The Internet

by JeremySpoke under JDate,Online Dating

We are too dependent on the internet. I just spent an hour on the phone with my horrible internet provider, which I will not mention by name by saying that they are Comcast. My internet goes out every night, and I am often on the phone with them. As I am in customer service myself, I understand that they have to deal constantly with angry customers. However, it is not quite the same. While I work for a good, reputable company, they work for the most disgusting, freedom-hating, Osama-loving corporation America has seen since T-Mobile (I have my reasons).

They make it even worse by employing friendly customer-service representatives. It would be so much easier to yell at someone over the phone if they weren’t so friendly. On top of that, the customer service representative in me prevents me from telling them to punch themselves in the face with a nail. I personally get told to punch myself in the face with a nail about ten times a day, and that is outside of answering phones at work. It usually happens when talking to people in stores, at the gym, people yelling at me while driving next to me after cutting them off, etc. It’s kind of weird that they all shout the same insult.

Without the internet, how am I supposed to look at all of the girls on here who will never love me? I need the possibility, though the probability is zero. I need to be able to feel something positive before I take my horrible shower and then lay in bed alone.

However, once my internet does come back, I’m immediately relieved and no longer angry even though I know┬áit will momentarily go out again. This phenomenon is so weird. We crave the internet so much, that once we see that Google homepage, all of our life’s problems are briefly eliminated. What happened before Google? Were people just constantly murdering people all the time? I don’t remember because I was in junior high constantly getting punched in the face with a nail.