Archive for the ‘Single Life’ Category

#TheSinglesProject

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Entertainment,Relationships,Single Life

#TheSinglesProject, Bravo! TV’s revolutionary show about singles dating in real-time with input from the Twitterverse, has become must-see TV.

The eligible bachelor and bachelorettes run the gamut of different “types” in the dating world right now. We have seen them date their status quo and then allow others — friends, family, and Twitter — weigh in on who they should date next. Most times the set-up fails miserably, but it is nonetheless interesting to observe who others think is right for each person. The best part about the show is seeing how the singles — Tabasum, Lee, Ericka, Joey, Brian, and Kerry — see themselves on TV and read about themselves on Twitter… and then make changes to how they each think and act.

If nothing else, the show has provided a unique microscope for which singles to examine their lives and make adjustments accordingly. Would you go on a show like this?


The End

by Aaron under JDate,Judaism,Online Dating,Rabbi,Relationships,Single Life

I’ve posted about a lot of things in the last year — mostly personal stories and experiences. Maybe you’ve read my blogs as a JDater, hoping to cure your singledom; maybe as a potential user seeing what this site is about; maybe as a friend who saw me post a link on Facebook; or even a friend-of-a-friend who saw me post about what being a girl is like online. Whatever led you here, to these words of mine, thank you for reading.

I’m leaving this blog, though not because I don’t like it. I just think my time here is done. I’m out of frustrations and things to write about dating that I or others haven’t already said. It’s time for someone else to share their insights. I’ve had a really great time writing about my experiences and hope the person who takes my place has a great time, too.

I want to leave you by actually giving you advice for once, though. I have a girlfriend now, which I guess was the point of getting on JDate in the first place. I don’t know what will happen to us in the future, but every day I’ve been with her has made me glad I signed up for a JDate account. We didn’t meet on here (I went through the rabbit hole of Jewish dating and we’ll just call JDate my gateway site), but through my ventures into online/long-distance dating, I found an incredible person who complements my lifestyle perfectly.

Dating this last year since starting to blog has been all over the place for me. It all started with a girl in LA bound for Arkansas, and then me traveling to Long Island for a girl, among a number of dates in between — both in Dallas and elsewhere. But I never tried the same thing twice, I was always looking for what wasn’t working and how I could fix it.

So, in a nutshell, this is my advice — your Bisheret isn’t just waiting for you like a lot of us like to believe. No one is just going to accept you for “who you are,” and that’s a good thing. We should always be looking to improve ourselves, whether it’s our bodies, our communication skills (in a profile or an email), or even our spiritual observance in a way that makes us fulfilled. I’ve taken on a number of journeys in the last year: from getting my MBA to growing Jewishly to finally dating the greatest girl I’ve ever been with in the greatest city I’ve ever lived in. Each journey is special in its own way, and none of them happened because I waited for someone to accept who I was.

That’s not to say  you should change everything about yourself. At the end of the day, I’m still just a Kosher cowboy who likes to smile and make friends. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t change my behaviors in tiny ways that were in my best interest. So I’ll close things where I began; it’s not easy out there, and no piece of advice from me will make it so. But every day, try to better yourself in some way. Let today be the day you sign up for JDate. If you’re on the site already, let today be the day you look up a new piece of advice on social skills (really better than any romantic advice in terms of attracting people), or let it be the day you try looking in a new area of the world for your Bisheret, or even the day you try to enhance your prospects by reaching out to a rabbi or friends. Someone is undoubtedly waiting out there for you, but you will not find each other until you take those steps, each and every day.

I wish each and every one of you the best of luck. Thank you for reading, and I hope your Bisheret and you find each other soon.


Being Needy vs Having Needs

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Relationships,Single Life

Everyone has needs when it comes to a relationship and some people have more than others. Some need to hear they are loved every day. Other people need love in the form of affection and touch; to them, actions speak louder than words. And yet others just need to know they can trust you and that’s enough for them.

Being needy is an entirely different thing. Being needy is needing to talk and text all day, every day and expecting your partner to know how you are feeling without telling them… at any given time. Being needy is depending upon someone to complete you, rather than complement you (and yes, being needy is depending upon someone to compliment you as well). Being needy is needing to be doing something, with someone, all the time. Being needy is jumping from relationship to relationship because you’re afraid of being alone. If any of those descriptions sound mildly familiar then try taking some time to yourself to reflect on your life and what’s really important.


Rejection Etiquette

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

Is there rejection etiquette? Whether you didn’t enjoy a first date, or after becoming sexually involved, or even after meeting the family… the way in which you decide to break things off changes. However, you cannot use the same approach with the first scenario as you do with the last. So what is the best course of action? Is an official rejection even necessary after just one date? Should you just ignore their calls? Or perhaps a quick text stating, “last night was nice, good luck” would be better. In that case, should you actually answer their call, but turn down the offer for another date?

Obviously the latter is best (and is good karma), but it’s also the bravest choice. All the other circumstances absolutely deserve some kind of communication as to why you are no longer interested in dating. You wouldn’t want to be the person on the other side of a rejection left wondering what happened. It’s not easy; in fact, it totally sucks. Still, honesty is generally the best policy unless it’s going to hurt someone’s feelings even more than the rejection itself. You can always simply say, “My feelings haven’t evolved the way I’d like them to, so I think it’s best we both move on and I give you the opportunity to find someone who will adore you the way you deserve.”

No matter how upset the rejected person becomes, don’t start hurling insults. Apologize again and let them know you wish them the best and move on. This is always easiest on the phone, but if you’ve gotten very serious, then an in-person explanation is more respectful. Just never reject someone via text after the 2nd date!


