Archive for the ‘Single Life’ Category

It is comical how differently men and women think.  Posing in your profile without a shirt (despite your eight pack) or with your sleek, new (leased) Porsche is NOT a turn on.  That said, admittedly, I have dated those persons – fortunately for us we met offline or the relationship would likely not have gotten off the ground.

Ladies, I know from our conversations that it may give you the heebie jeebies, but I have learned to try to be open and see beyond the photo…you may just find your perfect partner worth photographing.

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On a gorgeous spring-to-be day, I was out running along the museums and boat houses in Philadelphia.  I continued my workout going up the infamous “Rocky steps” with my iPod fortuitously playing “Eye of the Tiger.”  Cheesy? Absolutely, but pretty funny as this was my first occasion on the steps and they were flooded by tourists taking the obligatory photo re-enacting Rocky. After finishing my tenth rotation of the steps, I finally looked out at the snapshot that I’m sure is captured in any Philadelphia-based movie and sighed. Maybe it was the long-overdue sunshine…Maybe the scenery…but in the moment it was a reminder that life is pretty good and, as far as I am able to control, I have no regrets in life and love.  Maybe it was the endorphins or maybe the “wicked” weather, none the less, it’s just a reminder that life moves quicker than ever and to enjoy the moment.

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This is my mantra today, this week, shooting for this month, and so on…It won’t be easy, I’m a planner; the Type A, where itineraries, schedules and plans have a calming effect. Not to say that I’m not an impetuous gal at the same time. John Lennon sang to us in “Beautiful Boy,” that “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” I think forward thinking affects both genders equally in relationships but perhaps it manifests in different ways. The future is filled with enough routines and serious subjects, so skipping over being fun, carefree and living in the moment, hinders us, no? Don’t get me wrong, this won’t be easy for a trained lawyer, but being (and enjoying) in the moment is really ALL we have.

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Often I hear such cliché statements. You’ll meet “The One” when you are least looking for them. I appreciate the concept, but to negate that myth in a New York minute, Romeo has not circumvented my doorman and knocked randomly on my Manhattan apartment.

Secondly, when it is right, it should be easy.  Like forming an LLP (okay, so I’m a lawyer), relationships involve getting to know the players, their distinct personalities, what makes sense, and where compromise is needed.  Sure, in some rare instances Partnerships function smooth as silk but that is the exception rather than the rule.  The mantra “it should be easy” is a misnomer in my mind. Relationships and marriage (involving different opinions on finances, nookie, children and the like) are not easy topics. On top of that, men and women generally process things differently. There is no question that eventually bylaws are a necessary component to assist individuals who merge into a partnership. Bumps in the road, challenges, compromises, fights are all a part of the process. I would contend that your reaction and how you deal with such bumps is the more valid measure of success as opposed to whether the relationship is easy! That and as long as you are smiling a lot more than you are not…seems like a good basis for a solid corporation.

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There are times in life when being single has its advantages. For example, spending as much time as you want with friends, watching what you want to watch on television without any complaints, or eating a Lean Cuisine for dinner and not having to worry about what your other half may want for dinner.
There are also disadvantages. I’m sure many of us tend to think of those more than we do about the advantages. However, there are some self-soothing techniques that can help us all whether we are single or not.

• Go for a walk and enjoy the scenery
• Pet a cute furry animal
• Lie on the couch and do nothing
• Get a massage
• Call a friend
• Listen to music
• Meditate
• Do something for someone less fortunate than yourself
• Peruse JDate and look at all of the wonderful people that await

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So it’s been nearly a year since our initial journey through the twisted trysts, loves, and lies started, and I’ve enjoyed divulging every dirty detail to you all. Los Scandalous has been (and I’m grasping for just the “write” word here) educational, if anything. I learned that nine times out of ten the mysterious monsieurs met at various Hollyweird hotspots are here to act. They more often than not (contrary to popular belief) do not end the scene with said script, and their character’s colors are revealed through various dating adventures. I learned that if you’re from some small town you may have manners, but my city will swallow you whole without stopping to digest the situation. I’ve learned that dinner and a movie does not constitute date night. I’ve learned that when you are roped into some mundane movie night (for the umpteenth time) you should make sure to lo-jack your ride, so you can GPS your way back to the getaway vehicle you can all-too-easily lose in the Grove parking structure (not that I’m speaking from experience, of course). I’ve learned that sometimes when you DO happen to bust a blonde moment, it is often an unexpected opportunity to be rescued from the knight, in shining armor.

