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by JeremySpoke under JDate,Success Stories

Either my blog posts are getting worse, or people are getting angrier for some ulterior reason. I’m starting to get a handful of angry replies about my updates. Here is what I wrote in the latest post that irked one reader:

“If you live in the suburbs, which many of you reading this probably do, there is really nothing to be afraid of, short of death or serious illness of yourself or a loved one.”

And here is how the reader responded in a comment:

“What?!? Do you even know what you’re talking about?”

In context, they were referring to a post I wrote where I discussed how fear can drive you to do great things, but can also consume you. I think this reader took my writing a bit literally. For example, the preceding sentence of my post read, “You can’t live with constant fear (unless you’re that woman who was trapped in that dungeon in the Netherlands… or somebody is chasing you with a buzz saw).” By his logic, it is perfectly normal and commonplace in today’s society for someone to be chased around with a buzz saw, but completely unacceptable that a person’s two biggest concerns should be death or serious illness of a loved one.

Of course there are countless other valid concerns that suburbanites should have, and of course, not all of our readers live in the suburbs. I use hyperbole to make broader points. If it offends you that I made a generalization that you live in the suburbs, maybe you should leave your moderately-sized house just outside the city and go volunteer somewhere.

Again, I don’t know you at all, and I’m sure you’re a great person, and you probably volunteer more than I do anyway. But let’s face it, you do live in the suburbs, and if it angers you that I think you should concern yourself with the health and well-being of yourself and your loved ones, I’m sorry to suggest something so terrible.

Let me be your scapegoat. If you’ve had a long day, and come on here for some dating advice, and read one of my posts that doesn’t always have to do with dating, go ahead and yell at me. You’re right. I don’t always talk about dating. Dating is important. JDate is important. If it wasn’t for either, I never would have found the greatest woman I have ever met. However, there is more to life, and I write about that as well.

If you spend all day worrying about dating and finding the perfect person for you, you’re probably not going to find someone for a while. Take a step back. Put up some nice profile pictures, be honest in your profile, occasionally browse the site to find someone good for you, and something will eventually happen. It took me five years to realize this. JDate is a tool. A great tool. However, it is not life. Life is too complex, and if you spend all of your time on here, it will show. JDate can’t make you somebody you’re not. It can only show the world the great person that you are.

If you are still angry at me, leave a comment on this post. In order to do so, click on the title of this post and then leave a reply at the bottom. Also, if you like my writing, you can leave a reply too. I don’t really get a lot of feedback on this outside of my friends and family, and after over 200 posts, I want to make sure that I’m helping (or at least entertaining) people.

How’s My Writing?

by JeremySpoke under JBloggers,JDate

I had just finished my new post and then saw that someone left a comment on an older post of mine. Here it is:

‘“Most writers?” I have a sense of humor. You’re just not funny. You’re not even witty. Not a good writer either. You spend 20 minutes on these things? JDate : see what happens when you don’t pay your bloggers — or even read their posts? You get this.’

This review/comment was attached to a post I wrote titled, Real World, and it was admittedly a terrible post. I reread the post, and it is indeed awful. I apologize. I have written for this site for over two years, twice a week. For most of this time I have been overweight, single, and struggling with several anxiety-related disorders. Though I do like to think I am a decent writer, and occasionally funny, it has often been difficult to be consistent two times a week while dealing with my actual life.

So, Shannon November, while some of my posts are bad, and most aren’t at all about dating, and I certainly do not dole out advice, I apologize again. No, JDate does not pay me, and writing is not a full-time thing for me. However, writing here twice a week has been the only consistent thing in my life over the past two years or so. I actually didn’t think that anybody reads my posts, so at least I’m glad that somebody does. I know this sounds strange, but the opportunity that JDate has given me has honestly helped me point my life in the right direction, as every post of mine here, starting with the very first, chronicles this gradual change from who I was to what I am slowly becoming.

I do not know if you have read any of my other posts, but if you haven’t, you are more than welcome to. Chances are, you have, and you dislike them as well. In that case, there are two other wonderful bloggers on this site as well. If that isn’t good enough, there are millions of other free blogs on the internet to choose from, covering pretty much any topic you can imagine.

Really, my posts are just as much for me, maybe even more so, than they are for the readers. They force me to write. They give me a sort of structure that I desperately needed a few years ago. My life is completely structured now, thanks in part to this thing. So much so that I am completely rewriting this post after having read your comment, even though it is killing me that it is 10 pm, and that is the time that I need to be in the shower.

However, after reading that horrible past post of mine and leaving that comment, you’re probably never visiting my blog again, and are thus not reading this. If you do happen to catch this, leave a comment. If anyone else has read any of my posts, or are reading this one, please let me know how I’m doing. At least I’ll know I have a semi-consistent reader, because all I want is to be liked, and if not liked, noticed.

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