by PuraVida2009
under
JBloggers,
Relationships
An old friend reached out to me this week expressing he had always had a crush on me but felt the timing wasn’t right for one reason or another. But now, though normally he would be shy and not express himself, he is trying the “George” (Costanza fictional character from the sitcom Seinfeld) and doing the opposite. For me, I truly applaud this thinking/behavior. Why wouldn’t you say how you feel and what is on your mind? I get the whole “risk and rejection is not fun” theory. But, on one hand, you have the status quo which is apparently not where you want to be. Shaking that up by articulating your desires, can only change the scenario for the better (potentially a happily ever after) or, at a minimum, give you the information you need to not waste your time and move forward. That being said, and admittedly this is sexist comment, I’m not sure I would encourage the same forthrightness by my women friends. Despite the huge strides in the women’s movement, I believe there is a romantic ideal – call me traditional and old fashioned – that men do the pursuing and courting when it comes to romantic relationships. Women should flirt no doubt, but it is my experience that men (and their egos) generally give them enough of a “George” to go after so they aren’t at risk of letting him slip by.
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by GemsFromJen
under
JBloggers,
Online Dating,
Relationships
I have gotten several letters from JDaters inquiring about dating people who are divorced. What about the divorced daters out there? What are the guidelines, rules, and tips?
• Make sure you are over your ex before committing to a new relationship. If you think about your ex and still feel emotion, whether it is anger or sadness, chances are you haven’t moved on completely.
• Remember, the person/people you are dating might have questions/concerns about the divorce. Be honest, but only share when you feel ready.
• The person/people you are dating are not your ex. Comparisons are unfair.
• If you have children, only introduce them to the new person when the two of you have entered into a committed relationship. Anything else can cause your children confusion, anger and hurt. Remember, you are entitled to have a life, but children should come first.
• Lastly, enjoy yourself. Divorce is serious business and can be very draining. Give yourself permission to live life again. Staring over can be an exciting journey. Time does heal the wounds and second chances in love are more common than most people really think!
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by SweetLo
under
JBloggers,
Single Life
Dear Diary,
Going on day thirty-something of current crush and my prey seems to be moving with the speed of a Special Olympics hurdler. You’d think the slow pace would make it easier to pin my target, but no, instead it only serves as a form of torture that I thought they ruled as inhumane back in the Middle Ages. So in a land where I needed an actual translation for “taking things slow,” I found myself in a foreign territory where no amount of transliteration could explain the phrase. You may be thinking, ‘perhaps he’s just not that into you?’ I thought the same until evidence to the contrary had me enrolling in dating 101 faster than the new McLaren goes from 0-60. I feel like a rogue pinball bumping into obstacle after obstacle just trying not to lose. I’m holding steady (as she goes), tiptoeing around the flirtatious comments and wishful sexting, using all the strategy and concentration required for a drunken game of Jenga. The thrill of the chase is exciting, but the actual ability to entangle your prey in a web of ‘happily ever after’ is even more alluring. I guess the ‘happily ever after’ only works if the ‘once upon a time’ has an actual story to go with it though. Snow White bit the apple, and the bite was worth the price, so here’s to wishing, waiting, and hoping that the poison is worth it…
Always,
SweetLo
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by GemsFromJen
under
Date Night,
JBloggers
I met a great guy. We seemed to click on all levels. Our date was planned for 7:00. I had my getting ready routine planned down to the minute. Get home from work, shower, hair, make-up, cute new outfit, the works. At exactly 6:22, I was ready to go. I knew it would take me approximately 15 minutes to drive to the meeting place. I didn’t want to be early, but I had to account for LA traffic, ugh! I left, anticipation and excitement was in the air. This was going to be great, I just knew it, or so I thought. After waiting for my date and sitting alone at a restaurant for 45 minutes on a Saturday night I was furious! No phone call or text. He finally arrived and he was gorgeous to look at. He apologized and explained the traffic was horrific. I forgave him, had a great night and we planned to meet during the week.
Again, I planned my time to the minute. I arrived at the pre-arranged meeting place a few minutes early and you guessed it, I waited almost an hour this time. When he finally appeared he had one excuse after the other. I finally told him to stop with the explanations and just be honest. He finally admitted this was his downfall in life, he is always late! That was the last I saw of him. If there is one pet peeve of mine it is tardiness. There is a lot I can forgive, but not this. I understand things happen, but being chronically late raises a red flag. For those of us still looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, it is important to know what it is we are willing to look the other way on and what it is we are not willing to let go of. I know for me all it would do is cause frustration and, eventually, resentment. I’m hoping my next date is chronically on time – that would be great!
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by SweetLo
under
JBloggers,
Relationships
Sometimes you think you’re over someone. You take comfort in your current crush and roll with the punches. Then, you see pictures of your former fling formidably happy with someone else, and, suddenly, sipping endless amounts of Vicodin seems the best way to distract yourself from any other drug of choice. The question is, why are they happy when you’re ready to slit your wrists? And even the thought of stitching yourself up isn’t enough to hold you together when, clearly, you could have made him happier. So, if the only obstacle was a geographic formality, is there still hope? Is the one thing missing that grand (albeit expensive) aerial gesture? No, the fact of the matter is, if he wasn’t willing to fight for you – why fight for him? Instead, roll with the punches and submit whoever can’t keep up for three rounds. More than likely, they wanted to give in for a reason. Attribute that to your chick charm – or ability to intimidate. Either way, you won the match….
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