Every single one of you is guilty, admit it. As soon as you log in to your JDate account the first thing you do is click on the “Who’s Viewed You?” link and see who has checked out your profile since the last time you logged in. Sometimes you’re excited because the prospect has viewed you again and there’s mutual interest, sometimes you’re excited to see some new faces and other times you get supremely bummed because neither of the above happened.

Then of course you go to the “Recently Viewed” link to see if the prospects you viewed have logged in since then and if they have, why didn’t they view you back? And if they haven’t logged in yet then at least there’s still a morsel of hope!

This is why it’s imperative that you keep your profile set to viewable because if you’ve hidden your profile — even if you email prospects — then you are exponentially lowering your odds at meeting someone. So unless you’re in the midst of doing a profile makeover or are dating someone and waiting to see how serious it gets then there’s no reason to hide your profile.

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Jason W.”

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Hi Jason W.,

You’ve got a great profile and I think a few tweaks will be all you need to help you attract the higher quality woman you are looking for.

PROFILE NAME
Having a profile name composed of your birth year and initials is fine, it’s not massively attention-grabbing but it’s you and it’s unique. No need to change it unless you get some awesome idea which hasn’t been used yet.

PHOTOS
You’re cute, I’m not going to lie. The first photo grabs the attention which your profile name lacks. The next 3 are cool because it shows you living life, traveling and having fun. I would add another one or two photos showing you closer up because the last 3 are pictures taken from further away or you’re wearing sunglasses. It’s great to use a photo showing the scenery of where you’ve traveled, but then you need to balance it out with an up close and personal pic.

IN MY OWN WORDS
I appreciate that you’ve answered the questions thoroughly and honestly. Fix a couple of your capitalization typos to perfect your shpiels. My only concern would be this: you are tall, in your early 30s and good looking and with what looks like a really good head on your shoulders. So what’s the problem? Girls may think you are either too perfect or a fraud. Mention something about your midwestern roots and humble upbringing. Add a witty, slightly self-deprecating one-liner. And finally, your life appears pretty complete on paper, so talk about your desire for a partner. Your answers to I’M LOOKING FOR and MY IDEAL RELATIONSHIP seem to ask a lot of intangibles from a woman and may put a lot of pressure on the ladies you go out with. It’s important to have some level of expectation but perfection is not one of them. At the end of the day you want a real person laying next to you in bed, not a resume.

DETAILS
I would delete your annual income. I know you are an entrepreneur and you are proud to be successful, but because you seem so perfect already then stating your income is overboard. It’s just too much. Otherwise I like all the other answers until MY IDEAL MATCH. As a man in his early thirties you should be interested in much more than a Long Term Relationship so select Marriage and Children as well. Then expand your Age Range because it makes no sense that it stops at a few years younger than your age. Your maximum should be at least your own age if not a year or two higher when you’re 33. It’s important that you answer if you would date a woman with children and if you want a woman who wants children. Finally, you have selected every option under Religion and Education and I know that a man who loves pork and shellfish and has a Master’s Degree wouldn’t date a woman who only graduated high school and is Orthodox.

Being perfect is not what women are looking for, so make sure you’re being real and you will attract a real woman too. Good Luck!

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Carly.”

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Hi Carly,

I’m surprised your profile is so popular what with the lack of photos and completed profile, alas,  you haven’t found anyone you like yet so I think a little profile makeover is just what you need.

PROFILE NAME
I like that your personality is in your profile name — I like 2 have fun 2! — but since the arrangement of the letters and numbers was already taken the name loses some of the originality and excitement with the added jumble of letters and numbers at the end. If you can change up the name a bit to make it unique then it would be better.

PHOTOS
Two photos. Oy. Not a fan. And the first one has you wearing sunglasses. Double oy. Love that you’re in a bikini (hot!) but unfortunately the thumbnail doesn’t show the full photo. When you choose your main profile photo you have to take into consideration the “zoom factor” because the entire photo doesn’t show up. This means I need a reason to click on your profile to see the photo in all its glory. This photo is a great supplemental photo as it shows your body and your outdoorsy-ness, but you need more of a headshot for the main photo. Your second photo, with your son, is super cute and is a keeper, you just need at least 2 more, if not 4, photos.

