The Continued Pursuit Of Balance

by RollingStone9862 under JBloggers,JDate,Online Dating,Relationships

As a blogger for JDate I certainly have no problems expressing my opinions on the virtues of online dating. During the time that I’ve been on the site I have benefitted greatly from how it provides a forum to meet people and get to know each other, as well as making dating easier for people who are very busy or don’t thrive in the bar scene. In addition to those reasons, and others I’ve talked about in past blogs, I can honestly say that I’ve had a very good experience with online dating. Even though I was already sold on the online dating experience, recently I discovered yet another reason why it is such a great option for me.

Last week our team embarked on a week and a half long road trip (for those of you who don’t know, I’m a college basketball coach) to play games in Utah, California and Texas. In past seasons I would have completely disregarded my social life and been forced to focus solely on my job since it’s difficult to meet women on the road. However, since I can meet women online no matter where I am, on this current road trip I have continued to be active online emailing and chatting with women I am interested in.

Furthermore I have continued to try to make plans for when we get back from our trip so, in actuality, because of online dating, I have continued to be able to try to meet women in spite on my being across the country for work. Just like when I talk to women while sitting on my couch at home in Chicago there’s no guarantee that I’ll go out with anyone I talk with while I’m on the road, but at least I am continuing to be social and trying to date. As someone who is constantly trying to achieve a balance between their personal and professional life, I am grateful for online dating since it has once again provided with me the opportunity to continue that pursuit where in the past I would have conceded all my focus and energy toward my job.


Throw out the lists

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under JDate,Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

Naturally, we are drawn to a specific physical look: either the dark haired exotic look or the California blond.  And a specific persona as well: Either the charismatic charmer or perhaps the more aloof, mysterious type. If we date our specific type time and time again and it doesn’t work…what does that tell us?   No doubt familiarity breeds comfort but I believe it was Albert Einstein who told us “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.   A friend told me that when he decided his then girlfriend would be his future wife that she was everything he needed but not what he “thought” he wanted.  She didn’t fit the list.  She was 3 years older and not what he imagined.  But bottom line, she elevated him to becoming a better self, she made him smile and life was good.  Enough said.

With the ability to continuously click, cyber dating perpetuates the list mentality.  I’m at fault here.  There definitely need to be some basic fundamental similarities such as the desire (or lack of) to have children, similar religious commitments and lifestyles, and the like.  But putting that aside means not going on a date with someone who is bald when you preferred thick curly hair or a woman who is several years older than your 30 year old cut off really serving you the best outcome.  Sometimes finding what you need can come in mysterious packages.  All I’m saying (note to self) is keep an open mind, you may be wonderfully surprised.


California Dreamin…

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under JBloggers,Single Life

Santa Monica is one of my favorite places.  The ocean, the weather, life is grand as a visitor.  I’m at peace and in my happy place.  Sometimes I just wish I could rewind and get back there and its potential.


If You Want To Play…

by SweetLo under JBloggers,Single Life

You know those nights? The nights you can’t remember with friends you’ll never forget? And no matter what your vice of choice is to make the seven deadly sins more appealing, you end up trying to erase the little parts of the night you can piece together. Unfortunately for you, in this age of great technology, your brain has adapted to the DVR mentality, and you watch scenes unfold like a bad rerun you can’t erase. All in all, was the sin worth spending the following day in hell? Of course, so long as you indulge in moderation, right? But then again, in California where less is almost never more- moderation is a term that’s almost extinct. So, maintain the modest mentality and indulge every so often. But just remember, if you want to play- you’ll most certainly have to pay.


Bros From Different Area codes

by SweetLo under Date Night,JBloggers,Relationships,Single Life

I have this thing about dating dudes from California. Sexperience has proven that L.A. dudes are too busy scamming on their next target, or too career focused in their twenties to play late on a school night. Occupational hazard? Sure, we’ll go with that. Luckily for me, most gents from Los Scandalous move here to make it in the big bad world of the industry! It’s like the universe understands my needs and wants and is flooding my city with a myriad of male options (and since, unlike NYC, we can’t order any type of cuisine at all hours of the night, I will settle for picking designer dudes). So far, I’ve dated dudes hailing from (in no geographical order,) Colorado, Montana, South Dakota, Georgia, New York, Pennsylvania and Virginia (and lets include Canada just for fun).

