Archive for the ‘Monday Makeover’ Category

Extreme Profile Makeover — “Simone”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Simone.”


Hi Simone,

I’ll be honest — I don’t love your profile name as it doesn’t say anything about you or your personality. I’m assuming it’s your initials and your birth date, but that frankly could be just like the JDate-assigned member number. Try to figure out another way to brand yourself. Use your first name, your location, your occupation, your passions, your hobbies, any combination of the above to make your profile name both stand out and represent your personality better than a couple letters and numbers.

I like your photos and I appreciate how you used a clear, close-up image of your face for your main profile photo. I also like that you showed 2 full-body pics next, and then ended with another close-up, showing your consistency in how you look. Your 4th photo is not high-resolution though, so I would either replace it or add another photo. Low-resolution photos don’t get enlarged when a prospect clicks on it and therefore they can’t really see who or what is in the picture. If you don’t know whether your photos are hi or low-res, then click on the photo’s properties and see what size it is. Anything less than 300dpi (dots per inch, as in pixels) means your photo will appear pixelated if enlarged.

Your “In My Own Words” answers were all written well, but there are some typos which are easily overlooked. This can be fixed if read again with fresh eyes. You sound very content and independent, so I would talk more about why you are looking for someone to share your hobbies with and how much more life you have to live — which you want to do with someone else.

You’ve picked a great age range and are general enough with your “Ideal Match” without being too vague. If you wanted to broaden your search, you could add “single” to the marital status for starters and “conservative” to the religion since you state that you don’t care how religious someone is as long as they respect your level of Judaism.

I think you’re on the right track and I wish you the best of luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover – “Hillary”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers each Monday. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Hillary.”


Hi Hillary,

Good call having your profile name be a combination of your name and an abbreviation of the city you live in. The only suggestion I would make is to maybe spell out the entire city because I didn’t know what the acronym was until I clicked on your name and saw where you lived.

More importantly, you need more pictures… way more pictures! The two you have look very different from each other. The first one is cute, but since you’re obviously dressed up for a simcha you need extra supporting photos to show that you always look that good! You’re second and only other photo makes you look much older than you are and much different than your profile photo. I would delete that one to be honest. You also do not show anything more than your face. Add some full body photos whether you like your body or not — because every man has a type, but more than that, every man wants to know what you look like from head to toe!

You should have about six photos with different angles, different lighting and different poses. Have a trusted friend or relative help you because we oftentimes see ourselves as much different than others — for good and bad. For instance, others often see us as more attractive than we view ourselves and we may think a certain hairdo is sexy, while others think a different ‘do is better on us.

All of your answers under the “In My Own Words” heading are great. Nothing stood out to me that was written poorly, or too much information, or not descriptive enough. Well done.

I appreciate that the minimum age range is 5 years younger than you, but I would increase the maximum. Don’t be afraid of entering the decade above yours because a man in his early 50’s may be younger at heart than a man in his mid-40’s.

Good luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover – “Jewell”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Online Dating

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Jewell.”


Hi Jewell,

You said you don’t love your profile name, so let’s start there. You have the word “Jew” in your name, so by combining your name and, well, the fact that you’re a Jew, is an easy and awesome play on words. Sometimes the obvious is the best. No need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to your profile name, just go for something cute and unique. Use Jewellicious, Jew4Jewell, or take my lead and craft something new!

Your pictures are great! I prefer the 3rd for your profile pic because your smile seems more genuine there. Obviously you did a photo shoot, which is fine because you used three very different facial expressions and angles to show your look is consistent. To answer your other question, yes, it’s okay to use supplementary pics with your family. You are a mother, so showing pictures of yourself surrounded by people you love is to your advantage. Make sure you include a description stating they are your kids/grandkids. The only time I caution against using pictures with kids is when you’re the aunt or uncle because that can get confusing.

