under Date Night
I am not receiving any interest from men on JDate. I sent out 8 e-cards and not one response. My friend suggested that I change my age on the website and perhaps men would be less reluctant to reach out to me. I am determined to leave my correct age because I wouldn’t want to meet someone that opposed to my age without knowing me. I am pretty, bright, own a business, and happy with my life. What gives?
Dear What Gives,
I agree with your friend about keeping your true age on your profile. You would be better off having your friend critique your photos and profile answers or sending me your profile name for me to give you an Extreme Profile Makeover. In the meantime, make sure you talk about being “young at heart” or “looking and feeling younger than [your] age” in your profile to combat the age issue and concern about reluctance from men.
Then, try some other techniques instead of relying on e-cards. Make sure you are viewing your prospects regularly so that they know you are interested, add them to your Favorites list, and then possibly initiate an email conversation. Again, you may not get a response but it may not be personal — it could be that the person is not a paid member and can’t read their messages. The only way to combat this is by playing the numbers game, meaning the more prospects you have the better the chance you will receive emails and responses.
Hi Ms. Caspi,
I am new to this online dating scenario, but I am willing and excited to try. Question: can a guy hit the flirt button too often???!!! Can I pay you a compliment? You Are A Supernova!
First of all, thank you for the compliment! Now on to your JDate question: can you “Flirt” too much? Yes and no… you can’t click “Flirt” more than 30 times a day and you can’t send a Flirt to someone more than once. Additionally, you can only see your Flirts (as well as other emails) if you are a paid subscriber since they go to your inbox. The key is to try and find the Flirt message that either most sounds like it would come from you and your personality or one which matches what you think the person you’re sending the Flirt to would want to receive. You can see that someone Flirted with you via the heart/smiley face icon but you won’t be able to read which exact one was chosen for you (although knowing the person sent you the Flirt is usually more important than the actual content). If you max out on Flirts in one day, then yes, you’re sending too many. Use Secret Admirer which is totally anonymous until the other person also says Yes or use Favorites to let someone know they are on your radar.
The start of a week with what is most likely amazing weather outside your office window while you’re stuck inside until late afternoon each day is enough to put a damper on anyone’s mood. Try to change the odds in your favor by booking at least one date this week. By having something to look forward to, you will perk up and while the week may feel like it’s draggin at first it will seem to have flown by in retrospect. While you’re at it, book a second date. One during the week and one on the weekend. How?, you ask? Use the Secret Admirer feature to let prospects know you’re interested and Favorite them and send them a Flirt. Men who see these clear hints a woman is interested should write an email. Women who notice a man repeatedly viewing her profile can also send an email. JDate works best when you’re actively using the tools they provide so stop browsing and start clicking!
under Online Dating
I seem to have been Favorited by 15 different girls yet few if any of them actually reach out to me. It’s only when I reach out to them that I get a response and even then, there are some that have just NEVER responded. What is the deal with this? What’s the reason? I just don’t get it. Can you shed some light?! Thanks.
Hi JDate Favorite,
Girls want a guy to make the first move, that’s why they Favorite you — it’s their way of winking, twirling their hair around their finger and smiling at you from across the room. And just like when you approach those women, not all are going to end up being into you. But it can’t hurt to give it a shot right? You know the women who Favorite you are already interested, so figure out if you’re attracted to them and why and then tell them that. Don’t worry about the ones who don’t respond, it’s normal. Play the odds… 15 Favorites are a lot… you are attracted and write to 10 of them… 5 write you back… that’s 1/3 of the women which is pretty awesome! Enjoy basking in the glow of having so many women Favorite you!