When the Ratio of Writing About Dating : Actually Dating Becomes Embarrassing

by JeremySpoke under JDate,Online Dating

I have written about dating for JDate for about a year and a half. This comes out to roughly 150 individual posts that I have penned. I have been dating in real life for about ten years. This comes ouy to roughly 3 dates (depending on whether that blind date that said she was going to the restroom and never came back counts as a date). Based on these rough statistics, I should never be allowed to write about dating for a general audience. That would be like if a guy wrote an instruction manual on aviation after having seen Top Gun twice while drunk, which I definitely have.

I pray that nobody actually reads my posts for practical dating advice. There are genuine resources for this, including any other writer for this blog, Wikipedia, NBA.com, etc. The best resource, it seems though, is failure. Of course, I have been on slightly more than three dates in my life. All of them eventually ended in failure. If just one of them had ended in success, I would be married. After every failed date, I usually learned something important. For example, after the blind date when the woman went to the restroom and never came back, I learned that after four hours away, your date is probably not returning. After the evening when my date started making out with the guy sitting next to me at the bar, I learned that I should probably make sure that a woman is not married before formally asking her on a date.

In order to be validated, I have to go on a lot of dates. Either that, or I have to stop writing. I am not going to stop writing, because it makes me happy, and it’s the only thing that outweighs all of the depression of failed relationships. If you dislike my posts, I propose to you a challenge: Find me a girlfriend. It’s the only way to get me to stop posting here. I would start by browsing JDate. Once you’ve exhausted all of the contestants in Houston, you still have an entire world of women to introduce to me! Talk me up! Tell them about that 800 I made on the math section of the SAT in 2001. Tell them about my impeccable hygiene. Those two facts are both mostly true.

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The Existential Dater

by JeremySpoke under JBloggers,JDate,Online Dating,Relationships

I have decided to implement a new rule henceforth. Here it is: Never tell a girl whom you’re on a date with that you’re a blogger for JDate. This rule applies pretty much only to me, as I am sure the expert bloggers are already happily married. As I ate my non-Subway® fajitas on another date that was destined to end in sadness, I mentioned, in the smoothest way possible, that not only does JDate have a blog, but that I am a writer for the blog. Though reactions are usually positive, I never really thought that they may be completely fake.

Imagine hearing, while on a date, that the person you’re on a date with writes regularly about dating. The first question that should pop-up into any normal brain would fall along the lines of “Why isn’t this guy married?” The answer to that is simple: I know nothing about dating. So after I told her that I’m a JDate blogger, everything went downhill and climaxed in an awkward text I will have received the next day saying that she’d love to be friends with me.

So what if the guy you’re currently on a date with tells you that he’s a JDate blogger? Do not let him go! He is lonely and sad and needs companionship. He feels weird writing about dating while simultaneously drowning in mediocrity. He has good qualities that might take more than a date for you to realize. He was once on the cover of an international magazine! He did well on the SAT!

I actually am quite happy. I  just would like the camaraderie of a nice girl. Don’t cry for me, I recently received a free computer!