Your “About Me” paragraph is written well. Your concern for non-Jews contacting you on the site can be avoided by mentioning how important your family and your Jewish values are in that paragraph. You can also select the option to only be seen by Jews. I would try to answer at least a few more questions to prove that you’re putting forth the effort, just as you would like the men whom contact you to do. Same goes for the multiple choice questions like “Likes & Interests” — if you have a few special hobbies, then select those from the list.

I appreciate that you maxed out your age range at 10 years your junior, but I don’t think you should be afraid to lower your minimum age range. Five years younger than you is still someone in the same stage of life.

By completing your profile and adding some more authentic photos, I think you’ll have more luck. You’re well on your way! Good luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover – “Amanda”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Amanda.”


Hi Amanda,

I strongly, strongly suggest you pick an actual username rather than using your member number. Your name offers you many ways to use a play on words to craft something really cute: LookingForAmanda (you’re looking for a man and the men should be looking for Amanda, get it?) or AmandaNeedsAManDuh or BeMandysMan and so on. When you have a name that can be capitalized on, then there’s absolutely no reason why you should have a number as your profile.

Your photos are simply not strong enough. The one in the hat is cute, but as a thumbnail I thought you were an orthodox Jew. You have to look at your own profile subjectively to see how others will view it — log out and then use the free search to see how your thumbnail photo appears.  Plus, it’s your side profile which means it should be a supplementary photo and not your main photo (other JDaters should remember this as well)!

The black and white photo is cute, and shows your great smile, but it’s also not a head-on photo (pardon the pun) which means it also should be delegated a supportive photo. And your only other photo shows you doing something active, which is great, except by wearing sunglasses and a hat, we literally can’t see any defining facial features. I strongly recommend you do the following:

  1. Find or take a photo of yourself looking straight on into the camera
  2. Add a full length photo. It doesn’t matter what “body style” you are, just that you are confident enough to include a photo of yourself in your profile.

The “In My Own Words” section is a bit sparse except for the “About Me” essay. I like what you wrote, but I would elaborate on the expression you quote in the beginning. If someone has to stop and think about a line and reread it a few times to grasp it, and then there’s no explanation to how you fit said quote, it becomes more of a distraction then anything else. The rest of your “About Me” is great! I like how you ask a question at the end — although I would limit it to one question (the second one) and leave it at that. You don’t necessarily have to expand upon the answers you have in the rest of this section, except for the section “My Perfect First Date.” That needs more than two words. None of the questions that JDate asks should be ignored or given the “easy” answer.

Finally, I would expand upon your age range a bit. Compromise between your current maximum age and ten years older than you. For you, that would mean 38 should be your max age.

In all, I think adding more photos which consistently and truly show your face, your body and your personality, will attract many more men who will do more than just click on your profile and move on because they probably are not even bothering to read what is overall a solidly-written profile.

Extreme Profile Makeover – “Marina”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Marina.”


Hi Marina,

I’m going to get right down to it — you need a profile NAME rather than using your member number. By not taking the time to use your creative juices to think of a moniker, you will not stand out among the masses! That was the first thing I noticed.

Then I noticed your very attractive pictures! Great job picking your profile photo, in particular! Add 1-2 more pictures to show even more consistency. People want to know you’re not just posting the only 3 photos you have where you look decent, so the more the merrier. Although attractive, you do look very different from photo 1 with your hair down to photo 2 with your hair pulled back. By adding a few more photos, you will only increase the chances of prospects contacting you!

The “In My Own Words” categories are filled out well enough. Although you should take some time to add a little bit more to each question, particularly “About Me” — and don’t forget make sure the grammar and punctuation are correct. Having someone else proofread your profile is the best way to get fresh eyes on these answers, and to ensure you’re not missing mistakes.

As for your preferences, I suggest upping your maximum age just a few years. However, I do think your age range is already much more realistic than most people. Complete the rest of the “Ideal Match” questions so that prospects know that they are, or aren’t, your type. Also, if you can answer the “What I Do” question under “Background,” it would be best. When people don’t list their career, potential prospects are suspicious of what you’re hiding. You don’t have to be super specific, but you should put the general field in which you work.

