Don’t let the heatwave turn you into a melting, lazy mess. When it’s hot, people want to stay inside with the air conditioning cranked up and although they are online they’d rather not expend the energy to get ready and venture outside. Men find that their clothes become damp with sweat before getting out of the house and women’s make-up runs as soon as it’s applied. If you wear shorts or a skirt then your thighs end up sticking to your seat and all you want to do is chug cup after cup of ice water.
Still, don’t let the heat keep you from meeting your potential mate. Make sure you go somewhere with air conditioning and cool, refreshing foods. Poke fun at the fact that you’re both melting and don’t overthink the prep. If you like each other with your hair matted with sweat to your head or frizzed out from humidity or with sweat circles under your arms or eyeliner running down your face, then you know you’re liking each other for you and not for your appearance.
under Online Dating
So you’ve been messaging back and forth with that cute punum the past week and you finally set up a date. Maybe you even had a phone call beforehand and got to know each other. The date is set and the place is picked. To help ensure you make it a successful date, I’ve made a list of three essential steps to take:
Don’t go into this thinking he/she will be your future husband or wife. Take it slow. A lot of people get super excited about dates and think “this may be ‘The One.’” If you go into a date with that mindset, then you will set yourself up to lose. Instead, think about this date as another experience you get to have with an interesting person. Heck, you already qualified them for what you’re looking for. Now, enjoy the time together and don’t rush it.
2) Dress The Part
This advice is mostly for the guys here. Dress up! This is a date. Think Friday Night Services. You want to impress your date and look good, right? Put on a decent collared shirt (make sure it fits) and a nice pair of shoes. Women give extra special bonus points to the guys who know how to dress. Girls, I’m sure you got this part handled.
3) Bring the Energy!
Yes, I said to relax, so this might seem a little contradictory. But, dates are about fun! If you aren’t eager to be there, then you will put your date off. Ask them intriguing questions. Tell them your funniest stories (don’t get too crazy). And have fun. When you enjoy the moment, the people around you will enjoy it too. It’s never enough to just show up. Bring your A-game.
Those are the most important tips to having a successful date #1. Follow these three tips and you will be on your way to a successful date #2. That is what you want, isn’t it?
Read more from Tripp here.
You know when you start off the day feeling great, and then someone rains on your parade, and instead of brushing it off and putting a smile on your face and continuing on with your day you let the nastiness bleed into your entire day and domino effect until the date you were excited about is suddenly not looking too promising anymore.
Aside from the fact that you let someone or something ruin your entire day, you are now about to let that same negativity affect your first interaction with a stranger whom you are interested in romantically. Does it feel good to sometimes take your stress out on the nameless, faceless customer service representative on the phone whom you will never meet nor speak to again? Sure. It’s wrong, but sure, it feels good for that instant. This date doesn’t have to be an instant though. Don’t let your ugly attitude stop there from being a second date.
You have to put things into perspective. Are you going to allow one bad run-in ruin what could be your first date… and last? You have got to shake off any negativity before you enter into a date. Adjust your attitude. Since you hope to spend your life being happy, then why not exude the happiness you want in your life while on a date. You don’t want to spend a first date bonding over the bad. Just because it’s still a form of bonding doesn’t mean you can build a relationship on it.
The act of smiling sends positive signals to your brain that you’re happy and can change your attitude. Doing some yoga breathing, taking a shower, having a tough workout, or venting to your best friend are all things you can do prior to a date so that you aren’t bringing the bad attitude with you.
A recent story about a one night stand which spilled into Boston’s recent citywide lockdown and prevented an early morning walk of shame made me think about hooking up on the first date. After you’ve taken the time (and money) to sign up for JDate and complete your profile, then connect with someone and plan a first date, you have to decide what to do when you hit it off so much that you kinda, well, wanna hook-up. Should you?
It’s quite the predicament when you have awesome chemistry but are just on the first date and want to have a second date but, on one hand, are not sure if hooking up will forfeit your chances for a second date or, on the other hand, if not hooking up will forfeit your chances for a second date. There’s no right answer.
But there are signs to look for to make sure that the chemistry isn’t faked by your date just to hook-up: is your date agreeing with everything you say and has he been very affectionate from the beginning of the date even before you really knew how you felt? If your date is offering lots of compliments and yet still making you feel as though if you don’t hook up with him (or her, girls got game too!) then you won’t get a second date? If you are ever made to feel like a second date hinges upon a hook-up then that’s your sign to bail.
If the date feels very genuine then go ahead and follow your instincts but I strongly advise to keep the hook-up PG-13 lest you end up coming across as someone lesser than who you’ve said you are. Is a make-out session warranted when you really like someone? Sure. But keep your clothes on and respect your date by leaving their clothes on.
Everyone is going to get burned at some point by this predicament. If you choose not to hook-up because you like the person so much that you don’t want to ruin it that you therefore send the wrong signals. Or you hook-up thinking it’s going to lead to a second date and never hear from the prospect again. Or hooking up and letting it go too far that you end up being a one night stand. These are unfortunate parts of dating, but don’t take it personally just learn from it and try to read the signs next time so you can better trust your instincts.
under Date Night
Does it matter where you go on a first date? Will you judge someone negatively for choosing an inexpensive restaurant, or will you think more highly of someone for choosing a pricey restaurant? The cost of the food shouldn’t matter, but rather the quality of the restaurant (plus the initiative your date took in choosing the restaurant) and the originality of the venue.
