Love at First JDate: When to be Facebook Friends

by JenG under Relationships

After reading someone’s online dating profile and feeling enough of a burst of interest to meet them in person, you may find yourself on the steady track of getting to know them and seeing them weekly. But when is it time to finally connect with them, or easier said, be their Facebook friend, perhaps follow them on Twitter and begin to press the “heart” button on their Instagram photos?

Do: Wait to meet the person in real life before connecting with them across all or any social media platforms. If you’re able to figure out their first and last name before meeting them or after the first date, it’s fine to go ahead and innocently explore their profiles but don’t add them.

Don’t: Add that person on Facebook in the middle of your first date or before you have actually been out with them. If they ask you, before meeting you, to be your Facebook friend, consider going against that. It’s never a good idea to have someone look through years of your online information and photos before meeting you. Let the majority of their first impression of you be made in person, if possible.

Read more of Jen Glantz: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com


How to Keep a Girl Interested After the First Date

by Tripp under Date Night

Last week I discussed How to Tell if A Girl Likes You, and I also made a video about the topic. This week let’s discuss how to keep a girl interested after the first date. Here are 3 great ways to keep her interested:

1) Always have something up your sleeve

The best way to keep her on the edge of her seat is to have random dates and events planned for the both of you. The second date should blow away the first date! Instead of dinner, take her on some adventure like a hike or remote picnic. Don’t let her know what you’re doing until the day of so she gets excited. These small things will always get her curious about what you have planned next.

2) Don’t be too overbearing

Texting and calling too often is not the way to a woman’s heart. It’s important to take things slow. Don’t go as far as to play hard to get, or else she’ll end up dating the next guy that comes along. But, you should take your time in setting up new plans. After the first date, you don’t need to rush into hitting her up. Take a few days and then check in. Just make sure you have something fun planned, as stated in #1.

3) Don’t rush the physical side, but know how to turn her on

Rushing into sex isn’t always the best idea. If you’re looking for a long-lasting relationship, then it’s better to take things slow. Yes, you need to turn her on during the courting process (i.e. kiss her softly, lead her into the restaurant with your hand on her lower back, give her a good massage when she comes over to your place). This will be a good way to keep the passion burning and ensure she comes back for more!

If you can follow these 3 steps, you can help to ensure she stays interested in you and, hopefully, get that much closer to entering a healthy, fun relationship. Leave a comment below if you have any other ideas!


3 Ways To Tell If She’s Interested

by Tripp under Relationships

I get a lot of guys asking me over and over how to tell if a girl is interested in them. There are 3 main ways to tell if she likes you and I will list them here:

1) She asks you questions.

This might be the #1 way to tell if a girl is interested in you. If she didn’t care about you then she wouldn’t bother to continue conversation. So, if you’re messaging a girl online or meet a girl at a bar, pay attention to your conversation. What kinds of questions is she asking you. Are they personal? If they are then you can be sure she has some interest. But, of course asking questions is not enough to suspect any serious interest. Which brings me to #2.

2) She’s touching you

Not enough men pay attention to this. Check to see if she is touching you. Maybe she’s touching your arm? Is she slapping you on the shoulder when you make a joke? Women are doing this to be flirty with you. When you meet a girl in person or on a first date, look for these signs. The more she touches you then the more she wants to be asked out or even kissed. More on that here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueYYtCQmlf0

3) She makes time to see you/talk to you

Is she texting you? Did she message you first? Does she want to meet up? CAREFUL! You could be friend zoned. But if she is giving you the above signs then she’s actually interested in more than friendship. Either way, look out for this big sign. Most guys let this zoom over their head. If she is trying to make time to see or talk to you then she wants to be close to you. Don’t ignore this because most women will not bother with any guy they are not interested in.

Next time you meet a girl, pay attention closely to these signs because you will know right away, how to take the next step. Good luck!


How to Get a Response Every Time

by Tripp under Relationships

A common question comes up when I’m coaching men on how to successfully get dates with beautiful women.

“How come she hasn’t responded yet?”

Now, this could be through online messaging, texting or even Facebook. Let me set the scene…

You get the girl’s number from online or maybe at a bar. You know the right move is to text instead of call (and if you don’t know the right move then check out my youtube channel for that answer http://www.youtube.com/trippadvice)

Back to the story…

You have the number and you’re ready to say something. You send that glorious message and…

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

How come she hasn’t responded yet (you think for the millionth time).

Well I can’t tell you why she hasn’t responded necessarily, because I don’t know your specific story. But, I can give you some sage advice on how to get her to respond to your messages.

ASK A QUESTION!

Common sense? Maybe. But, how come I never see men ever use this amazing “technique”? If you want a girl to respond to your texts and/or messages then end the message with a question.