I know you’ve been on and off JDate for many years and have trouble getting to a second date. I think being more specific in what you want in a man in the “Ideal Match” section will allow potentials to weed themselves out so you are only approached by men who fit your preferences, and therefore you will have more of a chance of meeting someone you sync up with. You don’t have to be too specific if you want to attract a broad range of men (but that’s a good tactic), just be prepared to ask the right questions on those first dates so you can weed people out.

Extreme Profile Makeover — “Dateless”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers each Monday. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Dateless.”


Dear Dateless,

Upon first glance at your profile I would have a friend whose first language is English help you make fixes to the grammar and punctuation. What you have to say is good, but a reader could be distracted by the typos. Note to all JDaters: have a friend proofread your profile because even native English speakers will let a typo or two slip by!

Your path to converting to Judaism is very interesting and will be a great conversation piece for first dates — just be prepared to discuss it further. Also, you may want to give just a bit more detail about your divorce — namely, how long you’ve been divorced — so that prospects have a better idea as to your relationship history and current status.

Your main profile picture is great, but I would delete the one of you taking your photo in the mirror with your phone and instead add two more pictures of you smiling. I would also add another full length photo of you to show your body. An average of six photos is the right amount to show consistency: a mix of close-ups, full body and different angles, smiles and serious expressions, real and professional.

From looking at your profile, I can’t tell where you live. Make sure to fill out the questions properly because both places answer “where you’re from,” but neither says where you actually reside.

Also, answer a few of the multiple choice questions about  your “favorites” on the Likes and Interests page. The less a profile is completed, the less time someone will take to look at your profile.

Good luck!

Monday Makeover — Nice Jewish Boy

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers each Monday. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Nice Jewish Boy.”


Luckily I know what NJB stands for (Nice Jewish Boy), I hope girls do too because otherwise your JDate username is a bit confusing. Although tacking your city on to your username was a good call. Acronyms are not always smart to use in your screenname (or your “About Me” spiel) because some initials can be taken the wrong way, while others will leave people dumbfounded. Adding your city to your username is smart because a person’s location search parameters can be cast wide — and this will remind them where you live.

I really like your photos — lots of different angles and different lighting, plenty of close-ups with a few full body shots — good job with that. Since you have friends, especially girls, in your photos I would add the captions underneath to describe who it is in the photos with you. Beautiful women in men’s photos can be intimidating (and same goes for the reverse — handsome men in women’s photos) so let JDaters know if it’s your sister, or a friend’s wife.

Your “About Me” paragraph is simple and to the point. Since you mention traveling as a new love, I would update and add new places you’ve visited after each trip. Adding the ages of your niece and nephew is tricky because you will have to update as they age. Updating is good, however, because it adds an “updated” badge to your profile. Still, being slightly more generic (ie “preschool-age niece and a nephew who’s a toddler”) is better for these purposes. You can be more specific on your dates! I especially like how you ended your essay with a bit of humor. Women like a man who can make them laugh. Good job.

I recommend expanding upon the “I’m Looking for…” and “My Past Relationships” sections (even if it means just adding another sentence). Answers for these questions can be cliche, but you’re not giving the question enough credit by only writing a few words.

I appreciate that you’ve filled out nearly all your “Details” as you’d be surprised by how many people don’t! The only two that are blank ought to be completed. As for what you’ve selected for age range, I would impress upon you to add two years above your own age for your maximum age limit. Even if you would never (and never say never) date or marry a woman older than you, you can’t make assumptions based on just a year or two. Additionally, women who are viewing your profile will be encouraged that just as you are open to a woman 10 years younger than you, you are also open to a woman a few years older.

I hope these slight tweaks help! Good luck!

Monday Makeover: Is It Fate or Timing?

