Each of us has our threshold when it comes to what we are willing to put up with in a relationship. Some people use the “three strikes and you’re out” approach, others are willing to put up with some crazy behavior because everything else in the relationship is going really great. What pushes you to the edge is going to be different for someone else.
Not receiving compliments may not bother someone else but may irk you to no end. Not making plans until the last minute may be your style, but for someone else, it could translate to their date not being interested. And it’s usually not just one thing, but a combination of a few things that make you look up and say “this relationship isn’t working… I’m done.”
Of course you have to factor in how long you’ve been dating or have been in a committed, monogamous relationship. Don’t live with traits, habits or behaviors you don’t like because you’re afraid you won’t find someone else. And keep in mind that when a relationship works it’s because you are both willing to overlook and compromise on things about the other person.
under Date Night
What do you do when you meet someone on JDate who has selected “Never” under the “Drinking Category” when you like your glass of wine or bottle of beer at night?
How do you handle flirting with a non-smoker when you love your cigarettes?
What’s your initial reaction when you receive a message from a cute vegetarian, but you pride yourself on being a carnivore?
You have to be true to yourself, and you can’t pretend to be someone you’re not when you’re looking for “forever.” Don’t hesitate to order a drink on your date just because he or she doesn’t imbibe, unless of course they are in AA and then you need to discuss how they feel about it first. If you never plan on quitting smoking, but your date is disgusted by the scent of cigarettes, then you might not want to light up, but you also need to make it clear that you don’t plan on stopping until you feel like it (quitting for someone else never works). Eating out with someone with differing eating habits shouldn’t be a problem, but be respectful of their choices when ordering on their behalf or cooking at home.
Some differences are good, others are a dealbreaker. Again, as long as you’re keeping it real and respectful, then there’s no reason it couldn’t work.