The most valuable lesson my sister taught me in high school which still remains in my head, “if you hold your hand up and have that many “true” friends in your life at the same time, who truly have your best interest at heart, you are a wealthy individual”. We all have our dating stories and go through relationship ups/downs, and perhaps even turn to our friends for some dating guidance. [Disclosure: I am a very optimistic Disney fairy tale believing individual]. That being said, I do believe it is important to be cautious with the advice you are given by your other single friends. First off, they are single. Case in point. Secondly, no one wants to be the last person standing. For example, if my hypothetical boyfriend’s single guy friend no longer had a playmate for his weekend steak dinners and bar festivities, is he really going to be the person advocating the best outcome for the relationship? He misses his wingman and doesn’t want to be left standing. The expression misery loves company came from somewhere. I’m not saying this is always the case. And in fact, regardless, the couple in the relationship should be strong enough to do what is best for them. Just sometimes, outside persuasion, especially from your single wingman, may not be the best advice to get you to where you ultimately want to be. Just sayin…
Dear Gems from Jen,
I always offer and usually do pay for dinner, drinks and flowers on dates with the ladies! I suppose it’s expected and traditionally, it’s a man’s role to take care of expenses! Although, many times women step up to the plate!
My question is, through being on a few computer dating services and having read many different bios, lots of females say they love to travel. Do women expect men to pay for the cruise, a weekend in Paris, or even a trip to Disney? What is the proper protocol for who pays?
A few weeks ago I answered a very similar question. However, your question has more to do with bigger expenses, than dinner, drinks, or coffee dates. It is traditionally a man’s role to take care of the expenses, but that does not mean that a woman should expect that the man will pay for everything. I have always said that a woman should have enough cash on a date to cover at the least her share of the bill.
A day at Disney is one thing if you happen to live near a Disney park. I would consider this a day trip and a nice place for a date. However, it is expensive. If you invite a date with you to Disney I would be prepared to pay. The one who does the inviting, I believe, is the one who covers the bill. If you cannot afford it, don’t go there. If your heart is set on Disney and expenses are an issue, have an open a discussion with your date about who will pay for what.
I know for me personally I love to travel. Does this mean that I expect the person I am traveling with to pay the cost of my portion? Absolutely not, however, keep in mind that I wouldn’t go on a cruise or a weekend getaway with a man I was casually dating for a few weeks. Expenses need to be discussed before a vacation is planned with a romantic partner. If a couple does not agree beforehand on the money aspect, one person may end up feeling taken advantage of; while the other may feel guilty. Or, it could lead to a disagreement. Communication is the key here. My suggestion is to get to know someone well before you start to plan vacations.
Gems from Jen