Bringing a date around babies is a great test to see what kind of instinct they have. Bringing a date around pets is another good way. If your date doesn’t want to hold the baby or pet the animal, then you’ll need to question why. That is, if you want to have babies or pets in your future (if you don’t then it’s a perfect match!). But most people are looking for a family of some kind in their future, and finding someone with a natural instinct and comfort around babies and animals is important. So once you get to the point of having to decide whether you want to get serious with someone, take them around your friends who are already settled down and see what their vibe is in a house with 2 kids and a dog.

The other day I was talking to a guy who went on an amazing date with a woman he met online.  She was beautiful, funny, and perfect all around.

To make a long story short, his date informs him that she is extremely close with her family.

She texts and calls her mom a few times every time they are together.  As time goes on, this goes from a little quirk, to just plain annoying.  It’s one thing being close with family, but to deal with this multiple times every few hours adds up.

And while he does not want to hurt her feelings, he wonders if this should be addressed.  When is enough ENOUGH?!

Is he wrong, or is too much family love a problem?

I had developed an amazing online relationship with a wonderful girl on JDate.  We lived far from each other, though, so I knew that the relationship’s growth was futile.  Still, we had a great time talking to each other.  We shared relatively intimate things with each other online and soon decided to swap phone numbers.  Now, things got real.  I was texting and talking to a real person as opposed to another username on JDate.  It was pretty exciting.  I often told her tidbits of information that I would have never shared with her in an online conversation.  She now not only knew basic information about me but she knew my social security number, the pin number to my debit card, my email password, and my greatest fear.  Okay, she knew none of that, but she did know other information that couldn’t lead to identity fraud.

One day, I decided to take it a step further.  I asked what she was doing via text message.  She said she was studying for a test.  I thought that was odd because I knew she wasn’t in school.  I went with it, though.  ”Oh, okay,” I said. “Anything I can do to help?”  ”Who is this?” she asked.  ”It’s me, Jeremy.”  ”Jeremy, you know this is Meaghan, right?”  ”Of course I know that.”  ”This is Meaghan, your cousin.”  Whoa, we were cousins?  Why didn’t she tell me this pertinent information earlier in our phone relationship?  Also, interestingly enough, I remembered that I actually had a cousin named Meaghan.  Oh no.

Though I changed her name in this post to save myself from further humiliation, I believe that cell phones, especially ones that look and feel very technologically advanced, should include an important feature.  This feature should allow users to be unable to save two different phone numbers under the same name.  Though my story is sort of a worst-case scenario, this feature would be exceptionally helpful in preventing confusion about a person you are interested in dating and a person whose mother is your mother’s sister.

While many singles take the major holidays as an opportunity to feel sorry for themselves, I take them as an opportunity to see my favorite people, and eat delicious food. Thanksgiving this year was a chance for my family, and my brother’s girlfriend’s family to spend some much needed quality time. The pair met in the traditional setting of higher education, far off from both homes, and after eight years of being together, many members of the two respective nuclear families had never met. I was thankful for the chance to get to know the people behind the love of my brother’s life. The good news is that everyone, excluding our dogs, got along without biting, and it was all smiles, all weekend long.

I am very close with my family so what goes on in my personal life, including whom I’m dating, is considered an open forum for questions and conversation. However, since online dating can be a very fluid situation where you go out on several dates in a short period of time, I don’t necessarily feel a need to tell my family, or even my friends for that matter, every time I go out on a first date. In fact, I generally won’t mention that I am seeing someone to my family or friends until we have gone out on a few dates and I actually have something meaningful to tell people.

My rationale behind this approach is: Only when I finally meet someone I’m interested in seeing more frequently will everyone in my close circle of friends and family know about her. Unfortunately, this methodology doesn’t really fly with my family, especially my mom and sister. Before my sister met her current, serious boyfriend she went out on several dates with guys she met on JDate, and after each date she would give my mom the details about the guy and date.

As a result of how openly my mom and sister talked about her JDating® experience they both have taken that same approach with me. Recently, I told my mom about a woman that I was seeing since we had gone out several times and it was going well; however, before I had the chance to tell my sister about her, my mom did. As a result, the next time my sister and I were on the phone she grilled me about my new quasi-relationship and made me vow to give her the news, and details, before she heard them from my mom.

Even though it may seem strange to some people that I would talk to my mom and sister about who I’m dating I honestly don’t care because we are close and I don’t mind sharing aspects of my dating life with them. Therefore, after this recent situation where I ended up being scolded by my sister because she had to hear about my dating news from my mom, we’ve reached a compromise where I still won’t tell them the details about every date I go on, but will make sure to keep both of them in the loop and up to date about what’s going on in my dating life so they don’t have to heard it from the other.

The oppressive heat has finally broken and the end of summer is on the horizon. As we retrieve light cardigans out of the back of our closets, a new oppression afflicts us. What the cooling temperatures should mean to you and your neuroses, if they don’t already, is an apprehension about ringing in the New Year alone. Binging on honey-soaked apples without a human honey, you are asked to consider your chances of surviving the year. Contemplating the creation of the universe, you will be confronted with your own failure thus far to create a family. Many of you will suffer the Day-of-Judgment in the company of families who judge. Then, there is no respite after the feast, for now you face 10 days of a nagging desire to have a romantic partner to fight bitterly with and subsequently apologize to. Hungry for more than food on Yom Kippur, you will have no one’s hand to squeeze during your rabbi’s most poignant sermon of the year, the one he would hope to win an Oscar for, if rabbis won Oscars. But please don’t despair, it is only August. You still have over three weeks to let JDate help you find a special someone to share this with. May the High Holy Days turn your dating life around, and let us say, Amen.

This weekend I saw my cousin and her husband who met on JDate. They got engaged after a relatively brief courtship. “I know this sounds bad but we were both ready for all this and knew it,” Jeff said, gesturing toward his daughters, “and it happened pretty fast for both of us.” It’s not exactly like a fairy tale, but there’s no shame in sharing a mutual vision and turning it into reality via a clear and honest statement. He went on to say that, “after a certain amount of experience you can weed out what you want and don’t want.” He should know. While living in Lubbock, TX, he would feign previously scheduled travel plans and arrange JDates with girls in Dallas, a 45-minute flight. Hopefully he got some frequent flier miles out of all that travel because despite the haul, none of the girls worked out. After moving to Chicago he met my cousin, and “that was that.” Now there are two JBabies, ages three and five who can thank JDate for their existences. I imagine there are many babies out there who can do likewise. L’Chaim.

Another year passes with the start of the holiday season.  Nothing is better than the holiday spirit in NYC! Sure, did I think I’d be celebrating with my apparently LOST spouse and kids, hell yeah, but such is life and fate with its mysterious twists and turns. Fortunately, I’ll be spending it with my wonderful family, which always involves much laughter, thankfully some catering, and a great celebration with friends and family. During what has been an extraordinarily difficult time for many people this year, I am grateful for all my blessings and hope much joy, peace and easier times ahead for those affected by 2009.

Happy Thanksgiving!