I love The Cheesecake Factory as much as the next person, but it’s not where I’d want to go on a first date. A fabulous hole-in-the-wall sushi spot is awesome, even if the bill ends up being under $50. And just because a guy takes you to an expensive restaurant on your first date does not mean that’s the type of dates you will always go on.
First dates are an opportunity to impress you, so people tend to pull out all the stops. Don’t be upset when the dates don’t continue to be so fancy… it’s not the cost that matters, but the quality of the person you’re sitting across from.
What’s your flirting technique? Do you throw yourself all over your date? Do you sit on his lap? Do you run your hands up her thighs? Do you make sexual innuendos? And do you end up getting taken seriously in your quest for a relationship or do your prospects assume you are just a good time? Your behavior and body language speaks volumes about you. If you want respect then show self-respect. Once you’re in a relationship you’ll have plenty of time to explore the chemistry and have fun flirting. There’s a time and a place for everything, the first date isn’t the place for coming on too strong. Let your interest be known in other ways.
You are on a great date with a great guy… he arrives bearing what is obviously a very expensive bouquet of flowers and takes you to an incredibly nice restaurant where he orders a pricey bottle of wine and encourages you to order a four course meal along with him. After paying for what can only be suspected as being a bill far into the triple digits, he takes you home and proceeds to kiss you good night. It was a perfect date. So why do you feel so cheap?
Is it because you’re a successful woman with a good career who has no problem paying for her own dinner or is it because you feel like you should be doing something in return? The man is probably — hopefully — considering it money well spent if it means another date with you and leading towards something more. If he wasn’t into you then the date would have consisted of the flowers (since he bought them and brought them before getting to know you) and a one course meal and no wine. If a man is trying to prolong the end of the date and is willing to shell out for it, then you shouldn’t feel cheap unless you didn’t like him from the get-go but allowed him to spend the big bucks anyway.
You have a hot new date sitting in the passenger seat next to you and a car nearly hits you as it cuts you off exiting the freeway. Or you’re sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic with your date while the clock ticks down on the curtain call for the expensive tickets you bought to the hottest show in town. The waiter at the fancy-shmancy expensive restaurant repeatedly brings you the wrong order, ignores you and forgets about you. There are many, many more examples of common ways that dates can go wrong, but it’s how you handle it that matters. You can lose your temper and scream at the other driver or get frustrated and start driving erratically or snap at an overworked waiter but none of these reactions will change the situation or make you feel better. Worse, they will ruin your date. Patience truly is a virtue in these circumstances because it is a character trait which is appreciated throughout all facets of life. And possibly even more important is kindness. Showing consideration by remarking that the other driver must be in a hurry and Thank Goodness you weren’t hit or that you hope the traffic isn’t caused by some terrible accident or that the waiter must be stressed and that you’re grateful the date is going so well that you’re not in any hurry to get your food are all great ways to handle these situations and shows you have grace under fire.
What NOT to do after you’ve met someone you really like:
1. Add them on Facebook and proceed to read every single post and dissect every single photo and read through the names of every single friend and then refer to things in the profile that you only know because of Facebook (most people do this, admit it)!
2. Send spies to their workplace (more people than one would think actually do this, especially when the person works in the service industry).
3. Sneak into their apartment and makeover the entire bedroom and bathroom in your favorite colors (true story).
4. Reroute your entire daily commute in order to possibly run into him or her (another one you can all admit to doing).
5. Hang out at their favorite coffee shop all day waiting for them to come in for their daily latte (just ‘fess up here people!).
So here’s my take: When you get excited about someone new, it’s normal to want to intersect your lives. And, doing one of the above is not such a huge thing, but doing all of them is definitely an indication that you have entered stalker-dom. If you have to call your new beau’s roommate to gain access to the apartment — and if you find yourself filling up on gas more than usual because of all the out-of-the-way-driving you’re doing — and if you are hiding some of your friends because they pretended to be “customers,” then you are officially a stalker and need to reassess your dating style.
Also, if someone is doing more than one of the above actions to you, then run (and run fast) in the opposite direction! Go on now.
When you’re in a new relationship, there is going to be some fluster and fumble happening along the way as you discover and explore what the other likes. Yes, I’m talking about sex. Not just sex, but kissing, groping, etc. etc. etc. (etc.). Everyone has their preferences – the moves and techniques that turn them on – but none of us are mind-readers.
So rather than rule a prospect out because you don’t like their technique, take action. That is, take the initiative to ask him or her what they like… slow or fast, gentle or rough… and the hope is that your partner will ask you the same question in return. If he or she doesn’t get the hint, take the opportunity to offer your preferences. Just because you had a skill that worked magic on one partner doesn’t mean it will do the same for the next.
And if that doesn’t do the trick, then simply tell your partner to try it the way you like it. Be very obvious in your physical (and verbal) response that you are enjoying yourself. If your partner resorts to their old tricks, then tell them that you really liked it when they did it the other way, therefore making it their idea. And keep repeating this tactic until your partner begins to do it (what IT may be) the way you prefer it without prompting.