What’s Your Conversational Style? Grade Your Quiz

by Caryn Alper under Relationships

Welcome back!  Last week, I posted a quiz to (unscientifically) determine what type of conversational style you have while on dates.  Today it’s time to grade the quiz. We’re using the honor system here – no cheating!

To score the quiz, count the number of As, Bs, Cs, and Ds you chose.

  • If you chose mostly As…

You are an “interviewer.” You are generally interested in getting the facts upfront and quickly. The who, what, where, and when of your date’s past and future of utmost importance to you, and you’re not afraid to ask the tough questions to get the answers you need. You don’t have time to waste on a date who’s not up to snuff, so if you don’t like what you see, you call in a new candidate.  My advice to the interviewers out there: slow down! You don’t have to decide whether a first date will become your spouse. You just need to decide if you are having a good time in the present moment.

  • If you chose mostly Bs…

You are the “silent type.” Your approach is passive, and you are more comfortable listening than talking. Your confidence may be on the lower end of the spectrum, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make a good impression on a date – remember to smile and practice thinking of some conversation topics to bring up before your date.

  • If you scored mostly Cs…

You are a “chatterbox.”  Always interested in hearing your own voice, you like to talk about anything and everything.  You’re always telling long-winded stories and yakking about yourself and other people. Keep in mind that when you are on a date, you should spend about half the time talking and half the time listening, so chatterboxes of the world, adjust your conversations accordingly.

  • If you scored mostly Ds…

You are the “situational type.” You tend to live in the moment and adapt to the present situation, making observations about things you see, hear, and taste.  You might reference jokes or observations from earlier in the night or tease your date in a playful way. Situationals are fun and put others at ease, but remember that it’s okay to dig a little deeper after the first couple dates.

Accurate? Totally off base? Are you the same type on dates as with friends and family?  Keep in mind that nerves tend to alter our natural conversation pattern.  For example, I’m usually a pretty good listener, but when I’m nervous, I get chatty! Other people shut down when they are feeling anxious and get quiet. My point is to recognize how your speech comes across to the person sitting next to you so that you can maximize the success of connecting with him or her. Happy chatting!


Bite Your Tongue

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

There are some phrases people say that they probably would wish they could take back if they knew how the other person heard it, felt about it and reacted to it. Some are stupid, some are offensive, some are insensitive and some are just annoying. Think of these scenarios: you see a mom with two kids the same age who look exactly the same and you ask, “Are they twins?”… um, duh. Or when you meet a ginger and you exclaim, “You have red hair!” as if they didn’t already know that. Or when you run into a basketball player and say, “You’re so tall, how’s the weather up there?” as if he had never heard that joke before.

So when you’re meeting a JDate in person for the first time, try to stay away from making the obvious comments. Most people will just smile at these inane comments, but inside they’re cringing because they’ve heard them all before and are waiting to meet that special someone who has something original to say.