under Date Night
Does it matter where you go on a first date? Will you judge someone negatively for choosing an inexpensive restaurant, or will you think more highly of someone for choosing a pricey restaurant? The cost of the food shouldn’t matter, but rather the quality of the restaurant (plus the initiative your date took in choosing the restaurant) and the originality of the venue.
I love The Cheesecake Factory as much as the next person, but it’s not where I’d want to go on a first date. A fabulous hole-in-the-wall sushi spot is awesome, even if the bill ends up being under $50. And just because a guy takes you to an expensive restaurant on your first date does not mean that’s the type of dates you will always go on.
First dates are an opportunity to impress you, so people tend to pull out all the stops. Don’t be upset when the dates don’t continue to be so fancy… it’s not the cost that matters, but the quality of the person you’re sitting across from.
Being single isn’t easy and it isn’t cheap. Between finding dates and going on dates, the cost of love adds up quickly. In this economy it would be easy to cut down on certain soulmate-searching techniques but all that would mean is that you lessen your opportunities of meeting your Beshert. Rather, think of it as an investment. If somebody asked you how much money you would be willing to spend to find The One, you wouldn’t hesitate to spend every dime you have. And if they said that all you needed to do is spend a little more money to meet said Beshert sooner, you wouldn’t hesitate to call your Mom and ask her to sponsor your JDate membership.
You could sign up for JDate for just one month, but let’s be honest, we’re Jews and we like a deal and signing up for 3 or 6 months will cost less in the long run. I know you hope you’ll meet someone the first month – and maybe you will – but if you buy the most expensive package chances are you’ll up your chances of meeting your Beshert in the first month. That’s just how things seem to work, you know? So just budget in some extra money a month after signing up for 6 months.
Count on attending at least one Jewish singles event each month. That will cost you about $20. But you’ll probably go to two Jewish events so that’s about $40 a month. Next you have the cost of going out to “mainstream” bars, networking events and parties in the hopes that you’ll meet a Jewish single there. Let’s just say that will cost you $200 a month. So just to put yourself out there is going to cost you nearly $250 a month. That sounds like a lot, but if someone told you that for less than $10 a day would get you a husband or wife, you would fork over the cash in a heartbeat.
After you finally meet someone you have the cost of going out on dates and all that it entails. Eventually if not sooner you’re going to have to buy some new “going out” clothes, you’re going to want to get a haircut, you’re going to want to wash your car and, of course, you’re going to have to pay for meals and drinks and movie tickets and concerts and flowers and so on. It all adds up. And if you look at it the way I’ve just laid it out there it sounds overwhelming and expensive, but again, it’s all worth it if leads to your Beshert.
We all buy new clothes eventually and we all need haircuts eventually and we all need to wash our cars eventually. And paying for all or part of a meal, drinks, tickets, etc. is par for the course. It’s called dating. If you’re not spending that money while you’re out on a date then you’ll spend it while out with friends. You can either spend the money on a date without thinking twice (as you should) or you can dwell over each penny when the date is a dud. But don’t look at it that way, remember that it’s an investment and one day soon you’ll be in sticker shock over the price of a wedding.