On the first few dates, if you’re a male, try to be at least a little bit decisive. It shows initiative or something.

I’m very bad at doing this. Although I have opinions, often very strong ones, I’m too afraid to express them, especially while out with a woman I hardly know. In general, I almost never talk about politics. I don’t shop around for things. If I need a shirt, I go to a store, pick up the first shirt I see, pay for it, and put it on my body. If someone asks me which insurance I prefer, I say, ‘The one that I pay to insure me in case I do something bad.”

On early dates, I have a bad habit of asking the woman her opinion on what she wants to do, where she wants to eat, what I want to wear, etc. Sometimes, you can come up with something, too. Set something up. Get a general idea of her likes and dislikes, and make an informed decision based on these opinions. If she’s a vegetarian, don’t go to a Brazilian steakhouse. If she’s a carnivore, go to a Brazilian steakhouse. If neither of you are hungry, do something else.

This all seems like obvious advice, but for me, it took a long time to learn. There’s a thin line between benevolence and weakness. I live my life on that line. I still see myself as an a****** that just can’t say no. Maybe there’s no such thing as nice people. There’s just a******* that impose their will and a******* that don’t.

Can a Cowboy and a City Girl make it work? Does a Southern Belle fit with a Surfer Dude? You see where I’m going here… do opposites attract? They can, and they do. But making it work long term is something else. You have to have commonalities, and more than a few if possible.

The hardest decision you may face is where to live — country, city, suburbs, urban, ocean — who gets to be in their comfort zone? Who has to compromise? And how will the person who compromises be repaid in the end? Should there even be rewards in a relationship — isn’t a successful relationship reward enough? Living accommodations aside, there will be other hurdles that opposites will have to jump, over and over again — but a couple who has a good foundation should be able to conquer anything if they want to.

A relationship is always going to be work, a lot of hard work, and you have to decide how much effort you want to put forth. Is it worth it, or would you rather keep looking for someone with whom you have more in common?