Archive for the ‘Date Night’ Category

Making Plans to Make a Point

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

When you’re interested in someone — whether it’s a new prospect on JDate or after a first date or after a few months — making plans is the way to let them know you’re still interested!

People can carry on conversations with lots of prospects online, but it’s only you’ve made plans that you know this one is different. And then after the first date, having plans made immediately for a second date is how you know that there’s enough mutual interest to continue getting to know each other. And once you’ve been dating for awhile, then making plans is assumed.

Whenever a plan isn’t made — regardless of the scenario — is when people begin feeling insecure about where the relationship (or the possibility of one) is going. So if you like someone, make plans to see them again, otherwise you’re just playing games.


Matters of the Heart

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

When it comes to matters of the heart,  every person will have a different viewpoint. People like to spew all sorts of cliches:

  • “I knew he was ‘The One’ the moment I laid eyes on him, and you should get that feeling too”
  • “Love is blind and doesn’t see color, religion, or money”
  • “Love is easy, and if it’s too hard, then it’s not true love”

Just because one couple had a successful relationship after falling in love at first sight, or being a different race and believing in a different G-D, or never fighting, doesn’t mean that’s how it should be for you. In fact, those couples are the exception — not the rule. When it comes to matters of the heart, there’s only one cliche that counts: follow your heart.


Eye Gunk, Cotton Mouth, and Other Yuckiness

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Relationships,Single Life

Do you remember that episode of Friends when Chandler complains about Rachel’s boss’s eye gunk? You know, the mascara that gathers in the corners of women’s eyes after a long day? Many men complain to me how much it grosses them out. That, and the raccoon eyes women get from their eyeliner and mascara in the pool or shower. Unfortunately this is another thing that women have to think about when they’re dating.

What about that white stuff that gathers in the corners of your lips when you have cotton mouth? Ew! Or the boogers that you can’t figure out how to get rid of without digging for gold? Ew! How about those razor bumps or zits that seem to appear out of nowhere? There is so much to have to deal with when you’re dating because you don’t want your prospect to see you looking less than perfect — or even worse, being grossed out by something and getting the Ick Factor! Ironically, this is often the stuff you stop caring about as soon as you’re in a committed, long-term relationship!


What NOT to Wear

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Online Dating,Single Life

I’ve discussed this topic before, but now Reddit readers have come together to make a list of what singles should never wear on a date unless they want to stay single.

The list is pretty thorough, but many suggestions on Reddit didn’t make the final cut… but deserved to! They include such gems like:

  • Floor-length jean skirts
  • A court-mandated ankle bracelet (duh!)
  • Platform flip-flops
  • T-shirts with stupid sayings, or cartoons, or giveaways from sporting events (especially when tucked into slacks or light blue jeans with tennis shoes)
  • Saggy pants
  • And crocs

Do any of these describe your wardrobe?


Start New, Start Now

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Judaism,Relationships,Single Life

I believe in any excuse to commit to bettering yourself — whether it be January 1st or the Jewish New Year, the start of the school year or your birthday — find any excuse to start being a better you now.

The High Holy Days are a great time to do so since you get the opportunity to repent and redeem yourself. When you’re reading the alphabet of sins, and are able to unfortunately connect with a few of them (admit it, it’s way more than just a few!), then make a promise to yourself to be better starting now.

Stop judging prospects based on their bad photos or typos, stop speaking badly about others and gossiping about your dates or others in the community, stop lying and deceiving others whether in your profile or in person. And of course there are so many more ways to become a better person, don’t wait for December 31st… start now!


Shana Tova!

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Judaism,Single Life

Here are some great lists, articles, and videos for singles to read/watch while hiding out in the bathroom during a break from High Holy Day services:

23 Reasons People Actually Ended a Relationship

71 Reasons We We’re All Still F*cking Single

If Women Were Honest on First Dates

10 Things Happy Couples Do Differently

Weird Things All Couples Fight About

Best wishes for a happy and healthy New Year, and I hope this year leads each of you to a better you… and possibly even to your beshert!


Married at First Sight — The Finale

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Entertainment,Relationships

I first mentioned the show Married at First Sight back in July when it premiered on the fyi, network. After 5 weeks the couples had to decide to stay together or divorce. Then this past week they caught up with the three couples five months later (six months after the met) to see where they were, how they were doing, and what they thought after watching the show air.

Of the three couples, two decided to stay together and are still together to this day. The third had a difficult time getting along from the start and chose to divorce. They were the oldest couple, they were the only couple to consummate their marriage before their wedding night, and they were the only couple not to get a new residence, choosing instead to move into the wife’s existing apartment. None of these were necessarily the reasons they split up, of course, but it is worth mentioning the differences between them and the other couples.