IN MY OWN WORDS
Every single one of your answers is short. Too short. And you don’t use capitalization or punctuation. Not good. The lack of effort is apparent. What you say is nice, it just all needs to be expanded upon. I do appreciate that you don’t mention your divorce because I strongly advise divorcees to wait as long as possible before discussing what caused the demise of their marriage. I would however mention your son somewhere even if it’s just to say that you love being a Mom, but want a partner to enjoy the adult things in life.

MY DETAILS
I find it interesting that you didn’t answer all of the DETAILS but you completed the MY IDEAL MATCH thoroughly. You obviously know what you want but you need to give up some of your personal information too. It’s not just putting the time and energy into completing your profile but it also seems that you have a wall up. The information JDate asks is not too imposing, it’s information you would exchange on a first date and just as you want a specific man, he wants to know what you do for a living and what kind of custody you have of your son. Additionally, I find your age range to be too narrow. As a 39-year-old who is active and likes to have fun, you should expand your age range to include men as young as 35 and as “old” as 47. Otherwise, I think your criteria is good.

You are very close to having a great profile just put some effort into completing it. Good Luck!

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Stacy.”

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Hi Stacy,

PROFILE NAME
Your profile name is super cute! Love that you incorporated the city you come from as well as the city you live in. Using your hometown or current city along with your name or another descriptive word about you is a great way to create a unique profile name. And I also like how you provided some detail in your ABOUT ME describing how your character was formed from both your hometown and your current city.

PHOTOS
I’m totally loving your profile photo — you look like Amanda Seyfried and that’s hot! — and I appreciate you providing 7 photos. You look different, older perhaps, in photo 2 at the castle and in photo 7 in the classic car. I like both photos, but I would delete them for a few reasons: for starters, you look different and it’s not consistent; they are from the same event so your hair and clothes are the same; and it’s obvious you are in a wedding which can sometimes freak a guy out because he thinks you have weddings on the brain (save these pictures for when you’re getting serious with a guy and you want to show him pics of your family’s simchas. You also look different in the pic where you’re going to a Yankees game — do you have bangs now or not? If you don’t have bangs, then delete this pic. If you do have bangs then you need to update the other 4 photos to reflect that.

IN MY OWN WORDS
I like what you’ve said so far in ABOUT ME but it’s too short of a shpiel. Also, I’d delete the request for photos because it makes you seem like all you care about is what a guy looks like when I’m sure (I hope) that’s not the case — rather, just reply to a guy’s email by asking for his photo. After removing that line, you only have what basically accounts to one line left and therefore you need to talk a bit more about yourself. Who comprises your family? Why did your family move back and forth between your hometown and your current city? Where did you go to school and what do you do now? Give people some more tidbits of information to entice them to want to contact you. MY LIFE AND AMBITIONS is written well, but along with the lack of information in MY DETAILS, it leaves one wondering what exactly you do for a living which you’re so passionate about. The rest of your answers are solid, although I would perhaps answer a few more questions but with the changes I suggested above you will have a solid profile.

MY DETAILS
So much here is blank that guys will think you are trying to hide something. Some of the answers are easy enough: are you willing to relocate? Do you keep kosher? Do you drink? Do you smoke? Do you have a pet? How active are you? Where’d you grow up? What ethnicity are you? What languages do you speak? What do you do for a living? And everything under “MY IDEAL MATCH.”

From your photos you will receive a large quantity of messages but without all this information, they probably won’t be of high quality. Complete your profile and you will see a change. Those guys who don’t have profile photos won’t have to be asked for a photo because they will either have a completed profile or they will automatically provide them to you in effort to impress you.

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Lindsay.”

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Hi Lindsay,

Thanks for writing in. I think you’ve got a really good basis for your profile thus far!

