Love At First JDate: Telephone Talk

by JenG under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

There used to be a time when we were all not so scared of using the telephone.

Do you remember the days when you used to have your best friend’s phone number memorized? Or how you’d beam with excitement and your tummy would swarm with nervous butterflies when your mom would shout from the downstairs corridor, “Jennifer, there’s someone on the telephone for you.”

Today, I have friends that don’t even know their significant other’s phone number by heart. While they do know their Twitter handle or their Instagram name, that won’t help them one bit if they were to be stranded somewhere, face-to-face with a payphone. They’d only be able to communicate by typing a message in 140 characters, or less.

With the cold weather making us want to hide underneath a blanket (note: if you live in Florida, or somewhere else tropical, that blanket has holes and those holes are nicely filled in with sunshine—so enjoy!), it’s often difficult to muster up the amount of clothing and energy required to leave the heat that radiates from between our couch cushions to attend a first date. And if we do make that first move, we often spend the first couple of “getting to know you” minutes defrosting, or like me on my most recent first date, dealing with an unattractive case of a nonstop running nose.

How about breaking the ice (until summer time can do that for us) with a preliminary get-to-know-you phone call-date before meeting in person?

Do: Phone your new friend during appropriate hours. No one appreciates an energetic “HELLO, I’m Jen!” as their early morning wake-up call at the dreadful hour of 8am, or as a late night booty call at the lazy-eyed hour of 11pm. If you’re going to make the move of dancing your fingers on the keypad, do it at a respectable hour.

Don’t: Stray away from rehearsed “about me” speeches, or a set of designated job-like interview questions. On the phone, you should give off an inherently relaxed tone, as if you were having a conversation with someone in person. Carry a casual and flowing conversation, taking a deep breath during natural pauses and creating an infrastructure that will be easy to build on top of once you meet up in person.

Read more of Jen Glantz here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com


Hollywood Yenta Roundup: Gwyneth Paltrow, Amanda Bynes and Lauren Miller…

by JDateAdministrator under Entertainment,Judaism,News

1. Gwyneth Paltrow Stands up to Cancer

Gwyneth Paltrow stood up to cancer this week when she produced the star-studded telethon, Stand Up 2 Cancer. The A-List actress says she got a wake-up call when she lost her father, Jewish director-producer Bruce Paltrow, to cancer a decade ago.

“When my father was diagnosed with cancer, it really changed the way that I lived – it changed my whole lifestyle,” Paltrow, who executive produced the multi-network Stand Up 2 Cancer broadcast last Friday night, told People magazine. “I completely changed my diet, and I got very serious about exercising and about exposure to toxins.”

Remembering her father (who produced television series like St. Elsewhere and directed his daughter in the 2000 film Duets) by producing the telecast turned out to be an emotional experience for Paltrow. “I definitely feel his presence,” the actress said. “And I think he would be really happy that I’m here tonight doing this and trying to spare other people from what he went through.”

 

2. Amanda Bynes in a Bind

After a rough few months, Amanda Bynes is facing more legal trouble. The Jewish actress is facing a drunken driving charge, plus two new hit-and-run charges filed this week (officials say these separate accidents both took place in the last six months). To top it all off, the star has now had her driver’s license suspended this week, according to the Los Angeles Times.

If convicted, Bynes faces up to one year in jail. Her arraignment is scheduled for September 27 in Van Nuys, California. Following her initial DUI charge, Bynes Tweeted President Obama, saying, “Hey @BarackObama… I don’t drink. Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don’t hit and run. The end.” That Tweet has since been removed!

 

3. For a Good Time, Call Lauren Miller

Jewish actress and screenwriter, Lauren Miller, is debuting her new film this month, For a Good Time, Call. The actress (who is married to fellow Jewish thespian, Seth Rogen) wrote the film with her longtime friend, Katie Anne Naylon.

The comedy is based on the real-life escapades of Miller and Naylon. In the film, two former college frenemies (played by Miller and Jewish actress, Ari Graynor) move into a fabulous Gramercy Park apartment, and promptly start a phone sex line together in order to make ends meet. Reviews are mixed on whether or not this film is actually a good time, but we’ll let you make the call!


Let’s Just Say, “I’ll Be In Touch”

by RollingStone9862 under Relationships

After a date with a woman that I’d like to go out with again I always instinctively say, as we are parting, “I’ll call you.” But I never do.  Normally, if my intentions are not to go out with a woman again, I won’t say anything so as not to lead her on. Instead, I act ambiguously if I get the sense that she wants to go out again.

Unfortunately, pretty much every time I’ve uttered the phrase “I’ll call you” I’ve been lying. You see, I never call women, and come to think I don’t really call anyone, therefore what I should honestly be saying to women after dates is “I’ll text you” because that is really the primary form of communication that I currently use.

However, recently I’ve gotten a little sick of always corresponding via text message since it’s so impersonal, and have decided to begin a calling campaign to try to alter my ways. While sending a text message when you are leaving work, or to say that you are running late ,is completely fine in my book, I don’t entirely like the idea of only communicating with people via text message when we aren’t together.

Recently I went out on two dates with a woman but, due to our conflicting schedules, we are in the middle of waiting two weeks before we go out on our third. During the first week we texted a few times during the day; however, with so long in between seeing each other I think that calling her and chatting for a little while this week would be a good idea. Even though it’s been a while since I called a woman I was seeing I’m optimistic that, in spite of being out of practice, I’ll be able to brush off the rust and we’ll have a pleasant first phone conversation.


The age old question – How long do I wait to call?

by jpompey under Online Dating,Single Life

She says one day! He says two days! That guy says five days! And I want to call her right now!

It’s the age-old question:  How long do us guys have to wait before actually calling the women that we just had a date with?

Let’s face it; we don’t often meet somebody that we are highly interested in calling.  Finding the perfect match is tough.  It’s very rare to go out on a date, hit it off, and daydream about all the happiness that this person may bring us.  Maybe that’s what makes us guys stress all the more when we do finally find someone we want to call.

As the legendary Vince Vaughn once said in Swingers (a must see for single guys out there just getting out of a relationship), “Call too soon and you just might scare off a beautiful baby that’s ready to party.”  We certainly don’t want to look desperate or too needy, as this is always a turn off for women.

On the other hand, we don’t want her to slowly lose all the great feelings and emotions that we created on our first date to be forgotten if we wait too long.

Ask five people and you may get five different answers.  So what’s the answer?

While there is no advice, my answer … drum-roll please…  Call the next day or two days at most.  Surprised?  The reason why is because online dating is a completely different animal than most forms of dating.  With online dating there is a ton of competition.  You may have had a great date but the emails are going to keep piling in for the person whom you hope to meet again.  The longer you wait, the more time someone else may have to swoop in…and the more she may think you are not interested and emotionally move on.  We must always remember online dating has to be treated differently than under normal circumstances.

Besides, waiting has become so cliché and obvious at this point in time.  Calling the next day separates you from everyone else out there in a good way.

So what do you think out there? Are you with me ladies!?