Don’t you hate it when your ex gets married, gets a promotion, or just plain looks goooooood? It makes your blood boil, right? Especially when you’re in the exact same place as you were when you broke up. This is not a reflection of you, so try not to take it personally or beat yourself up over it. Maybe this is the kick in the tush you need to finally go after that hottie or that job or that haircut. It freaking sucks in the meantime, but use it for good, not evil. Even if you’ve moved on, it still might burn. But if you’re single, and your ex always pops up on JDate and then you hear he or she has moved on and suddenly their profile POOF! disappears, it’s gonna sting. Wallow in your self pity for bit, and then paste a smile on your face and carry on. Letting your ex’s success get the best of you will only make your desire to meet your Beshert seem like retaliation rather than authentic.

Dear Tamar,

I was dating this guy for the past 3 years in an “open” but committed relationship.  He had a lot of issues, but the biggest one is that he all of a sudden wanted more children and I cannot have children. I agreed to “open” dating as long as there’s honesty and that we would tell each other if either of us met someone else.  It took some prodding but he finally admitted  he was going on a date with another woman. At that point I realized “open” dating wasn’t for me and that I couldn’t continue in this relationship. He is insisting we be friends but I said NO. I am truly having a difficult time getting through this. What do you think?

Dear Drama-Rama,

You said it yourself, this guy has a lot of issues (I deleted the information for privacy’s sake, but you and I both know what they are and you should receive an award for making it 3 years!) and I think you are waaaay better off without him. I don’t see the need to be friends with exes, especially one that disrespected you. I think a clean cut-off would be best, both for you to get over him and for him to realize that he can’t treat people the way he treated you.

I also don’t believe that agreeing to “open” dating ever works out. Someone always, always, gets their feelings hurt. It’s one thing to be dating other people before you have “The Talk” but it’s quite another thing to see other people and not think you’re going to get jealous. Next time, either make the commitment to a guy or don’t, but this messy middle area should be avoided. Good Luck!