Keyboard Cock-block

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Technology often makes you sound like a complete idiot. It’s not always your fault, but people don’t always read our emails or text messages as we intended them to. Add to that stupid spelling errors and auto correct mistakes and suddenly we appear uneducated. Between your JDate profile, emails and text messages there are a lot of opportunities for your keyboard to cock-block your well-intended advances. Don’t skimp on characters when you’re still dating as people don’t yet know that you actually can spell (ie. How u doin’?). Even if you don’t have any typos you still should be careful about using sarcasm or even flirtation in your messages, until the receiver knows your personality. Don’t assume the receiver will read your message the same way you anticipated. Lesson: reread your profile, emails and texts before sending to make sure that it is painfully obvious what you are trying to say. Later you can let your fat thumbs and silly moods come across in your communications.


Frenemies

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

I’ve never seen so much hating at singles events. I was covering an event the other night and a girl was going around hugging up on different male friends of hers, while they were talking to women. The women clearly thought they were a couple and excused themselves. I actually overheard the woman say “and I’m here with him!” before flitting off to another guy who she introduced as her boyfriend. I’m not sure if she was conscious that she was cock-blocking but neither her guy friends nor the women were none too thrilled.┬áLater I saw women gossiping and giving the evil eye to other women. They were being snarky. And the men were noticing and getting completely turned off by their immaturity.

Listen ladies: you don’ t need to be friends with every other woman, but you don’t have to be enemies either. It’s why the term “frenemies” was created – smile and pretend to like everyone because your behavior says a lot about you. You don’t want to appear jealous or insecure or catty. Wait until you leave and are in the car driving home with your girlfriends to unleash, if need be. But while you’re at a singles event or on a date, refrain from talking badly, giving the evil eye or gossiping. Lashon hora is not a flattering look.


Sabotage

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Everyone out there knows a hater. He or she may be an undercover hater, but they are a hater just the same. You know the one — the person who doesn’t know when to leave after you meet someone of interest at a party, but rather just stands there as an awkward third wheel. Or worse, keeps talking so you can’t get a word in edgewise, or even starts dropping info about you which you would never in a million years have thought of revealing to a new prospect.

So how do you tell the cock-blocker, um, I mean, your friend, to skedaddle? Before going somewhere you could possibly meet someone, create a code with your friend so they know when you can be left alone or when you need your wingman. Be it a tap on the thigh, a touch on the back of the hand, or a codeword, decide on something that you can subtly communicate. The key is to not be obvious. If you set up these signals and your friend doesn’t follow, you may need to take a look at the friendship because he or she may be trying to sabotage your luck in love. It is probably subconscious, but if your friend is also single than he or she may not want to lose their buddy. Try to have some sympathy — the other person is scared and jealous and that is a bad combination — but you may need to either have a talk or find some new single friends to hang out with. Just make sure you don’t become that person one day.