We’re Looking for NEW JBloggers!

by JDateAdministrator under JBloggers,JDate,Single Life

If selected, your very own blog will be published regularly right here on JBlog™ and you’ll receive a free JDate® subscription!

We’re looking for male and female writers with fun and fresh perspectives to share their exciting stories, tips and JDate experiences! If selected, in addition to a free subscription, you’ll get to regularly entertain hundreds of thousands of readers and receive a byline and exposure on JDate!

To become the next JBlogger, all you have to do is submit a 300-word writing sample about dating or a related topic, along with your name, JDate username, email address, phone number and member ID to jblog@jdate.com before September 15, 2014.


Giving Up on Giving a Guy a Chance

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Relationships,Single Life

Dear Tamar,

There’s this guy I met on JDate about a year ago and we went out for a while; even though he definitely saw a future with me, I never felt there was a future, so I broke it off. I dated a few guys since then, and although there was more chemistry, they didn’t treat me as well and there were lots of other issues. I keep thinking back to that first guy, and wonder if I should give him a second chance to see if the attraction grows. What do you think?

-Give a Guy a Chance?

__________________________________________________________________

Dear Give a Guy a Chance,

You can’t force attraction, but you should allow yourself to open up to things that feel different. That initial attraction is often lust, which can dissipate over time. Being treated well and having a relationship grow based on respect and commonalities can create a much deeper bond and attraction. But, if you’ve given it a fair shake and there’s just something missing, then it’s only fair to the both of you to break it off again.

Be honest and be kind — this man has now been vulnerable with you twice.


Men Lying About Their Age

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Single Life

Apparently there’s this new “trend” of men lying about their age! And not just by a year or two, but by four or five years! Even one year is bad, but putting yourself in a different bracket (late 30s vs early 30s) is inexcusable and unforgivable. What’s the point? If you meet someone you like, you’re just going to have to come clean eventually… and then what is she going to think of you knowing that you lied?!

A woman won’t care how old you are if you are a quality guy, but she will care if you aren’t honest! There’s no reason to fudge about your age; be confident that your personality and character will outshine your age.


Make a Plan

by Haley Plotnik under JDate,Judaism,Online Dating,Single Life

To everyone out there who is looking for love, success, and happiness: I urge you to learn from your past, be mindful in the present, and embrace the future with openness. Recently, I heard someone say, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

Don’t wait for tomorrow to start living your life. Every moment that passes is a moment that we’ll never see again in our life. As much as that is cheesy, I think it hits on the importance of now. Now is the time. Don’t wait to start your life until you’re 20 pounds thinner, you have a master’s degree, or your loved one passes away.

I often hear people say, “I wish I had achieved success/gotten married/had kids while (insert name of beloved relative here) was alive.” Well guess what? If you wait for life to smack you in the face, it eventually will. And you may be echoing similar sentiments. Today is the day. Not tomorrow or next week. Set measurable, achievable goals. Reach them. Build your confidence. Your mind and body are amazing tools that can be used for so many amazing purposes: whether that be productivity or laziness. If you want to be the world’s most dedicated couch potato, go for it. It doesn’t matter what you do. Make something of your life and believe in your ability to achieve your goals. Being passionate is personable. We all want something out of our life experiences.

Through my many dates, I think what makes people attractive to others is being passionate. My friends sometimes call it “living intensely.” Give yourself permission to take chances, be incorrect, fail, regroup, and try again. Living is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. Plan something great. Even if you fail, you’ll do a lot of living in the meantime.


Waiting to Become a JDate Member?

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

Waiting to become a JDate member? What are you waiting for? I know… you’re waiting until a few of those cute prospects view you multiple times… and until you get a few notifications that you have emails, which you can only read if you sign up… so you decide to join, again. But, this time you realize that buying a monthly membership every few months no longer makes sense… and you realize the savings of buying a long-term membership… and you realize you could tempt fate by getting the six month-er just to meet someone after three weeks.

Do it.

Tempt fate.

Consider it money well spent!


No More Dating Advice

by Aaron under Date Night,Relationships,Single Life

There’s not a lot of dating advice left in me — I’m in a relationship now, and it’s something I think less about these days. A lot of the advice I give is common sense. But really, the one life lesson (I’m starting to learn more of those) I always share is be ready for anything and throw your expectations aside.

“Living in New York, expect life to kick your butt,” people told me before leaving. I was ready. My butt was ready. But it didn’t happen. No, the only way life has come at me is that things have gone so well here that I’m staying! I may be jobless, but I’m also being allowed to get my MBA by December — all from the glory of New York. I made the jump to a place where things are vastly different, and I got an amazing girlfriend along with a wonderful adventure.

I realize that I’ve rubbed this in your face enough and that I’m in an extremely rare situation. But, whenever I sit down to write these blogs, only one thing keeps coming up for me — just keep growing and changing. Perhaps that’s why this will be one of my last blogs giving dating advice. I don’t know how much longer I’m good for advice, but I’m going to try to cover other things to help you be a more viable dating partner in my posts over the next few weeks. My advice may not be like what you will find on other dating sites, but that’s what will hopefully make it stand out.

When I got into writing for JDate, I was a graduate student hoping to share about my years of dating efforts. Now, I’m an out of work near-graduate, hoping to network my way to a job in New York. I think it’s no mistake the year I spent trying to get to New York by networking also led to an increase in my romantic opportunities. When you excel at being a person and getting to know others, romantic success is bound to follow.

Romance is obviously a big part of my life still, but I can’t wait to take you on the other part of my journey over this last year, the part that will stick with you long past your JDate days. I’ll leave you with a great quote from Never Eat Alone — “A networker isn’t looking to achieve a single successful union. Creating an enriching circle of trusted relationships requires one to be out there, in the mix, all the time.” I can’t wait to be a part of getting you used to that, and maybe even finding love along the way.