Give her a REASON to respond. She will need that in order to give a response. When we see the question in our inbox, phone, etc. it gives us purpose to continue communicating. Most guys end messages with stuff like:

“Hope all is well”
“Hope to hear from you”
“Talk soon”

Bad. Bad. Bad.

This will not necessarily garner a response from her. It’s a gamble. In order to keep the conversation moving ask her something and give her the REASON to respond to you.

I know what you’re thinking at this point. Well, Tripp, what if she doesn’t respond? Then what?

Well, at that point you’ve just given yourself a lot of well needed information. If she’s not keeping up with conversation and won’t bother to answer your questions via messages, then you can safely assume she (or he) is not interested and you’ve done something wrong.

Maybe your previous message wasn’t witty enough.

It’s possible when you met her out that you didn’t get her attracted.

At the least you now know to do something different for the next time.


Love At First JDate: Friends With Opinions

by JenG under Relationships

When I find someone who makes my heart feel like it’s pumping out an endless fountain of chocolate fondue, the next thing I am eager to do is introduce that person to my friends—the people in my life who keep me afloat and whose opinions matter more to me sometimes than my own flesh and blood. But it can be overwhelming and even if you beg your friends to be on their best behavior, they will slip in a comment to a guy like “Just so you know, you break her heart, I’ll break your face.”

  • Do: Ease them in slowly. Have the new man in your life meet your pals in small groups, for a small amount of time. Have them “stop by” or meet them for one drink. Something casual and that incorporates just a bit of small talk. You don’t want to bring him out with you to a girls’ dinner or a friend’s Sex and the City Birthday bash—at least not for the first time.
  • Don’t: Bombard the new lad you’re dating with a situation where there’s a tremendous amount of your friends circling him spitting out a fireball round of questions or engaging in conversation and making him feel left out. Put yourself in his shoes and understand how scary it would be for you to be introduced to his “Bro” world if a bunch of guys were spilling beers on your toes and playing a game of 20-questions.

Like most awkward and uncomfortable situations in dating, it’s best to ease into having your new “boyfriend” become friends with your “girlfriends”.

Read more Jen Glantz here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com


3 Important Tips to Remember Before the First Date

by Tripp under Online Dating,Single Life

So you’ve been messaging back and forth with that cute punum the past week and you finally set up a date. Maybe you even had a phone call beforehand and got to know each other. The date is set and the place is picked. To help ensure you make it a successful date, I’ve made a list of three essential steps to take:

1) Relax

Don’t go into this thinking he/she will be your future husband or wife. Take it slow. A lot of people get super excited about dates and think “this may be ‘The One.'” If you go into a date with that mindset, then you will set yourself up to lose. Instead, think about this date as another experience you get to have with an interesting person. Heck, you already qualified them for what you’re looking for. Now, enjoy the time together and don’t rush it.

2) Dress The Part

This advice is mostly for the guys here. Dress up! This is a date. Think Friday Night Services. You want to impress your date and look good, right? Put on a decent collared shirt (make sure it fits) and a nice pair of shoes. Women give extra special bonus points to the guys who know how to dress. Girls, I’m sure you got this part handled.

3) Bring the Energy!

Yes, I said to relax, so this might seem a little contradictory. But, dates are about fun! If you aren’t eager to be there, then you will put your date off. Ask them intriguing questions. Tell them your funniest stories (don’t get too crazy). And have fun. When you enjoy the moment, the people around you will enjoy it too. It’s never enough to just show up. Bring your A-game.

Those are the most important tips to having a successful date #1. Follow these three tips and you will be on your way to a successful date #2. That is what you want, isn’t it?

Read more from Tripp here.


Love At First JDate: When to respond to a message

by JenG under Relationships

Though I spend the majority of my time during the day at the computer, especially writing emails, when it comes to remembering to answer messages on JDate I’m simply the worst. Sometimes I won’t write someone back, who genuinely intrigues me, for over 2 weeks. It’s a tendency of a forgetful mind that has me reading a lovely message, smiling, and then quickly being distracted into doing something else.

Do: Answer your messages as soon as you feel like it. Don’t even bother trying to engage in some “I have to wait 24 hours to respond game.” It’s responding to someone, not getting proposed to. There’s no harm in responding quickly and if they find that to be “unattractive” and like a girl they can “chase”, well then move on. That’s just bizarrely bogus and there’s no time for a person like that.

Don’t: Try not to wait an extended long period of time to write back to messages. Keep the conversation flowing and interesting. It’s also very easy to lose a conversation in an overcrowded inbox. Either keep a list of people you enjoy messaging somewhere else to remember to follow up, or respond once you have opened the message to ensure you won’t forget.

