The longer you wait to snap out of your funk, the harder it’s going to be to get back into the dating scene. Your dating skills will get rusty and your attitude – which just recovered – will turn negative once again. Sometimes you have to take a step back, everyone does, but don’t stay out of the game for too long. You don’t want to get to the point where you are dreading going to events because you assume it’s going to be the same old-same old. You’ve skipped a few, now jump back in! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you’re not going to meet your Beshert sitting at home on your couch every night. But, of course, some nights are okay because you’ll be logged on to JDate, right?
I recently attended a local JDate event to people watch and see if people knew how to market themselves without a computer screen separating them from reality. Sad to say, I was disappointed. Whether it means looking your best, putting a smile on your face, thinking about what you’re saying before you say it, or even how your nametag reads, everything counts and many people were failing on numerous levels.
Sometimes it’s general attitude. A few individual’s body language was so negative – arms crossed, shoulders hunched, sour look – that there was no way they were going to be approached. There were wallflowers left and right, people wandering through the crowd looking lost, others sitting down alone. You shouldn’t be ashamed to be at a JDate event because guess what? The people you’re meeting are there too! When you sign up for a JDate event, it’s time to throw caution to the wind, put yourself out there, lower any walls and find yourself some possible love interests.
Self-promoting is not an easy thing to do. We are not raised to be arrogant but, rather, humble yet confident so to talk about how great we are, how popular, how funny, how successful, how smart, how fabulous and so on is not natural. However, if you’re going to a JDate event then you gotta do it. You need to look your best, be outgoing yet natural, and not seem too desperate all at the same time.
The best thing about JDate events is that you should feel an instant kinship with everyone there and draw instant comfort from that. Everyone there is there for the same reason – to meet someone Jewish. Try to enjoy the opportunity of having hundreds of local Jewish singles in the same place at the same time with the same motivation.
More to come about what people show up looking like at the events in a few days.