Now, math was never my best subject, but I’m pretty sure seven states down means I have forty-three to go – and then plus the additional provinces (not to mention three territories offered by Canada for my shopping needs) I should plan on finding a great guy by 2037. Really, it’s like I’m pacing myself. After all, this is a marathon – not a sprint, girls! I’m a teeny bit nervous about dudes from Texas, but I’m thinking SXSW Music Festival would be a great first date. I now venture out with the girls over the hill and through the canyon and expect to meet bros from various area codes, but sometimes you find the occasional L.A. born and raised boy, and when you meet one in Hollyweird it’s pretty much confirmation that hell hath frozen over. Dates from different states serve simply as a process of elimination and a kick-ass lesson in cross country etiquette!

 We may love the Seth Cohen a la The OC type, but you can’t beat Southern hospitality, or small town charm, or Canadian manners. Really, I’m just waiting until the Internet catches onto the phenomenon and picking out designer dudes is as popular a practice as ordering custom kids, or cuisine at all hours of the night (and in the comfort of your home at that!). So listen to Phantom Planet and follow in step potential boytoys hoping to star on the silver screen, “California Here We Come” can be the new male mantra! You may not score a part as the star in the next cinematic masterpiece, but you could wind up as somebody’s leading man.


Beachy-keen

by SweetLo under JBloggers,JDate,Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

The dating scene in uber sunny So Cal is great for a million different reasons, namely the variety of options it offers its chic inhabitants when it comes to courting. This week, I suggest taking a break from those haute Hollywood nights and heading over the canyon and straight to the beach! Just because this swine flu sitch has utterly cramped my would-be sun-soaked Cancun extravaganza, does not mean it will keep me from enjoying a little fun in the sun. Come hell or high water, I am getting a tan this summer and I am trading in my porcelain persona for a not exactly redder is better type deal, thanks to industrial strength SPF. One of my fave parts about California is our thousands of hideaway beaches begging locals only to come and bask in the often too strong but oh-so-tempting UVA. Just make sure you and your date, or friends, stock up on the post excursion aloe, because getting high on sun stroke is a less then likely way to score a second date with your little beach bunny. See you at…well, I’m not giving away my favorite place to frequent, so find your own! I do promise a beachy-keen time, where the people watching alone is incentive enough- of course, that holds true for almost every Los Angeles locale.


It Would Have Been Enough…

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under JDate,Relationships

Over a year ago, fresh out of a long distance relationship with no holiday plans, I decided to give the JDate Puerto Rico trip a shot. Since I had never been to Puerto Rico and I love salsa and Latin influences, I figured how bad could lying on the beach in 80 degree weather with some MOTs be? Let’s just say I had low expectations.

Impetuously, I boarded the plane for Puerto Rico. On the first night, there was a big meet and greet dinner where a sweet, attractive, successful guy named David approached me. After several minutes of flirtatious banter, I was grinning…until he mentioned he was from California. Having just ended a bicoastal relationship, “LA David” was the last thing I was looking for – I wrote him off as “GU”– Geographically Undesirable.

The following day, as I met many new friends, I engaged in a variety of conversations, including a debate about the merits of the best baseball teams (White Sox, of course). My newest girlfriend was bewildered by my devotion to the White Sox, especially because her friend David (my flirting partner from the previous night) had expressed the same devotion and connection to the team. Based on some key elements of our conversation, she suggested David and I further get to know each other. Her reasoning?  “You are RELATED.” “Huh? I think I know who my family is.”  Well, apparently, I was wrong. It turns out, David was a third cousin I didn’t even know existed!

Fortunately, the upside was at that particular moment in time, I wasn’t open to long distance and didn’t even consider the possibility of David (in that light). The other upside? I met someone who has not only become a great friend, but someone special in my life that is part of my family tree.

Having 80 degree weather lying on the beaches with some salsa action Would Have Been Enough… But I was blessed and ended up meeting an amazing friend and cousin who I plan on having in my life for years to come.