Back on JDate Again

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I have been on and off this site for 10 years, and have not had much success. I have changed my pictures and rewritten my “About me” which is who I am, my first and ideal date, what I am looking for, and what I have learned from the past. Yet, when I write it seems I go all over the place? I was wondering if someone can help me? Thanks!

Dear Back on JDate Again,

The key of writing (or rewriting) your JDate profile is to take your time. Don’t sit down to sign up and try to finish it all in one night. Copy the questions into a blank document and spend a few days writing and editing. Make sure you’re focused, concise and use spell check. Allow a trusted and brutally honest loved one read it over and take their advice. Don’t change your profile too often otherwise you may come off as sketchy by people who are interested but haven’t yet made contact. Spend time reading other people’s profiles to see what you like and don’t like, what would appeal to you and what wouldn’t, and make sure you don’t use too many cliches.


Standing Out

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you stand out in your About Me essay? Make sure your first few words are catchy because that’s what people can see in searches, don’t overuse cliches and try to use descriptive and colorful language.

This isn’t a business proposal and doesn’t need to be stiff and conservative. Although dating may feel like a job interview you can’t treat it that way. Lay it all out on the line because you have nothing to lose. It’s better to go too far and then edit and reel it in a bit rather than not go far enough. You can’t expect someone to read your blurb in the tone you wrote it, so you need to exaggerate and emphasize. Write your profile as though you were talking to your best friend – casual, relaxed, funny, friendly – times 10.

This is the time you need to sell yourself. If you’re funny, don’t just say “I have a sense of humor” say “I promise to keep you laughing all day long.” If you’re smart, don’t say “I’m a genius” say “I’ve never lost at a game of chess, but I’ll let you win and let you think you won.” If you’re successful, don’t say “I’m rich” say “I’ve worked really hard but now it’s time to settle down and enjoy life.” (Or any variation of these phrases.)

Everyone is “looking to share the rest of my life with someone,” but how can you say it in a unique way that expresses your personality? Maybe “I want to fall in love with my best friend, someone I can golf with, watch “Top Chef” with and root for the Patriots with.” This shows your interests and hobbies without just listing them and conveys the same message.

Simply put, you need to stand out – starting with the first few words and going from there. Keep the energy up, have someone who will be honest with you read it and allow them to critique and edit it if necessary. And remember, this isn’t the time to get offended – your loved ones want nothing but the best for you!