under Date Night
When you’re interested in someone — whether it’s a new prospect on JDate or after a first date or after a few months — making plans is the way to let them know you’re still interested!
People can carry on conversations with lots of prospects online, but it’s only you’ve made plans that you know this one is different. And then after the first date, having plans made immediately for a second date is how you know that there’s enough mutual interest to continue getting to know each other. And once you’ve been dating for awhile, then making plans is assumed.
Whenever a plan isn’t made — regardless of the scenario — is when people begin feeling insecure about where the relationship (or the possibility of one) is going. So if you like someone, make plans to see them again, otherwise you’re just playing games.
under Date Night
After a few dates where you and your match have several great conversations, and discover tons of commonalities, you may get to a point where you don’t know if the person sitting across from you is just a super-cool person you happen to jive with, or someone who could become your next great love. As much as you may want to jump to an answer, there’s really only one way to find out!
The only way for you to know if you could have a future with this amazing person is to continue dating them. It’s through dating that you create momentum and take the time to explore your chemistry. You can’t expect the three C’s (conversation, commonality & chemistry) to be instantaneous and simultaneous; it takes work to get all three in sync! If two of the three C’s are already there, then keep up the momentum by planning dates closer together so that you can see if the third C develops.
Only then will you know what becomes of this new relationship; and whether you just become good friends, or you find your perfect match, you’ll probably have a lot of fun along the way.
For me the idea of gaining “dating momentum” is very important. It is not only crucial to my psyche that I am continuously talking to women and going out on first dates, but also that once I go out on a few dates, if things are going well, that we continue to consistently go out and see if the relationship has potential.
Especially early on in a relationship I think that the idea of gaining momentum is important since it’s hard to get to know someone, and find out if you two are compatible, when you only see each other sporadically. Additionally, when I am looking forward to something, such as going out on a second or third date, the last thing I want to do is be patient until we find a day when our schedules match up and we can go out.
Recently I went out on a first date with a woman, and it went really well, which led to us going out on a second date 6 days later. As someone who usually doesn’t rush into anything, and can be very methodical with how I plan dates at the beginning of a relationship, I think that spacing dates out about a week apart makes sense.
After we had a really good second date last week I was expecting, since my schedule is relatively flexible now that we are in the off-season, that we would be able to make plans to go out this week. Unfortunately, her work schedule is crazy right now and we weren’t able to find a day that was good for both of us until next week, which meant that it would be two weeks between when we went out on our second and third dates.
Even after we were able to finally make plans I was still bummed that it would be two weeks before we went out again. However, I do know that, in spite of my disappointment, I need to hang in there. In the end I know that this situation might not be ideal, but perhaps instead of this two week break between dates killing our momentum we will be able to hit the ground running if the third date goes well because it will show that we are both committed to giving the relationship a chance and seeing where it goes.