under Date Night
I don’t know about you, but I easily went on 100 first dates and only a handful of second dates. That meant that I was excited and nervous prior to a second date, because they happened so seldom! As I approached my date, I wondered… what is the appropriate greeting here? Just smile? Hug? Kiss? Luckily, there is a pretty simple answer.
As you walk up to your date you should do whatever it is you did to end your first date, plus a little extra. What does that mean?
- If you left by standing and smiling and waving, then keep that smile going but add in a little hug
- If you left with a hug, then hug again but add a kiss on the cheek or hug a bit longer and include a squeeze
- If you left with a kiss, then kiss again and allow the kiss to linger just a bit longer
- If you left with MORE than a kiss, then definitely kiss again to start this date
You both know that it wasn’t easy getting to a second date with someone — you liked the first date, you’re interested in learning more, and there’s attraction — so you want the other person to know that you’re excited without coming on too strong. You also still don’t really know this person and are understandably anxious for it to go well, by being prepared with how you’re going to greet each other then you will be able to get past the first hurdle quickly and move on the date with ease.
under Date Night
After a first date what is the appropriate follow-up?
- If the date went well and the man paid, then the woman should call the next day to thank him for a nice evening. Don’t linger on the phone though, steer the conversation towards when you will speak again or when you will see each other again. A text can sometimes be okay here if you know he has a busy morning; just make sure that it has a flirty tone so he knows that you aren’t blowing him off.
- If the date did not go well and the man paid then the woman should text the man a thank you. Keep it simple and short. Make sure it’s not flirty so that you don’t lead him on.
- If the date did not go well and you split the check, then you don’t necessarily owe your date a thank you… but it’s good karma to say thank you and wish the other luck.
- If your date did go well and you split the check, then you should absolutely follow-up the next day with a call to let your date know you want another date
- If the date went well and you are the man who paid, but you didn’t hear from the woman, then don’t write her off just yet. Don’t assume it means she wasn’t grateful or doesn’t want to see you again. Call her and see where that leads.
All in all, if you want another date with this person, then how can it hurt to call — or even text — the next day? Do it. Pick up the phone and call.
under Date Night
I was out the other night with a friend who was telling me she almost said “no” to a second date with her now long-term boyfriend. In fact, she did say no… and then said no again… but eventually his persistence wore off on her and she went out with him again. She told me how scary it is how we think we know someone after just one date, when we really know very little about them.
So here’s my advice:
- Do: If you are on a first date and there’s nothing going terribly wrong, be open to the idea of a second date. People often get so nervous on a first date that they don’t display their full personality, or even have the chance to really open up and share the details that make them who they are.
- Don’t: If the first date is really terrible and there are some fundamental differences between the two of you that you don’t think you can get past, it’s okay to not give that person a second chance. There’s no reason to go out with them again if you are going to feel uncomfortable.
Connect with Jen on Twitter: @tthingsilearned