As the girls and I were sunbathing in Sheeps Meadow this past weekend in Central Park (with thousands of other folks “you may know” on facebook) a friend relayed a story of a guy who approached her at a party and asked, “Do girls like good or bad boys?” Her well-balanced answer: “Girls like interesting good guys.”
For all the single guys who are looking for a commitment, trust me, good guys do finish first. Admittedly, in my twenties, my standard response was I’m looking for a guy “with edge.” My mom continuously asked me what this “edge” actually meant? Looking back, “edge” equated to my lack of knowledge and self awareness of what I needed in a life partner in my twenties. There comes a time, usually in a lady’s thirties where “edge” is trumped by the desire to find a superhero aka a “good egg.” And, although bad boys may be fun for that Vegas vacation story, they are not usually the keepers.
Like Marvel or DC, I’m convinced Good traditionally trumps Evil and the “good guy” IS the hot commodity.
I don’t like aging myself. Who does really? Once in awhile you have to, and I guess this blog entry will do just that. It dawned on me the other night when I began to text message rather than pick up the phone that I have come into the modern age. When I was a teenager, I called. I had to gather the courage to dial a phone and speak. There was no texting, twittering, instant messaging, or e-mailing. I didn’t change my Facebook status every time the mood struck. If I wanted to know what was happening or how someone was, I picked up the phone, dialed, and had a live conversation with that person. Fast forward to today and there are countless means of communication with the outside world. How does this translate into today’s dating arena?
What is the protocol for dating and these modern modes of communication? Can you break up with someone via text messaging? Can you profess your love through an e-mail? Can you begin a relationship by declaring it on Facebook? Let’s face it; we are on JDate and meeting people in ways we would have never thought to be possible a few years back. It is a fantastic way to broaden our dating pools, but does this mean we are damned to communicate electronically once we have met someone that we are interested in dating?
My gut tells me no. Electronically communicating is a great first step, but once you begin to make plans to meet, communication ought to be continued over the phone. Electronic communication leaves a vitally important facet out-the voice nuances of the person you are speaking to that come through only with a live conversation. It also tells me that the person is willing to spend the time having a conversation. Emailing or any other electronic means of communication can be interrupted and/or prolonged. This idea might seem old-fashioned to some, but it really does help to curb misinterpretations and miscommunication; not to mention, messages/emails that are never received because they are stuck somewhere in cyber-space.
Keep the text messaging, emailing, and instant messaging short and sweet. Getting to know someone takes work and the more authentically this can be achieved, the better the chance is for a true relationship to follow.