PROFILE NAME
Your profile name is great: I assume the play on your name is your nickname joined with your middle or last name. I think that’s a cute and unique profile name and at least gives your name without divulging too much personal information. It’s never a good idea, for safety’s sake, to use your entire first and last name.

PHOTOS
Your photos are nice and show consistency. You have your close-ups and your full lengths. I suggest adding a description under the 2 with other people in it, it’s obvious one is your grandmother or someone else special to you but the last one, although really hot, has 2 dark-haired beauties in it and you should be very clear that you are on the left with your friend so-and-so. And since you talk about your passion for traveling a lot, I suggest adding one more photo of you (I think 6 photos is a good amount to prove what you look like and that it’s you and not a scammer) with the background of a beautiful city!

IN MY OWN WORDS
ABOUT ME is well written, but long. The sentences you mention in other areas (family and background under A BRIEF HISTORY OF MY LIFE, some of your passions under MY FAVORITES) can be deleted from here in order to reduce the length and minimize repetition. I would delete the first few sentences and start with the paragraph that says “I’m a kind person” and then jump back to “I studied abroad in Spain”. Delete the part about your careers since you mention it again under MY LIFE & AMBITIONS. I love how you ended this section as it shows a sense of humor and welcomes responses, so just update the word count. The rest of the sections are well written but need to be updated to reflect the recent changes I suggested above (in BRIEF HISTORY delete the part saying “I mentioned earlier” and you can add your college and siblings back in there).

MY DETAILS
Everything you selected and filled out in this category looks good. My only change would be to lower the minimum age range to at least 30. You are 32 so a mature 30-year-old shouldn’t be out of the question. Otherwise, having your maximum age range as 10 years above is perfect as is!

I think you’re very much on the right path and judging by the number of “likes” for each of your sections I think the men agree! Good luck!

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Emily.”

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Dear Tamar,

I’ve called JDate customer service and solicited the advice of some girlfriends, but so far nothing has helped.

I’m a fairly attractive and very smart/fun girl… in real life I get approached by a good number of smart and pretty good-looking guys. Online, however, very few guys message me (and almost none reply to my messages). Plus, all of the ones who do contact me are, frankly, poorly educated, inarticulate, and unattractive.

I don’t mean to be dismissive of these people but I just have the feeling that something is terribly wrong with my profile and is turning the ‘good’ guys off.

I suspect that my profile is too long (and I read that this can indicate desperation), but I put in all those details so that I could attract a like-minded guy. I’m afraid that a shorter and more generic profile will attract people I have nothing in common with.

Can you help me to figure out what’s wrong with my approach?

Thanks in advance.

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Hi Emily,

Thanks for writing in and letting me know that you updated your profile already. I agree, your previous one was far too long and this one is much better. Let’s start from the beginning though…

PROFILE NAME
Your profile name isn’t your name although it is a name, so that right there can be confusing. I’m a huge fan of Lucille Ball, so if you’re trying to reference her then at least incorporate a more obvious connection. If it’s some other reference then I’m personally not catching and maybe you want someone who does understand it but then you might end up losing people who aren’t in on the joke even though they don’t know that there’s a joke to get. I wouldn’t judge potentials on whether they do or don’t get your profile name. Of course, it would be very impressive and earn major points if a prospect mentioned the inside joke in his initial email to you but that is just one little connection. I would prefer you had a profile name which described you better.

PHOTOS
You have lots of great photos! Maybe too many though. I love your main photo and the second one with the red background, I also love the fourth one in the white dress and the eighth one in the green dress. The 11th one showing your side profile is super cute too. The others are not preferable to me for a few reasons — I don’t love the idea of alcohol in photos so that eliminates the 6th and 7th photos. The 12th one is just too small (low-resolution) of a photo that it’s a toss away. There are 2 others which have the ame background of the cool and colorful wall but you have enough photos that you don’t need to repeat. I do like the Halloween pic as it shows your fun personality but the third picture, the one in the black lace dress is just okay to me. I think you can do better with a full body pic (in a sexy dress like that one) with your great smile to match. I don’t think the full 12 pics is necessary. Your look is consistent in all 12, so if you just offered 6-8 that would be sufficient.

