The Continued Pursuit Of Balance

by RollingStone9862 under JBloggers,JDate,Online Dating,Relationships

As a blogger for JDate I certainly have no problems expressing my opinions on the virtues of online dating. During the time that I’ve been on the site I have benefitted greatly from how it provides a forum to meet people and get to know each other, as well as making dating easier for people who are very busy or don’t thrive in the bar scene. In addition to those reasons, and others I’ve talked about in past blogs, I can honestly say that I’ve had a very good experience with online dating. Even though I was already sold on the online dating experience, recently I discovered yet another reason why it is such a great option for me.

Last week our team embarked on a week and a half long road trip (for those of you who don’t know, I’m a college basketball coach) to play games in Utah, California and Texas. In past seasons I would have completely disregarded my social life and been forced to focus solely on my job since it’s difficult to meet women on the road. However, since I can meet women online no matter where I am, on this current road trip I have continued to be active online emailing and chatting with women I am interested in.

Furthermore I have continued to try to make plans for when we get back from our trip so, in actuality, because of online dating, I have continued to be able to try to meet women in spite on my being across the country for work. Just like when I talk to women while sitting on my couch at home in Chicago there’s no guarantee that I’ll go out with anyone I talk with while I’m on the road, but at least I am continuing to be social and trying to date. As someone who is constantly trying to achieve a balance between their personal and professional life, I am grateful for online dating since it has once again provided with me the opportunity to continue that pursuit where in the past I would have conceded all my focus and energy toward my job.

Don’t Worry Because Everyone Has Issues

by RollingStone9862 under Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

Over the past year or so that I have been single, when I have been faced with seemingly simple dating situations, such as first dates with people I met online or friends setting me up with women they think I have a lot in common with, I inevitably complicate my approach and subsequent decisions regarding said situations by factoring in my fluid work situation as a college basketball coach.

You see, I can’t just date any girl that I find interesting and attractive; she also has to be willing/able to deal with the fact that my work schedule is very unpredictable. What this ultimately means is that I need to find someone who not only knows I am going to put her first in every situation I have control over, but also understands and accepts that I won’t necessarily always have the luxury of that control the way other guys with more conventional jobs would.

Recently, I went out on a first date with a woman, and I had to push the start time of the date back by over an hour because I got stuck late at work. Essentially, I was trapped in a meeting up until the time we were supposed to meet without being able to inform her of my situation. Fortunately, when I finally got back to my office and talked to her, she was very understanding and suggested an alternative plan for us.

While most people might be appreciative of her gesture to me it meant something more because of the fact that I need someone who doesn’t take those types of situations personally, and is willing to help ease the pressure of my crazy schedule by adjusting on the fly. For some, her understanding wouldn’t have meant that much, but given my situation I found it quite endearing.

Ultimately, we all have things going on in our lives that can potentially complicate our relationships, which is why it’s important that we think about the characteristics we would like someone we are dating to possess. In the end, everyone has their issues, so it is important that we surround ourselves with and date people that don’t mind dealing with those issues because that is one of the ways we determine who is ultimately “right” for us.

What Do Women Think Of All This?

by RollingStone9862 under JDate,Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

Earlier today, during my morning workout,  a thought popped into my head pertaining to what it felt like to be a woman who was active on an online dating site. As a 26-year old guy, I am inclined to believe that my online experience has been relatively typical to that of most men my age who have tried it for any extended period of time. I send out some flirts, a few emails and might even instant message a woman once or twice a week if I’m in the mood, but the point is that the interactions are primarily dictated by me. I occasionally receive messages from women, but I think that this is primarily due to the fact that I have a unique job as a college basketball coach, which serves as an easy conversation starter.

In spite of this experience I believe, for the most part, that it is fair to assume that the online dating community mirrors other traditional environments where men generally approach women they are interested in and see what happens from there. However, this assumption led me to consider the idea, and resulting question, that since men can “approach” far more women online in an evening then they could in a bar, does this mean that women on online dating sites are overwhelmed with guys trying to get their attention and start a conversation?

Unfortunately, since I’ve only contemplated this question for the past few hours, and therefore haven’t had the time to survey any women on the subject, I am left in the interim to pose a possible answer myself. After considering the above question all morning, the only reasonable conclusion I could come to was that women who are active on online dating sites are bombarded with messages. I mean, it makes sense that with guys all trying to increase their chances of meeting women by sending out as many messages as possible, in the process we are going to blow up the inboxes of the fairer sex.

Unlike being in a crowded bar and seeing  an attractive woman that you’d like to approach, who happens to be talking to another guy, online  men send out emails to women without knowing who else in the community is also trying to engage them. However, as a result of this conclusion, while I believe it to be accurate, two other questions can be raised that I unfortunately don’t have the answers to at this point in time. They are:  What does it feel like for women to have their inboxes saturated with our messages, and should my consideration of this circumstance lead me to adjust my casual approach to contacting women?

To be further researched, dissected and ultimately continued…