Third Dates the Charm

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I have had two dates with someone I met on JDate and the third is coming up. I really like this person and he seems to like me. Any advice for the third date?

-Third Dates the Charm?


Dear Third Dates The Charm,

Exciting! The third date can be a major turning point. No, you don’t have to have sex. Still, you’ve gotten past the first and second dates which means you are now officially “dating.”

Now that you are over the 2nd date hump, you can take some pressure off wondering if he likes you because — guess what? He does! It doesn’t mean you have to give it up, or that you should start passing gas at the dinner table, but you can relax your shoulders and stop doubting yourself. You can also start accepting dates with him at the last minute and you need to require him to take you to a formal dinner.

At the end of the third date you can invite your date to your house for a home-cooked meal. On the third date you still want to be your best self, but you can also open up a little bit more and show your date that you’re not perfect, you have faults and you’re normal. You can share embarrassing stories, failures and your odd (but fun) quirks. You get to be real. But you get to do so knowing that you’re in a new relationship that has already passed the first two tests, and now you’re building a foundation to move forward. Good luck and let me know how it progresses!

3rd Date Rule

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Do you follow the 3rd date rule? You know, the one where you have sex if/when the 3rd date is successful? Why the 3rd date? Well, most dates end after the 1st date. Most people will tell you they have gone on dozens of 1st dates but just a few 2nd dates. Following that pattern, it would take a lot of promise to reach the 3rd date. And if that is successful, well then, the pressure is on to consummate the relationship.

It doesn’t matter your age or sexual experience – DO NOT feel obligated to have sex just because you reached the 3rd date. It may be a good idea to not have sex until then, but a certain number of dates does not sex make. If you like the person and are hoping for it to turn into something serious then it would be smart to wait until after you’ve had “The Talk” and are fully committed before having sex (which could then possibly be referred to as “making love”). If you know the date isn’t going to turn into anything, but there is mad chemistry, well, it’s your decision to make about whether or not you want to make whoopie. Be smart – and safe – about your choice.