Archive for the ‘JDate’ Category

This Week’s Top Three Tweet-Worthy Events From Jews Who Make News

1. Zuckerberg Takes Facebook Public

Traders can expect to see the ticker symbol “FB” on a major stock exchange soon.

Facebook, Inc. filed paperwork to go public last Wednesday. Mark Zuckerberg, who was raised Jewish, founded Facebook in 2004. Since then, the company has grown tremendously, earning $1 billion in profits last year alone.

CNN reports that Zuckerberg will now officially become a billionaire on paper. On Wednesday, CNN’s Breaking News account Tweeted, “Facebook says stock worth $29.73 a share; Zuckerberg holds 534 million shares worth $16 billion.”

2. SJP Fills In For Demi Moore In An Emergency

Sarah Jessica Parker is taking over Demi Moore’s role as Gloria Steinem in the forthcoming Linda Lovelace biopic. Parker accepted the part just three days before she was asked to start filming. The actress, whose father is Jewish, is filling in for Demi Moore who dropped out of the film after being hospitalized last week.

US Weekly is already Tweeting new pics of SJP in a long blond wig for the Steinem role. On Thursday, the magazine Tweeted, “First pic of Sarah Jessica Parker as Gloria Steinem in Lovelace! http://bit.ly/z0qqht Is SJP a good replacement for Demi Moore?”

3. The Truth Behind “Online Sweetheart”

JDate’s newest Success Story has been getting plenty of attention on The Howard Stern Show. Elisa Jordana, the Jewish former keytartist for Cobra Starship, and Benjy Bronk, a Jewish comedian and writer on The Howard Stern Show, are not only a JDate Success Story, but are also behind the song, “Online Sweetheart.” The song, which can be viewed on YouTube, is an ode to the love Jordana and Bronk found on JDate.

Some HSS staffers and fans say Jordana and Bronk are exploiting their connection to the show and only wrote the song to further their careers and find greater fame. However, Jordana says their love is real and tells JMag she and Bronk only wrote the song to share a positive message about finding love.

Jordana Tweeted a grateful response to a fan who read the article on Thursday, “Thank u we appreciate that! RT @SkipStarcher: @bronk Okay I was a skeptic at 1st. I love ur Jdate interview. I DL’d the song on iTunes (2x).”

After being on JDate for a long enough time, I can’t help but be cynical about every single profile I read. The phrase, “I’m a down to earth girl” may have one time had a meaning. This meaning was probably really nice and pleasant and implied only good things. Today, however, that phrase means absolutely nothing. It’s also annoying. What is ‘down to earth’? Of course, it’s not supposed to be taken literally. Or is it?

Okay, assuming it has nothing to do with a woman’s gravitational force and its relationship with the earth, what else is left? I suppose it implies friendliness. Down to earth. It could mean that you are able to cut through the bull. You don’t deal with superficialities. You’re not just skin deep. You’re a straight shooter. Oh no! I can’t even describe a cliché without using another cliché!

Alright, so I can’t really describe why I hate ‘down to earth’, and I don’t really know why I hate it. But I do. I hate it so much. I’m assuming that since you decided to describe yourself without simply posting a promiscuous picture with no words that you’re ‘down to earth’. Actually, all you have to do is write words. Any words at all. And any man will automatically assume that you are down to earth. It is completely implied. Don’t worry. Also, I’m not speaking for myself, but some men enjoy women who are not down to earth. Some men like aesthetics and pageantry. They seek an old-fashioned courtship, aside from the fact they are hypocrites because they are seeking it on the internet. Guys are just horrible.

There will probably come a point, during your online JDate dating adventure, when you grow somewhat tired. It’s past 2 am. You’ve been at your computer for eight hours straight. You’ve been chatting with girls, reading the hilarious and sometimes touching JBlog, and doing other ancillary JDate-related activities like reading JMag or playing the JGames or using the JCalculator.

The television has been on for hours, but you hadn’t realized that it’s still on until you finally notice that the conversation you’ve been having via instant message with a nice, Jewish girl in Milwaukee is a word-for-word replica of the Insanity Workout informercial that’s been playing since Comedy Central stopped its nighttime programming at midnight. “So you’re saying that all I have to do is run in place uphill as fast as I can for five hours a day, and I will lose five pounds in just one year?” I ask her. “Who are you?” she replies.

