under Date Night
While you’re on a second date, your conversation should start getting deeper and deeper (as well as on your third and fourth dates). This is not just superficial conversation; you should be asking questions and discussing more in-depth topics. To find out if you enjoy the same topics, you can mention them and see what reaction you get: A blank stare? An eye-roll? A passionate debate?
If you like world events, mention the Iran Deal, Greek’s economic collapse, or ISIS. If you enjoy science, then mention global warning or stem cells. If you love entertainment, then bring up the recent Emmy nominations, Amy Schumer, and anything else trending. If you’re passionate about politics, then broach the topic of Donald Trump and then the dozen other Republican candidates. If current events get you going, then bring up the topic of racism and if police are using unnecessary force. And of course, there’s sports… but that’s an easy one.
You may find that you cannot see yourself with someone who doesn’t read the newspaper, or someone who only gets their updates from TMZ, or someone who’s politics differ too much to understand, or whose schedule revolves around SportsCenter. Differences are good, but you need to have respect at the core in order to have a healthy debate. If you do decide to enter into a debate during a date — which is fine — be respectful and don’t hurl personal insults or allow it to upset you. If that happens, then you likely have your answer about the fate of the date. Remember that looks fade, but the ability to have enticing conversation can last forever.
under Date Night
If you’re going on first dates right now it’s probable that the war on and in Israel will become a topic of conversation. If you’re passionate about Israel then it may come up — even when there’s not a war going on — or if you’re passionate about another major current event then you can use that as a measuring tool as well. Finding out how someone feels about what’s going on in Israel, and around the world, will likely have an effect on how you feel about your date.
Let’s assume you’re a devout supporter of Israel’s right to defend herself:
If your date doesn’t have much of a clue aside from some headlines while they scroll through their Facebook feed or watch TV, then you may be turned off by the lack of interest in a topic that effects all of us.
If they are knowledgeable but don’t spend time advocating for Israel, then that may be acceptable to you.
If they are sharing articles, attending pro-Israel rallies, and losing sleep after watching the news then you may feel a deeper connection.
If your date thinks Israel is at fault, and denies Hamas’ use of civilian shields, and tweets FreeGaza, and so on, then this person is very, very likely not for you.
You can gage a lot about a person by how involved they are politically, and make some valid assumptions, and then decide for yourself if this is the type of person you want to be with in a romantic relationship. That said, don’t spend your entire first date debating anything political, that’s less than romantic. Simply stating that you’re stressed about what’s going on in Israel right now and listening to their response, should be enough of a telltale sign. Then carry on as you see fit.
under Online Dating
I only have ten minutes to write this post. It’s hard to write under pressure. It’s even harder to write not under pressure. Sit in your room in front of your computer on a weekend and see if you can write anything meaningful, funny, or in any way legible. You have things to do! Shut up, shove that beef jerky into your mouth and go back to sleep! There are things to do starting Monday, and they’re not going to get done if you wear yourself out on Sunday writing words.
I now have one minute to write this post. I spent nine minutes writing the dumbest, shortest paragraph I’ve ever written. I am not sure if I I’ve run out of things to write about, or if I no longer have an original thought. I’m just going to start listing things that I see here in this office, in my mom’s house, where I’m writing this tonight. Stapler. Telephone. Olivia. Printer. A book, which looks to be titled, Fifty Shades of Grey. And I am officially writing the rest of this post with my eyes closed.
Now, not only do I have nothing to write about, but I have these horrible images in my head that should never, ever be there. Quick! Think about the stapler. Good lord the stapler! Dammit! I only made the stapler up because I couldn’t find anything else in this room. However, the copy of Fifty Shades of Grey, lying right beside me, is extremely real. I can’t finish a post about online dating while thinking about the fact that my mother owns, and most probably reads, this book.
I suppose I can think of something romantic going on in the news. Women’s Olympic weightlifting. Mitt Romney. Unrest in the Middle East. Fifty Shades of Grey. I can no longer write any more.