IN MY OWN WORDS
You’ve written some really eloquent paragraphs so I’m going to be pretty nit-picky with you. Under ABOUT ME, get rid of the word “boyfriend” and just keep that sentence to “friends.” In the last paragraph I would also remove the following: the part about books and about movies. I love a great book and indie flick too but you mention it a number of times throughout the entire profile (and of course it’s asked further down under MY FAVORITES) so this would be a good place to delete and shorten the response, including the last cutesy exclamation. Instead put something like “If you like any or all of these things too then maybe we’ll have more fun doing them together!” With MY LIFE AND AMBITIONS saying that you want to find someone you “really love” is, for lack of a better word, weird. Of course you should really love the man you marry! That’s a given. Alas, I get what you mean. Instead say “I hope my husband and I are passionately in love for the next 60 years” and then add in the rest of the sentence. I love your answer to MY PERFECT FIRST DATE and I think the remainder of your responses are all solid. You could shorten and tweak I’M LOOKING FOR as it is, literally, a tall order. I too had a height requirement but you can narrow that down yourself, you don’t necessarily need to say it in your profile as that may give a guy the wrong impression about your priorities when I know you truly prefer someone who is intellectual and cultural above everything else.

MY DETAILS
Your details all look pretty solid and reasonable. I applaud you for selecting a minimum age range a few years below your age and a maximum age range 10 years above. This is the perfect range. You do seem like the type of person who would be fine meeting someone who ended up being an “activity partner” but that’s not what you’re on JDate looking for, so there’s no problem with eliminating activity partner, friend and a date from the list of what you’re looking for.

I think you’re well on your way and your most recent trend of great guys writing to you will continue. If you want me to review some of your initial emails or responses, feel free to email me some examples. Good luck!

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Robin.”

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Hi Tamar,

Could you please view my profile and critique it? I know I need a new username, but have not been satisfied with any yet. I do not want to be too cutesy. Should it be random or more personal?

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Hi Robin,

PROFILE NAME
I see that you added a new username but I’m confused that you used a name that’s neither your first nor last name (that I’m aware of). You’re a hot, smart mom so try and create a name which reflects that. Even if you do use your first name, adding a bunch of random numbers to the end is not gonna cut it. There’s the obvious “RockinRobin” or, if you want to use Lawren(ce?) then there’s plenty of alliteration with the letter L, including the work “love” which you can play with.

PHOTOS
Your photos are quite nice. They show your youthfulness, your fun side and your body shape. I don’t love the last photo of you pointing at a photo, it’s definitely the weakest photo in the bunch. And the one in the blue dress is stunning but you look older there than you do in all the other photos. You don’t need to delete, but I would move it to the end and then add another photo or two.

IN MY OWN WORDS
I always tell people not to write things in their paragraphs which will have to be updated. Like “Daniel” who wrote about his newborn nephew — well, that little baby is going to be a toddler soon enough and Daniel will have to update his profile, rather he should have put just “my new nephew.” Or “Michael” who talks about being in the real estate industry 10 years — next year will be 11 years and so on, rather he should say he’s been in real estate “since 2003″ or “since graduating college in 2003″ and so on. What I’m getting to is that for your daughters, you should just say “teenage daughters” or “young daughters” or something to that effect. Same goes for referencing anything pop culture, such as this year’s Oscar contenders. It’s okay to say that, simply reword it to say “all of 2012′s Oscar contenders.” Of course, I hope JDate helps you find your Beshert before next year’s Oscars, but just in case not…

You list your activities which are all sporty but then make a comment about “believe it or not” referencing your love of sports. If you were being witty, I unfortunately didn’t get it. If you were being serious, then why wouldn’t a person believe it when you have so many active hobbies?

