Unsure

by GemsFromJen under JBloggers,Relationships

Dear Gems from Jen,

So you say that moving slow is good, and I agree, but what if a guy writes you and shows interest, then calls. You say, ‘Yes’ and you both hit it off right away. Over the next few days, it feels like heaven… you’re smitten and he is telling you he may be falling in love with you. He then insists that you come to visit, (half way across the country) you take some time to think and agree to go. After all, it feels right, and I feel really good about it. THEN BAM! He’s not answering my calls or texts. Mind you, I just told him the night before that I have two children. What am I supposed to think or feel? I am so ticked off and left in the dark! I have no clue how to think or feel.

Dear Unsure,

I do realize how much this situation must truly hurt; however, without sounding callous consider yourself lucky! I think your first warning sign was this guy telling you he might be falling in love with you. Moving too quickly, especially if you have never met usually ends with one of the parties becoming hurt. I understand how great it feels to be smitten and hear the things we all like to hear, but always keep in mind that until you have met live and in person the relationship tends to be more of a fantasy rather than a reality. I believe the way you are feeling is very appropriate and you have every right to be angry and confused. Don’t let this experience deter you. Use it as a lesson learned.  Taking things slowly and really getting to know someone is usually the best course of action. Take some time to be angry and then get right back out there. It sounds like this guy lost out, but there are plenty of others on JDate who will not behave in this manner. Good luck to you.

Signed,
Gems from Jen


Too Many Miles

by GemsFromJen under Date Night,JBloggers,Online Dating

Dear Gems from Jen,

Any suggestions for those of us living far from other members? I have written to many men who peak my interest, but they live three hours away by car. I am willing to travel to meet them, but just about every time they tell me I sound very interesting, but they don’t want to meet because of the distance. Are there really people who meet despite the distance between them? What makes the difference?

Dear Too Many Miles,

My best suggestion is to keep up the search. Yes, there are people willing to meet even if there is some distance. I do realize there are some people who would prefer the convenience of having a date closer, but that does not necessarily mean you don’t have a shot with at least some of them.  Not being geographically desirable does not make or break someone’s chances.  It might make your pickings a bit slimmer, but if two people are interested in one another it can and does happen.

If you are not getting the responses you desire, try narrowing your search to potential matches that live a bit closer. Don’t give up though. Dating takes time and energy and is usually worth the effort.

 Signed,
 Gems from Jen

Tags: ,