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I’ve signed up for JDate to put myself out there again to find a partnership that will lead to marriage and children (and hopefully last a lifetime)! I’ve been somewhat active on the site for the past month, and have sent a number of messages to folks, but have not received responses from anyone. That could just be fate, or timing; but I have to also consider the possibility that I’m not presenting myself in an optimal fashion! Please help.

-Is it Fate or Timing?


Dear Is it Fate or Timing?,

I’m happy to help. Sometimes not hearing back from a prospect is fate — she just wasn’t meant for you. Other times it is timing — don’t give up. Tweak your profile with my advice and hopefully fate and timing will align. Let’s get started:

  •  Photos:

You’ve got three great pictures, but you could use a 4th one that is also not a professional photo to show consistency and reality. The order is great, keep the candid color photo as your profile photo.

  • In Your Own Words:

In the “About Me” section I would delete your last paragraph. It supplies too much information and yet are all great conversation pieces for the first few dates with someone new.  Under “A Brief History of My Life” I would condense the information and delete the line “back in… for good!” since you also say you are willing to relocate. Maybe something more like: “Born in Northern California and raised in Southern California, I attended UCLA for undergrad and went east for law school in Boston before returning to the best, er, west coast. I love to go back to New England often and even became a loyal Red Sox fan, but Cali is where my heart is.” And with the “What I’m Looking For” section, try to describe the woman you’re looking for using words you won’t read on anyone else’s profile. Maybe try using either the first half or the second half of the paragraph, but both combined is a bit redundant and long-winded.

  • Preferences:

Make sure to answer all the questions, especially if you are “Willing to Relocate.” And I know you want to find a woman to have a family with, but I would increase your maximum age by a few years and for a few reasons. First, you don’t want to come off as misogynistic by capping the age of the women too young even though your intent has to do with fertility and second, you don’t want to eliminate some great women by just one or two years because plenty of women are having children into their 40s.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Monday Makeovers: Lacking Responses?

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I would greatly appreciate it if you took a look at my profile and gave me some suggestions. I’ve worked with a love mentor for two years and have reworked my profile. I’m an attractive woman, write well and am accomplished. I just don’t understand why I don’t get more hits.

I do all the things that are advised. I’m on JDate regularly and even tweak my profile often. Any thoughts, ideas, or suggestions? I have had some significant relationships (two in particular were with men I met on JDate). I want to meet my last special man!


Dear Lacking Responses,

You have a great screen name and lots of beautiful pictures showing your face very clearly. There are two photos (#6 & #7) which are basically repeats of number #2. I would delete those as they aren’t necessary. Otherwise, you did a great job with the profile photos! I especially like that you included ones with your daughters and grandchildren.

Your “About Me” spiel is very well written and straightforward about what you are offering a companion, and what you hope for in return. I think the second paragraph is bit much and can be overwhelming as you have already revealed plenty in the first paragraph. I would review that first paragraph one more time and see where you can edit it down as it can read as repetitive. You are using different adjectives to describe the same thing and you don’t want to lose the reader’s interest. Once you complete that task, then break it up into two paragraphs once again. Other JDaters should be sure they are not repeating the same ideas in their profile again and again as well!

Most of your other “In My Own Words” elements are concise and well-written. I would condense “The Coolest Places I’ve Visited” because it can come across wrong being that you’ve traveled the world. Plus, you can save this info for more conversation topics when you meet up with other JDaters in person. Something along the lines of “_________ was one of my favorites, but I have many and I’d love to share some of my more adventurous stories with you. I’ve been hiking different National Parks recently and can’t wait to explore our beautiful country with someone special.”

The same goes for “My Ideal Relationship” — condense the descriptiveness. Warmth, intimacy, joy, relationship, companionship, caring, nurturing, compatible, enrich, savor, enjoy, respect, and thrilled. If you read all those words in the span of four sentences, then you would be a bit thrown off as well, right? Trim it.

Finally, you should be proud of how great you look at your age and put your real age. Just as you don’t want to turn off men who make assumptions based on age, you shouldn’t do the same. Increase your maximum age limit a few years and be open to someone 10 years your junior.