Okay so the point that I’m trying to make here is that it’s late and you’re tired. Though chatting online with nice women is fun, sometimes you need to go out. Since it’s the middle of the night, ‘going out’ could simply mean using the restroom or getting more soda. Really, though, I think that women can sense the fact that you’ve been on the computer for a third of a day, and that you do this on a regular basis. Women are born with an innate sense of, well, sense. That’s why, though JDate is great, you should go out sometimes. Or buy a book about dating. Or both.

JDate asks you a question: what have you learned from your past relationships, or, simply “My Past Relationships”? It’s a tricky question but you’ve got to answer it. For the most part, the Jewish community is small, so even though you may not personally know a JDater, you may know who they’re talking about in that paragraph.

Stating that you now know that you don’t want someone who is ‘a spoiled, trust fund brat’ or a ‘pompous, egomaniac, even if he is a doctor’ will actually make you look bad, not better. You’re talking badly about an ex rather than showing what you learned about yourself. Not only does it make you look immature, but it’s gossip and it’s ugly. Use this opportunity to talk about how you have grown and the person you want to be instead.

This Week’s Top Three Tweet-Worthy Events From Jews Who Make News

1.    People’s Choice Awards Include Three Jewish Winners

Quite a few Jewish stars were winners at the People’s Choice Awards on Wednesday night. Adam Sandler took home the Favorite Comedic Movie Actor award, Lea Michele snagged the Favorite TV Comedy Actress spot and Adam Levine’s Maroon 5 won the award for Favorite Band.

Jewish actress, Kat Dennings, was happy to see her new TV show, 2 Broke Girls win Favorite New TV Comedy. Dennings Tweeted on Thursday, “THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who voted…teamwork equals People’s Choice Award!!! Thank you thank you thank you for voting.”

2.    Two Shows, One Chelsea

Chelsea Handler is celebrating the debut of her second TV show, Are You There, Chelsea? The new comedy debuted on NBC last Wednesday. The show is based on Chelsea Handler’s 2008 book, Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.

The Jewish comedian/TV host/author now has a total of two television shows with Chelsea Lately still going strong on E! as well. Will this new show do as well as her first? That remains to be seen.

Handler Tweeted on Thursday, “Thanks for watching are you there, last night. The show gets better each week, I promise. I wouldn’t put my name on something unless I didn’t think is funny. So, stick it out and then in.”

3.    Zach Braff On JDate?

Don’t get too excited ladies. Jewish actor Zach Braff was obviously joking last Monday when he Tweeted, “Just tried to use my Jdate password to sign into my Christian Mingle account… awkward.”

Still, we’re encouraging him to give the Jewish girls what they want! Our social media team Tweeted this in response, “@zachbraff Seriously, you should join @JDate, you would clean up! Our members would be SO excited! Meet a nice, Jewish girl! #JDate”.

We haven’t heard a response from Braff yet, but perhaps Braff could be persuaded to join JDate if our female members ask nicely via Twitter! Here’s hoping!

One of my all-time favorite movies was Being There. Chauncey Gardiner, played brilliantly by the late Peter Sellers, uttered simplistic ramblings in which his worshipers mistakenly read great value. In other words, less is sometimes more. Take the JDate profiles that have yet to be filled out.

My favorite books, movies, TV shows, music and food: (not answered yet) Wow! We have so much in common. My favorite books, movies, TV shows, music and food haven’t been answered yet either!

For fun, I like to… (not answered yet) I too find it fun not answering a questionnaire that asks me what I like doing for fun!

You should definitely message me if you… (not answered yet)

I haven’t answered you yet, so I should definitely message you. And when we go out, remind me to remind you to tell me your story about “not answered yet.”

It’s one of my life’s ambitions not answered yet.

A native Chicago woman I met recently happened to bemoan that in Los Angeles, not the easiest town for meeting people (unless they’re encased in tons of steel), guys rarely utter the “d” word. No, not “divorced.” “Date.”

Wanna meet for coffee? Fine. Catch a movie? Sure. Go out on a date? Let’s think first. Are we really ready for that kind of commitment?

