under Date Night
When you’re planning a first date the biggest question is whether or not to commit to a meal versus just meeting for drinks. Well, I have the perfect solution! Make plans to meet at a restaurant that has a bar… and make reservations for dinner at that restaurant about an hour after you are to meet. If there is chemistry and conversation during the drink portion and you’re interested in getting to know your date more, then go ahead and follow the hostess to your table. If you don’t want to continue the date, then thank your date for his or her time and leave.
That said: you must check-in with the hostess ahead of time and let the restaurant know that the reservation is contingent upon the date going well and that you may end up canceling. Arrange a gesture or look that you will give the hostess if you want them to come and get you when it’s time, or not. (Or you can also walk-in without a reservation and if you are enjoying your time at the bar then go over to the hostess stand to ask for a table. If the wait is too long and you still want to stay, then order food to the bar.)
It may sound like a big hassle, but it solves a lot of issues about how to plan a date when you aren’t sure if you’re going to like the other person. You want options and you want to eliminate awkwardness. If you’re unsure when the time comes to go to your table, then take the plunge and sit down for dinner — sometimes people have nerves and the transition to the next stage of the date should help.
under Date Night
I always see articles on the internet that try to teach people about the perfect place to take someone on a first date. All the ideas I come across are very lavish, over the top, and truly a waste of time when you are meeting someone you know very little about – for the very first time.
- Do: It’s easiest to do something simple on your first date. I always recommend coffee or a drink. Something that allows the two of you to sit down and get to know each other for a little while. When there’s too much background noise or a crowd gets in your way, it becomes hard to truly get to know the person.
- Don’t: Do not go to noisy places. Save the movies for a future date. Go somewhere that’s close for you and them – no one is eager to travel a long distance to meet someone for the first time. Try to choose a place that’s convenient for both of you. You also want to select a time that is not too late at night in order to be considerate about the plans (whether it’s work or something else) that they have going on the next day. Try to make your first meeting a little after dinner time – especially if you are not planning to eat on your date.
Follow Jen here: @tthingsilearned
under Date Night
Does it matter where you go on a first date? Will you judge someone negatively for choosing an inexpensive restaurant, or will you think more highly of someone for choosing a pricey restaurant? The cost of the food shouldn’t matter, but rather the quality of the restaurant (plus the initiative your date took in choosing the restaurant) and the originality of the venue.
I love The Cheesecake Factory as much as the next person, but it’s not where I’d want to go on a first date. A fabulous hole-in-the-wall sushi spot is awesome, even if the bill ends up being under $50. And just because a guy takes you to an expensive restaurant on your first date does not mean that’s the type of dates you will always go on.
First dates are an opportunity to impress you, so people tend to pull out all the stops. Don’t be upset when the dates don’t continue to be so fancy… it’s not the cost that matters, but the quality of the person you’re sitting across from.