Simple Ways for Relationship Success

by Adam under Date Night,JBloggers,JDate,Relationships,Success Stories

I have been fortunate in both Dallas and Austin to be friends with two long-term couples. Both have been together a long time (3+ years) with the Austin couple set to have their first child in March. They are two seemingly low-maintenance couples who find constant joy in being around each other no matter the circumstance. Below is a list of observations that I’ve seen from both couples, things that can be easily translatable to your own love life.

1. Dallas couple: After every time they hung out in the getting-to-know-you stage of their relationship, the male always texted “I had a great time! Can’t wait to see you soon!” It was something simple, yet something that resonated with his girlfriend even to this day. This might give away a dating secret of mine, but its something that I’ve copied to an extent, as it’s a simple, yet far-reaching gesture.
2. Austin couple- I happen to be in a leadership group with them, and what I notice is touch. Not PDA, not ridiculous hand-holding, but a simple touch on the back when getting up, or a tap on the leg when in a conversation. It’s not overt, but a mechanism that still indicates affection without being too teenage-like.
3. Dallas/Austin couple- Both couples are able to tease each other, even in the public sphere. Once again, there’s a huge a difference between making fun of someone maliciously and teasing, but the two couples understand and are ok with their faults enough to make light of them in front of others.
4. Dallas/Austin couple- While both couples absolutely adore each other, they also give each other space. The girl in Dallas is one of my best friends, but there’s just something about the idea of “guy time”, as she encourages her boyfriend to go watch the game with his guy friends, talking about guy things, as she goes shopping and watches reality TV with her friends. Yes, my Dallas buddy incessantly texts her while he is watching the game, but there’s still that idea of “doing your own thing”, allowing both people in the relationship to have some sort of independence.

Follow these simple guidelines and you will probably have the same productive relationship that these two couples have enjoyed.


Live from My Younger Brother’s Twin Bed

by Adam under Relationships

Tamar had an interesting post last week, called “Want to Attract a Rich Man?” Obviously, when every girl is growing up, they dream of having the lavish wedding, with Disney Princesses, and a pizza buffet (wait, maybe that’s just me), complete with a Prince Charming of a husband who might bear slight semblance to Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

So, say it’s a Tuesday night, and you’re out to dinner with a great guy. This guy wants to share has hopes and dreams with you, opens the door for you, wears freshly pressed clothes, and even remembered which Real Housewives city you enjoyed most. But then, as you end the date… he drops the bomb: “I’m unemployed.”

How do you deal with that?

In surveying a few of my friends, most do not want to date the unemployed. Around 75 percent say the stigma involved with being unemployed is just too much.

However, one of my friends differs. She says, “It depends. Why is he unemployed? Is he actively seeking employment? Does he have a business plan? Did he go to college?”

She continues though, “There’s always the potential that this person could move away. Do you want to uproot your life, especially in the event that this person becomes unemployed… again?”

Here’s a different take on it: Does it matter your age unemployment-wise? Is the stigma worse for a 40 or 50 year-old than it is for a 20-something? When is the appropriate time to talk about someone’s employment status?

The city I live in, Austin, Texas, is known as a startup-friendly city. Naturally, a wide variety of people with great ideas, but not necessarily funding, roam the city searching for a way to grow their business. Do they have success with dating? Some do. Is it capable of lasting long-term? That’s the question many entrepreneurs face, and the question many women ask themselves when going out with them. These guys aren’t unemployed, but they don’t have cash coming in… for now.

This begets the million dollar question… is dating an unemployed man… a bad thing?


Apologizing

by JeremySpoke under Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

A few (four) years ago, I was not in a good place.  I was living in Austin, TX, and doing badly in school.  After one of my obligatory sleep sessions, where I slept anywhere between ten and forty hours at a time, my friend came in and asked if I wanted a tattoo.  Of course I didn’t want a tattoo.  Who deliberately wants a tattoo?  Seriously, even people with tattoos don’t want a tattoo.  But back then I wasn’t myself, so I answered, “Absolutely!”  We got to the tattoo parlor before I woke up completely. In fact, I didn’t fully wake until I felt a hot needle piercing my skin, and saw blood running down my arm.  Apparently I was in the middle of getting a tattoo; one of many life mistakes that I have made.

The tattoo design that I decided on while half asleep and fully medicated was the sentence, “i’m sorry”.  That’s right. I didn’t even have the decency to capitalize the first letter or properly end it with a period.  At the time, I had a tendency to say “I’m sorry” a lot.  My self-consciousness was high, and I often felt guilty for things that were nowhere near my fault.  The obvious remedy for this was a tattoo.  Any psychiatrist or licensed tattoo artist can tell you that.

My friends decided that anytime I felt the urge to say “I’m sorry” I should lift up my sleeve and show the other party my tattoo.  While this method is sound in theory, in practice it is marred by two obstacles.  First, in any environment with dark lighting, or no lighting, the second party would not be able to read my arm.  Second, I didn’t think about the amount of hair that I would have accumulated on my upper arm by age twenty six.  Today, the tattoo looks no different than any other ridiculously hairy arm.

Self-consciousness can easily be detected by women.  This has always been a big problem for me.  Aside from my inclination to apologize for everything, G-d has also conveniently given me overactive sweat glands and an overdose of misplaced guilt.  In addition, I have given myself a ridiculous tattoo that is now covered in years of hair.


Everything is Bigger in Texas

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under Date Night,Entertainment,Relationships,Single Life

I just spent several days in Texas … first timer… like Dorothy, it just didn’t seem like I was in Manhattan anymore (Toto). Admittedly, I never watched Dallas in the 80′s and “Who shot JR?” didn’t compare to the World Cup… But during my weekend visit, it was quite obvious things were very different in Texas. Of course, as I plopped myself down at a dive bbq bar in Austin the first man I met was from no other than Manhattan (Chelsea). Go figure…crushing the Southern fantasy. Luckily, the southern drawl bartender who wants to be an actor kept the evening entertaining.

Throughout the weekend I instantly recognized the southern charm and gentlemanly manners every which way I turned. Chairs were pulled out for me at every turn, and that was just the beginning! Being gentlemanly and treating females like ladies is obviously mandatory in this state. It’s big, something I think I can easily get used to…and who am I kidding?!?! The accents were cute too!