Before we rename JDate JHang, maybe it’s time to reexamine our phobias about dating. For most of us, the date that will live in infamy isn’t just Pearl Harbor Day. Most of them eventually end on a less than mutually blissful note. Otherwise, we wouldn’t still be looking. Maybe we’re reluctant to assign the lost opportunities of past dates to future ones. But, before we neuter the term into oblivion, let’s make a date to start treating “date” with the respect it deserves. Interested in her? Ask her out on a date. Not interested in him? Tell him, “No. But, let’s catch a movie.”

Okay. I’ll hit the theater near me. You hit the one near you.

Two days in the rest room.  Are you okay? … That’s good… So where were we? … Oh yeah, I was asking what you do…

If you sell real estate … Challenging times these days, huh? …

If you elaborate, I’ll show you my listening skills. If you sounded annoyed with my follow-up, I’ll try to make a joke … If this doesn’t work out and you set me up with a friend, can I call you a “charming fixer-upper?”

If you give me a rim shot … Listen, it was nice meeting you. Not really, but I figure we might as well cut our losses.

If you start apologizing for being in a crummy mood, and that it has nothing to do with me … That’s okay. Is everything all right?

If you relay something traumatic, I’ll feel embarrassed and try to make amends for prematurely ending our “date.” But if you go on to describe the small annoyances in your day, I’ll pretend I’m listening as I mentally rehearse how to convincingly slip in the “It was nice meeting you” kiss-off.

So what do you like to do for fun? …

If you say, “I love the sun,” I’ll try to hide my preference for cloudy skies. If you say, “The usual: Movies, restaurants, traveling,” I’ll say, “Me too,” meaning I like “the usual” too, which could be different from your usual, but you don’t have to know that yet. That is, till my keyboard just opened its big mouth.

Been watching the debates? …

If you ask, “What’s with Ron Paul’s right eyebrow?” I’ll laugh, and go … “Yeah, it looks like it became unglued.” If you say, “Romney never looks unglued,” I’ll go … “If it were his eyebrow, he’d flip-flop between his right and his left.”

If you laugh, I’ll laugh and think, this is fun. This is what dating should be!

If you ask who I’m voting for … Chelsea Clinton in 2024. After I don’t vote for Jeb Bush in 2016 and 2020.

If you laugh again, I’m asking you out. If you give me a rim shot … Listen, it was nice meeting you.

They say 1 in 5 relationships start online, but I think it’s more when it comes to the Jewish community. I know way too many couples who met on JDate® to believe that it’s only 20%. It’s gotta be way more at this point, when you start counting from Generation X and onward (ie. the ones who are both technologically savvy and who were also the ones single when JDate began). I have more than a few cousins and know more friends than I count who met on JDate. If I actually did the math, I’m almost positive it would be more than 20%. But still, I like the publicity of the general statistic because it normalizes online dating. Guess what? Online dating IS normal! If you’re Jewish, single and not on JDate, then what are you waiting for?

Where would we be without JDate? Forced to meet people in normal everyday situations. Yeah, like that’s gonna happen. Speaking of abnormal situations, available women by the thousands, listen up! What are you doing right now? I know it’s kind of sudden, but this being a brand spanking New Year, I was wondering if you’d like to have coffee sometime. Like this second. Go ahead, pour yourself a cup of coffee. Okay, to appreciably up my odds of connecting with at least one of you out there, I’m about to turn this into an interactive virtual mass date.

Hi… I’m Andy… What’s your name? … Say your name … Nice name …

If your name is Andi, I’ll wait for you to chuckle. If you’re Andi, and you’re not chuckling, note to self: Might not share sense of humor wavelength.

Re: your name … Be sure to thank your parents for me.

If you say, “Will do,” we’re moving on. If you say, “I don’t speak to my parents”… We have a lot in common. I don’t speak to your parents either.

If you chuckle, note to self: She may have parent issues, but she seems nice.

If you gave me a rim shot, note to self: Anything sounds moronic with a rim shot. E=MC2 sounds moronic with a rim shot.

Where are you from? … Say town … I always wanted to visit there …

If you said Buffalo or Pacoima, I’ll wait for you to stop chuckling at my ironic retort. If you’re not chuckling, see sense of humor caveat.

So, what do you do? …

If you’re a doctor, lawyer, or teacher … That must be very rewarding.

If you work at a supermarket checkout aisle … Does counting to ten at the ten items or less counter make you less angry? Not that you sound angry. It was just a joke.

The restroom? Well, you know where your own restroom is. I’ll see you when you get back.

Part 2 on Thursday.