DETAILS
I think you answered all of the questions in this category pretty well aside from your IDEAL MATCH’s education. As someone with a law degree, I’m sure you prefer a man who has some higher level of education. Also, I would possibly venture a year or two older in your maximum age range. I know you are very youthful and active, but so are many 70-year-olds. Also, answer “What I Do” under BACKGROUND as many people have law degrees and work in the legal field but without specifying it appears that you’re being purposefully vague.

You have a solid profile and I think you’re on your way. Your age will throw people off since you both look youthful and have teenage daughters, so I’m glad you selected a younger than expected age range minimum. I’m also glad you’re a good writer whose profile seems to reflect your personality well as an upbeat lady!

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Naomi.”

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Hi Tamar!

I just renewed my membership and am really hoping for success this time around. I started to update my profile and think I could use some help. Any suggestions on what’s working/not working at the moment? My profile name is a combination of my first and middle name, but I’m not locked down – should I consider something else? Also, what are your thoughts on my ‘own words?’ I’ll take any tips to help mold my profile into one that will attract some genuine attention.

Many thanks!

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Hi Naomi,

PROFILE NAME
Your profile name isn’t bad but it’s not as awesome as you are. There’s no way one would know that it’s a combination of your first and middle names plus there’s some random digits added at the end so it’s really kinda boring… and you’re not! Try something more like this: GetToKnowNaomi, DontSayNoToNaomi, or NaomiInNewEngland. Spunk it up a little bit!

PHOTOS
Love your photos! There are plenty to choose from and you exude confidence and consistency in each one. I would reorder them though and make it the following: keep the first there as your main photo, then make the last one of you dancing second, make the fourth one of your super close-up third, the full length in the dress should go fourth, sitting in the cool chair fifth, the orange top sixth and the one with the wine bottle last. That one is a cute picture but I don’t think it’s a great idea to have alcohol in a picture so close to the front.

IN MY OWN WORDS
I really like your “ABOUT ME” — I truly feel like I know your personality so I want to applaud you for one of the more well-written essays I’ve ever read. Therefore, I’m going to be nit-picky. Add a period after the word “dream” in the first line. Perhaps eliminate segments here and there which are repeated later in your other answers in order to make the essay a bit less lengthy. Next, fix the grammar in the beginning of your answer to “ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS I TYPICALLY…”

DETAILS
Answer the questions about your IDEAL MATCH wanting kids, as that is an important question. Extend your age range a few years. Since you’re almost 30 you should start creeping past the mid-30s range and into the late-30s range.

I’m glad you decided to give JDate another chance as I think you will do quite well here this time around. Welcome back! Not sure how long you’re going to last though… but for only the best reasons!

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Simon.”

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Dear Tamar, 

I’ve been a JDate member for about 3 years now, made numerous changes to my profile, but nothing seems to happen.

Could you please take a look at my profile and tell me what I’m doing wrong? I have absolutely no clue.  

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Hi Simon,

PROFILE NAME
Your profile name is great — simple and straight to the point. Using your first name and pairing it with your birth year is a very easy way to create a unique profile name.

PHOTOS
Soooo…. your photos. They are so different from one to the next that I haven’t the faintest idea what you truly look like. The first one, a close-up, is sweet and the third one is great because it’s a full body shot and shows your height. I don’t know the timing of between the first and third and which is more recent but the third one makes you seem more slender and fit than any of the others. If that’s how you currently look then you need to immediately eliminate the second photo. You’re a big guy and that’s great — it’s hard to find a tall Jew! But the way you’re positioned in the second photo makes you look heavy. Now, my problem is that your face and hair look different from the first to the third photo which is why you need at the very least 2 more photos to show that your hair can be any length at any time in between haircuts. Yes, that sounds obvious, but people are making flash decisions and you don’t want anyone to question the age of your photos or the consistency of your look. Since your first and third photos are now the only two photos and both are posed, I would recommend you ask friends or family to start taking candid photos while engaged in a hobby or hanging out.

