How to Tell the Beaus from the Shmos

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Relationships,Single Life

It’s so easy to come off as the “perfect” prospect online, and on the phone, and even during the first few months of dating. This is when people are on their best behavior, they are charming, they only reveal the best parts of themselves. Well, that’s how it usually works. I’ve been hearing story after story of people showing their true colors on a first date.

From the guy who admitted to having a foot fetish while staring and salivating over his date’s feet five minutes after sitting down for dinner, to the guy who invited a woman over after a nice dinner only to have her find his bed covered with dozens of stuffed animals and him asking her if she liked “furries” (I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried), to the gal who used the ingredients in her side salad to begin precociously exchanging sex stories with her date over entrees as he sat stunned.

In these instances it was easy to bid adieu to these shmos, but most times people hide their vices better… and for longer. Hopefully your dates’ vices are no more than just being mildly OCD or quoting Friends and Seinfeld every other sentence. Beaus do exist, but no one is perfect — just know there will always be something you don’t like about everyone.


Is Idyllic Ideal?

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Relationships,Single Life

We all have a vision of how we want love to look, unfortunately fantasy and reality rarely measure up. If you think everything will click together beautifully when you meet “The One,” and that you will never fight, and you will have sex every other day, and you will like each other’s families and friends, and you will love the other person every second of every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of your lives… then you will be in for major disappointment.

True love does exist, but that does not mean that it will be easy. In fact, life will probably become more confusing, difficult and crazier because now you are thinking of another person in addition to yourself… and you will possibly (or eventually) be adding even more people into that equation when children enter the picture.

Don’t get stuck on an idea of what love should look like; chances are it will look nothing like that when it happens, but you need to be open to love in any form. If you’re waiting for love to fit into a box that you’ve created based on your vision of ideal love, then be prepared to be alone for a long time.