Dating Inspiration for the New Year

by Caryn Alper under Judaism,Online Dating,Single Life

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

I don’t know who coined this phrase or when it started, but I know why it is (or was) popular: People love the opportunity to start over. To get rid of physical and mental clutter. To ctrl-alt-del your life. So what better time than the Jewish New Year to start “the rest of your life?” Note: I don’t typically like to get sappy or spiritual in my posts, but again, if there’s a time for it, it’s the High Holidays.

When I talk about starting over for the New Year, I don’t mean writing out New Year’s resolutions or necessarily starting a diet or exercise program (although, I don’t discourage it.)  I’m talking about assessing your year of dating — what went well? What needs improvement? And above all, ask yourself what you can do to work on your relationship with yourself.  To be comfortable alone. To be the best version of yourself. Because focusing on those things will likely result in better relationships with other people.

Just as Rosh Hashanah serves as judgment day between us and G-d, so too can it serve as a wakeup call to judge ourselves — to take stock of the year’s successes and plans for the future. Hearing the shofar blast is the ultimate spiritual wakeup call. It’s a time to reconnect to our mission in the world and feel inspired to take on the rest of the year.

In the world of dating, hearing the shofar might provide the hope we need to keep going, even if we’ve had a couple break-ups this year. Or maybe it serves as a reminder that you are a worthy and loveable person.  Or maybe it provides you with a sense of belonging to a community if you’re feeling particularly lonely.

So this year, instead of resting your eyes during the sermon, lurking around the lobby, or even scoping out the babes across the mechitza, listen to the shofar. Really listen to it. Hear the sounds, but also listen to the meaning it has for you personally.

I wish you a sweet and prosperous new year!

Love at First JDate: How to Recover from a Bad Date

by JenG under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating

It happens to all of us. We go out with high expectations and come home with low spirits. We swear off dating and report back to our loved ones that maybe we are destined to be alone for the rest of our lives. I’ve never met someone who has not had a bad — or awkward — date at least once in their life. If they exist, I’d love to give them a hug and tell them about some of mine.

If you find yourself feeling down after a date:

  • Do: laugh it off. Even if it was uncomfortable or unimaginable, know that it is over. You never have to see this person again (hopefully). So, just turn this into a memory that you eventually forget. Do something that restores your faith in humanity—or just watch a rom-com on Netflix and dream a little.
  • Don’t: Become a dating recluse. That means you shouldn’t just shut down your online dating profile and delete all potential suitors from your phone. You’ll get nowhere doing this, except a life of loneliness and a heart of sadness. Pick yourself up and try again.

Please, just try again.