IN MY OWN WORDS
“ABOUT ME” is far longer than I prefer. You tend to be repetitive in places so I suggest reading it again and deleting any sentences which basically say the same thing you already said. I understand using different words to help get a point across, but “treating a woman right” can only be said so many times before it actually starts to come across as disingenuous. I love that you talk about the fact that you love life and mention some of the things you like to do. Specifically, I would delete the last line of the second paragraph as well as the third paragraph. Less is more in this case.

“MY LIFE AND AMBITIONS” should be a bit more detailed in the fact that you are still studying. So perhaps add: “My goal is to graduate with a degree in … and then find a well-paying job in a career path I am passionate about all the while having a loving woman and family by my side.” This way, finding a job doesn’t sound like you’re unemployed but rather still in school, which is the truth.

I’ll be very blunt with you, “MY IDEAL RELATIONSHIP” is cheesy. I know that you are a romantic guy and that you are just being yourself and trying to express your sweet side, but it’s just not coming across the way you might think in this answer. You’ve already been very clear about how you respect women and treat them as such. You need to find a way to explain yourself in a less expected way. Here’s an idea: “My perfect relationship  is one in which we laugh a lot and, when we fight (because all couples fight at some point), we go back to laughing as soon as possible. I’m an affectionate guy and want a woman who shares that characteristic and whose hand I’ll still be holding when we’re old and wrinkled.” See how that got your statement across in a more genuine way?

DETAILS
I would delete the following: your weight (being honest in your “body style” is enough of an answer) and annual income (you are in college and say so, that’s plenty explanation as to the fact that you probably have an income lower than that of a typical person with a college degree working a full-time job). I would edit the following: age range should only be a minimum of 21 since you are in your mid-twenties and you should tighten the reigns on other items in “IDEAL MATCH” as it seems as though you selected everything under marital status/religion/education/smoking/drinking. I know you want to see who is out there and to spread as wide a net as possible, but are you honestly ready to marry a widowed, Hassidic, smoker who frequently drinks and only has an elementary level education? Doubtful.

Finally, double check your paragraphs as I saw a few typos here and there (a misuse of a semi-colon under “I’M LOOKING FOR…” and a lack of end-quotes under “YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY MESSAGE ME IF YOU…” both of which are quite distracting. Other than that, I think with the changes you will see things start to happen!

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Steve.”

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Hi Steve,

PROFILE NAME
Alright, alright, your profile name (ie. your name with a little added attitude) is smart and yes, a little cocky in a funny way. Women do like confidence and your profile name exudes that confidence by exposing your humorous side. Continue the funnies in your paragraphs as the initial thrill of your profile name kind of dissipates as one reads your words.

PHOTOS
Great photos! Shows you’re well-rounded, well-travelled, active and fun. Only possible addition I would suggest is one with grandparents or nieces and nephews to also show your family side.

IN MY OWN WORDS
To continue what I was saying above, your profile name sets a standard of expected attitude — that being fun and witty — and I strongly suggest continuing that style throughout your paragraphs. You do so in MY PERFECT FIRST DATE and THE THINGS I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT but ABOUT ME needs some of that humor too. You mention many exotic locales in THE COOLEST PLACES I’VE VISITED but you also call yourself “down-to-earth” in ABOUT ME so therefore you need to explain more about why traveling is important to you or how you’ve managed to visit such awesome places so women can connect to you better. Also, talk about your family and where you grew up and how you got to where you live now. Prospective dates need to feel a kinship with you.

DETAILS
A few notes here: answer the SMOKING question — people care if you’re a smoker or not — and adjust your AGE RANGE from 20-30 to 21-33 — a 20-year-old, although 10 years younger than you which is my normal preferred range is not appropriate for a 30-year-old, she can’t even go to a bar with you! I really prefer 23-33 for you, but a wider age range is better than a wrong one. Because of all the traveling you’ve done and the established career you have, I believe you would connect to a woman a few years older than you.

Finally, I know residents in Toronto and possibly even in Ontario will know where you live and where you grew up, but you may want to try a bit broader and actually put Toronto as where you live and then be more specific in ABOUT ME, as that will attract more women and then allow you to pare down your preferences from there.