Twenty-something Trivialties

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

At what age do you need to start taking dating more seriously? At what age should you stop dating around and start only dating Jews? Some people have always only dated Jews while others wait until they’re closer to what they consider to be optimal marrying age (30 is a common cut-off age). Some will date whomever they please in college but get serious about religion and other qualities afterwards. For me, it was right around 25 when something ‘clicked’ and I no longer wanted to, well, waste my time with goys. Men tend to see the light a little later, as they tend to mature later in general. Just because you don’t plan on getting married until you’re 30, doesn’t mean you won’t meet someone sooner. Life happens when you’re busy making plans.

The X-Factor

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under Relationships,Single Life

If you are a single 30-something, there is no question that there have been at least a couple false starts and hopes crushed in your lifetime so far. Since you end up with one partner (except maybe in some parts of Utah), what happens to the other false beginnings?  Since you have decided a romantic future is not in the cards, now what?  Is it possible that exes really can develop a genuine, platonic friendship?

I spent a couple of hours frolicking in Central Park this weekend with a recent ex who I see maybe twice a year as he lives on the West coast.  Without fail, when we have a reunion, our connection is easy and natural, even after months apart. As I recognize it is a rarity, I am left feeling truly blessed to have this comfort of familiarity that comes from knowing someone so well and the subsequent connection.

It seems to me, that in most former relationships, you respected and valued your ex’s character and other redeeming qualities (besides the physical).  Assuming the relationship was honest, communicative and both parties understood the reasoning behind the demise of the romantic portion, why can’t the platonic connection supersede?  Although I believe the underlying attraction never completely fades, why can’t both parties genuinely say, ‘Since you are not going to end up with me, I want you to be happy and find that happiness with someone else,’ and mean it? I think a friendship is not only possible, but can turn out to be stronger than you imagined, filled with selfless love.