Read more of Jen Glantz here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com


Love At First JDate: Leave Your Problems At Home

by JenG under Relationships

Just the other day, while on my way to meet a strapping gentleman for our first date at a restaurant in Chelsea, I found myself flustered and in a bizarrely terrible mood. I was running over 15 minutes late, stuck on a conference call for work, and though I had enough time to take a shower I didn’t have enough time to dry my hair, forcing me to exit my apartment with a wet mop of tangled split ends resting awkwardly on my head. When I finally stumbled my way into the arms of my date for a friendly “hello”, I was still huffing and puffing and feeling like a 5”7 catastrophe.

I noticed that when I started unloading my hectic day on the salad plate of my date, he began looking soggy, uninterested, and unsure of what to say or to do to cheer me up. I realized this complainer was not who I was! I quickly apologized and vowed to never again unleash these kinds of dragons during first impressions. Instead, I decided that next time I’m faced with chaos before a date, here is how I will deal with it:

Do: If you had a tricky day, call a good friend before you head out on your date and spend a few minutes venting to them. You should always try to put your best peep-toe forward when marching into a date, so a good a venting session will help clear your mind and bring you back down to earth.

Don’t: Leave your problems at the door. If you had a terrible day at work, just got into a screaming match with your darling parents or are finding yourself overwhelmingly tired, check these things with your coat and don’t bring them with your handshake when you go to meet your date. It’s okay to allude to them briefly, in a joking matter, mentioning the tough day you may have had, but why harp on it? The point of a first date is to get to know someone, so show off the things that make you energized, happy, inspired and motivated on a daily basis.

Read more of Jen Glantz here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com


March (Dating) Madness

by Adam under JBloggers,JFacts

March Madness is upon us, with sixty-eight teams, each fighting for the ultimate title of NCAA Men’s (and women’s) basketball championship. Starting tonight with the play-in games, then continuing Thursday and Friday with the “second” round games, hours of productivity, and thousands of dollars will be lost as a large segment of the population is glued to their television sets (or mobile phones), praying that a small school from the boonies of Louisiana can knock off Tim Tebow University.

There will be those Cinderellas- those directional state schools, and small private colleges, who win the hearts of many by knocking off schools like Duke, Kansas and Indiana, who then use their performance as a springboard for future basketball success. On the flip side, there are the busts- those teams who everyone had in their Final Four, but who flame out in the second round.

March Madness is a lot like dating. Think about it- you have those girls, or boys that in your mind are your prohibitive favorites (think Duke, Kansas, Indiana, Gonzaga) or best matches, who you think you will have the most chemistry with, or think looks good, is what Dick Vitale would call a “Prime Time Player”.

Sometimes, however, those best matches don’t exactly pan out. Maybe it goes well for a little bit, and you think it’s going to be smooth sailing to the finish (marriage), but huge bumps in the road (chemistry, change in priorities, you find out she’s a Philadelphia Eagles fan) put a halt to it.  Or maybe, a girl/boy pops up out of nowhere (think Virginia Commonwealth University during their Final Four run in 2011) and makes you heart flutter in ways you never knew existed.

March Madness and dating: it’s all about surviving and advancing. Who will end up being your “One Shining Moment”?


Love At First JDate: When To Walk Away

by JenG under Online Dating,Single Life

No one wants to get their heart broken, and likewise, no one wants to intentionally break anyone’s heart. That’s why many of us decide that when it’s not quite working with someone, when the stars just aren’t lining up, instead of getting fireworks in our belly, we get indigestion — it’s easy for us to tip toe around the brutally honest truth and try to hide our true feelings behind polite one-liners that we hope will do the dirty work for us:

  • It’s not you, it’s me.
  • I’m terribly busy and this really isn’t a good time.
  • I’ve started really, seriously, seeing someone else.

The only thing worse than throwing one of these sentences onto a person you don’t want to see again is having them not get the hint. There’s no trick when it comes to figuring out if someone is not interested in you, it’s just being able to accept the truth. Follow their words, but ultimately trust your gut.

Do: Follow up with someone you enjoyed going out with on a date. See how they are throughout the week, then ask them if they’d like to go out again. If you are feeling unsure whether or not someone would like to see you again… or you are getting too many wish-washy responses from them, pick up on their signs and swallow their constant “I can’t” as an indication that, unfortunately, they are not feeling this (Don’t fret, there are plenty of other people out there that will have goo goo eyes for you)!

Don’t: Be overly persistent or pushy with your follow-ups. Don’t sign off your text messages or emails with “Please go out with me one more time, I promise you’ll be impressed” or threaten them with a “I won’t give up on asking you out.” If you’re feeling that you are the only one who is excited to see you again, don’t force it. Bow out gracefully and search for someone else who will be your true match.