I’ve learned that more often than not the swift sweetheart is from point blank, Oklahoma and you’re right back where you started. Rockstars, actors, and hipsters are often all the same breed, and you have to try on several styles to see which works for you. (But hey, if the flannel shirt fits…) I’ve learned that the dinkiest of divebars (I’m talking where Converse count as couture) can be the most fun locales for you and your plus one. I’ve learned that your very best girlfriends really will be with you through thick and thin, and even when you change your persona to see just what works for you, they aren’t going to hit it and quit it like a boy (shouldn’t) but might. Think of your gf’s as the Ralph Lauren of people – a classic that never gets old, and is always in style. Flannel shirts might I add, will soon be out faster than a Jersey shore grenade. I’m pretty sure the best pick-up line is being comfortable in your own skin. (Or “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi I’m insert name here.” It’s a close call between the two.) Between all the “boyfriends” you’ve followed me over the canyon and through the The Hills with, it’s been one hell of a ride. Granted the ride sometimes moves at the speed of a special olympic hurdler but let’s blame that on the ever-unpredictable L.A. traffic.

I’ve learned that aside from your gf’s, you can ALWAYS rely on finding something at the Fred Segal and Nordstrom’s half yearly sales, and that there will be traffic on the 405 at any time during the day and/or night. I’d say there’s comfort in consistency, but really it’s just two aspirin waiting to happen. I learned that ER M.D.’s do not, in fact, resemble the McCast of Greys. What I have yet to learn is why girls listen to things like He’s Just Not That Into You and regard it as gospel. He’s just not that into you? Cool, kick Jo Shmo to the curb and move on to the next man. Time, ladies, stops for no (wo)man. It’s been an absolute adventure and I await many more to come in the following year as I give my regards to Broadway, Brooklyn, Austin and any other alluringly sweet city that holds the promise of something sin-sational.

Au Revoir dolls & dudes.

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With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, the question becomes, “How do we as singles get through the day without letting it get the best of us?” I know for myself, I am going to spend the day with some of my single friends.  We are going to have the ultimate girl day.  Junk food, shopping and chick flicks.
I think this particular day tends to bring out the all-or-nothing thinking in most people.  It is either you have someone special or you don’t. The way one approaches the day can make all of the difference.  You can chose to become pessimistic and think about the fact there isn’t a special someone around, or you can think about the good aspects of being single and look towards the future with optimism. Having faith, in my opinion, is a very important way of looking at things. When the time is right that special someone will be there.

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You know New Year’s resolutions are officially in pre-bikini season full swing when you can’t find a parking space easily at your gym. Now, let’s be clear that there are two kinds of gyms: there’s the gym you frequent to get into shape, and there’s the gym you attend when you’re ready to parade around town with the body you’ve sweated countless hours to achieve. The latter isn’t filled with elliptical seeking sweeties, but rather beachy-keen bimbettes that wouldn’t need plane-supplied flotation devices in the event of a mid-Atlantic crash. These cardio-kittens aren’t there to workout, that’s what their other gym is for! Rather they (like the men) are there to show off what their mama’s gave them in all-American Apparel that leaves nothing to the imagination. Welcome to Los Scandalous two months before swimsuit season. A land where protein shakes serve as sweet treats and calorie counting is a league of its own. When visiting this wild exhibit in the urban jungle, remember to keep your hands and feet on your own elliptical at all times, unless specifically invited by a trained aerobic handler. And please, don’t feed the models.

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Sometimes you take a little break from the dating life because it’s just too damn hard to find someone that crosses the ex off the list. This little sitch is amplified in L.A. where ex’s are often not just around the corner, but in the background, on various stations, movie channels, and upcoming movie trailers. So as hard as you try to kick the bad habit, you’re lured back into the web by the offered comfort of consistency. If iPhone could find an app to block said images from sight, I’d be more than willing to jump the Crackberry ship and become a full-fledged Mac. Since that hasn’t happened, I’ve decided to live all things Amish. There are no movie trailers in Amish country. Of course, there are no cars to make a quick getaway either, but I hear the horses are being supercharged, so that’s a plus

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New resolutions abound and generally for singletons this involves a renewed focus on fitness routines and their love lives.  Personally, I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions.  It is never a bad idea to reflect and make changes but shouldn’t these changes occur at the moment of recognition as opposed to Jan 1st?  Though, Harry (Billy Crystal) in When Harry Met Sally made his proclamation on New Year’s Eve, his words of honest vulnerability is heart melting. “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” I digress, I guess the point being is that rather than waiting for serendipity to happen the real power is to make the “choice” to make it happen whether on January 1st or any other time. “Choose” to play relationships out and see what develops rather than going on the continuous merry-go-round of dating. In any case, come January 1st, gyms are a lot fuller now with a lot of folks on the scene hoping to meet their lobster.  Here’s hoping that you build those buns of steel and, as for the merry-go-round of dating, you get off that ride as soon as possible.

Happy Resolutions and New Year to all MOTs.

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