There were a few items that stood out to me about the only couple who failed in this social experiment: as the oldest couple they were each more independent and set in their ways than the other couples; although they had great physical chemistry, they acted on it before establishing any trust or even a friendship; they had a difficult time communicating and each became very defensive when being criticized; and finally, they wanted vastly different types of relationships: he desired more stereotypical gender roles — while she did not. This is a fundamental difference of opinion — a clear incompatibility — and a topic that needs to be discussed on one of the first few dates.


#TheSinglesProject

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Entertainment,Relationships,Single Life

#TheSinglesProject, Bravo! TV’s revolutionary show about singles dating in real-time with input from the Twitterverse, has become must-see TV.

The eligible bachelor and bachelorettes run the gamut of different “types” in the dating world right now. We have seen them date their status quo and then allow others — friends, family, and Twitter — weigh in on who they should date next. Most times the set-up fails miserably, but it is nonetheless interesting to observe who others think is right for each person. The best part about the show is seeing how the singles — Tabasum, Lee, Ericka, Joey, Brian, and Kerry — see themselves on TV and read about themselves on Twitter… and then make changes to how they each think and act.

If nothing else, the show has provided a unique microscope for which singles to examine their lives and make adjustments accordingly. Would you go on a show like this?


Being Needy vs Having Needs

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Relationships,Single Life

Everyone has needs when it comes to a relationship and some people have more than others. Some need to hear they are loved every day. Other people need love in the form of affection and touch; to them, actions speak louder than words. And yet others just need to know they can trust you and that’s enough for them.

Being needy is an entirely different thing. Being needy is needing to talk and text all day, every day and expecting your partner to know how you are feeling without telling them… at any given time. Being needy is depending upon someone to complete you, rather than complement you (and yes, being needy is depending upon someone to compliment you as well). Being needy is needing to be doing something, with someone, all the time. Being needy is jumping from relationship to relationship because you’re afraid of being alone. If any of those descriptions sound mildly familiar then try taking some time to yourself to reflect on your life and what’s really important.


Watch It: TV Shows to Start as a Couple

by Aaron under Date Night,Entertainment,JDate,Judaism,News,Online Dating,Relationships

We hear it all the time — this is “the Golden Age of Television.” And while movies used to (and all too often, still do) dominate dating entertainment, TV is becoming a great substitute. Especially when you want a consistent excuse to see each other early on, TV shows can be a great bridge. That being said, sometimes choosing a show you both have an interest in starting can be difficult. Lucky for you, that’s why I’m here. So,here’s a list of shows I recommend watching as a couple:

1. Curb Your Enthusiasm/The Comeback (HBO)

If you like to laugh, enjoy the awkwardness of others, and have access to HBO, these are fun shows to watch together. Curb is especially relatable with other Jews, and The Comeback is similar but with Lisa Kudrow as an aging actress with no self awareness. The Comeback is a show I’m currently watching and it’s great in that not a lot of people have seen it. It’s only got one quick season so it’s a great starter show, and if things work out (or if you fall for Kudrow’s Valerie Cherish character), you can check out the decade-later return slated to air in November for a limited run.

2. Orange is the New Black (Netflix)

While I’m sure this is a heavily viewed show, it’s also very gender neutral and easy to jump into. This was the first show my girlfriend and I watched together, starting with the second season (we’d both seen the first), and it made for great times together, or as a great cap to our dates.

3. Masters of Sex (Showtime)

My current partner-binge is a tough recommendation as we’re only one episode in, but so far we’re enjoying it. It’s sexy and has some fun stuff for everyone watching, plus great performances.

4. Brooklyn Nine-Nine/Parks and Recreation (Hulu/broadcast networks)

While the shows are both in very different places, both star likeable ex-SNL cast members in government roles of some kind, solving problems every week. Both shows are much more than that, however, and are very enjoyable to watch together.

5. Mad Men (AMC/Netflix)

The quintessential unisex drama, whether you’re drawn to it for it’s flashy looks or deep character studies, this show has something for everyone. Just beware it can be a little slow… which makes it all the better for some late-night cuddle sessions.

Fall honorable mention:

Affair on Showtime is supposed to be exciting, and that starts airing soon. We’ll be there for the get-go.

My list is brief, but there’s a lot out there to watch these days. What shows have you and your partner (real or theoretical) been watching or considering watching? At what point do you think people should commit to a series together? Comment below!