From Texting to Reality

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

An interesting new show called The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce aired an episode recently about the main character and a man she was crushing on who were flirting via text for a long time. When they finally went out on a date there was conversation, but the chemistry was not there. He spoke when she wanted him to stop (during sex) and she spoke when he needed quiet (immediately after waking up), plus their kissing didn’t align and the sex was bad.

Therein lies the reason I say NOT to text before dating. You don’t know enough about each other and you put pressure on the first date to be as great in person as it is via SMS. You are setting unrealistic expectations. People can be very witty when they have time to compose a response. People can be very flirty from behind a keyboard when no one can see them blushing.

My advice has always been and continues to be: once you meet (on JDate, in person, or some other way), make plans and go on your first date as soon as possible. Keep the momentum going without the use of text messaging — except to possibly say that you are looking forward to that evening, or that you are running two minutes behind.


Love at First JDate: Should You Judge a “Book” by Their Text Message?

by JenG under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating

The step after answering a couple of messages online, and the step before actually meeting a person – in person – is texting. If you’re lucky, it’s a phone call. But that rarely happens, these days. But sometimes, I find, those first text message interactions can make or break your final decision regarding whether or not to go on a date with that person. Should it? Should you judge someone by the frequency of their text messages? Or what they are saying? Or should you remember that people act differently in person than they do when they are behind a screen?

  • Do: Communicate with the person, whether via text or phone before meeting them. This will help you get to know them a bit more, and ensure your safety! Make sure this does not drag on for weeks – you still want to have things to learn about each other in person!
  • Don’t: Go out with the person if they make you feel uncomfortable over text. If there are red flags popping up, then listen to them! Don’t ignore your gut. Ever.

Say hi to Jen Glantz: @tthingsilearned


Respect the Text

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Single Life

Enough recent stories made me realize that everyone needs a reminder not to text before you are seriously dating someone… and especially not before your first date!

Unless you are texting to confirm the date or to say you’re running a few minutes late, do not text conversational or abstract things until at least after the third date! Your date does not want — or need — to know that you are on your way to the gym, or getting your haircut, or watching TV, or anything else before you’ve even met for the first time. Lay off the texting people!

Less is more before a first date; it creates a sense of mystery and allows you to build up excitement and anticipation, which are the emotions you want to experience before a first date!