Dear Gems from Jen,

I am very confused. I went out on three dates with this guy and it seemed like he really liked me and we hit it off. After the third date, suddenly, he stopped contacting me. What’s going on? I’m so confused!

Dear Three Dates,

I can certainly understand your confusion. I really do wish I had a direct answer for you, I’m afraid I don’t however. It sounds to me as if it is his loss not yours. I really do not believe there is any type of valid excuse for this type of behavior. I do understand things come up, emergencies may have arisen, however a quick phone call is not too much to ask in my opinion. My suggestion would be to let this guy go and focus on what it is you really want from the people you meet on JDate. There are plenty of guys out there who are ready and willing to not send confusing messages. Waiting around for someone to call is no fun. Make the decision to enjoy yourself during this process and don’t wait around for anyone.

Signed,

Gems from Jen

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So when does that initial, likely random, first date turn into something less random and more familiar?  When does the relationship start feeling as if you’re with someone who should have always been there…?

ON the first date you had a good time, a great time, a pleasant time. You go on a second and third date, but yet you’re not yet convinced as you begin to dip your feet into the potentially rough riptides.  You are in the ocean taking a step further in as each date passes, but the question is, are you being brought back to the sandy shore because of other options in the dating pool, or maybe because it just doesn’t feel quite right and the waves are pushing you back?

Or

Is it something that sticks with you even if you are not quite sure if you can explain it?  Even if it’s based on nothing more than a feeling, it’s still something you feel you should “tread” out.  So you hang out where you toes barely touch and you tread water content with seeing where this swim can take you. Will you encounter a tsunami with waves that will crash and burn or will it be a calm excursion that brings you deeply intertwined in a calm that you never experienced.

Many of us have our one-hit wonders that bring us back to shore, BUT in the event there is that connection that is worth treading for,  hold on to it for dear life because waves like that don’t come around too often. Some might even say it is an illusion, so enjoy the ride.

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