love.
4. Treat yourself to the giant chocolate hearts from CVS.
5. Take yourself out on a “you” date.
6. Gather the troops together.
7. Use your off buttons.
8. Surround yourself with other singles.
9. Give back to others.
10. Remind someone of how much you love them.