Love at First JDate: Picking up the tab

by JenG under JDate,Single Life

I have gone broke from a first date more than once. Somehow, going on a date just extracts the paper bills from the inside of my pleather wallet without me realizing what’s happening. Once, a few months ago, going on a date even forced me to overdraw my bank account. Talking about who should pay for a first date should be on the list of topics for the next presidential debate (just kidding), as it warrants much emotion, opinions and even deal-breaking decisions by those who have rules and guidelines tattooed in their minds.

Here’s my breakdown on the payment plan for a first date—this one is targeted to the girls:

  • Do: Always offer to contribute on the first date. You both mutually decided to go out and “meet” each other on this awkward rendezvous and it’s only right you offer to shell out the cash for your half of the meal, or your gulp of a full glass of Pinot. You can follow your own rules on dates two through infinity. However, you should use your manners and offer to pay on the first round.
  • Don’t: Turn your shoulder on a first date who makes you pay. Yes, it’s lovely to be wined and dined on occasion, but it’s best to consider a first date with someone as a friendly meeting. A “let’s get to know each other—on a surface level and go from there” kind of thing. Don’t be upset or feel as though you’ve been stiffed.

Read more of Jen Glantz here.


There is no “end” in Courtship

by Adam under JBloggers,JDate,Online Dating

Did anyone see the New York Times article on the end of courtship? It was thought-provoking, with way too many shares between females showing up on my Facebook page.

With the high amount of “Girls” references, and the myriad of examples on guys missing dates, or bouncers hooking up with girls over whiskey and boxed macaroni and cheese, the article seemed slanted against males. Girls were quoted as saying “guys don’t want to date, courtship is dead,” etc.

While “courtship” in its true 1950’s-esque definition means it is 100% on the guy to call the girl up, take her out, buy her flowers, and almost control the relationship, courtship in the millennial sense is entirely different. As I alluded to in my previous article about casual sex, we live in a time of convenience, and a time where 20 and 30-something females are on basically the same footing as males in terms of getting careers on track. It is not the era of “at 22 women will be bound to the house, studying up on Betty Crocker Recipes, and preparing themselves to be baby makers”. For the record, I don’t think my mother ever made a Betty Crocker recipe.

It’s not the end of courtship, it’s a change in courtship. I’m one who would rather call a girl to ask her out than text her. However, the problem lies when she doesn’t CALL back, but rather texts… saying that texting is easier for her. So, she really has no right to complain after setting that precedent early on in the dating cycle.

In terms of the Jewish world, Jewish young adults have a tendency to get married at a much older age than their other U.S. young adult counterparts. The marriage age has also increased from 21 and 23 during the 1970’s for Jewish brides and grooms, to 27 and 29 in 2010. Jewish young adults also have a tendency to be more career-focused than their other American young adult brethren, and millennial young adults in general have a tendency to be more transient than in generations past.

Given those facts and conclusions stated above, it is only natural that dating has undergone a change too. Courtship is still alive, but if you think you’re going to get a serious relationship out of a hook-up complete with whiskey and boxed macaroni and cheese, well, you’ve got a wide other set of problems.


Hollywood Yenta Roundup: Mila Kunis, Ian Ziering and Lena Dunham…

by JDateAdministrator under Entertainment,Judaism,News

1. Mila the MILF?

Even the “Sexiest Woman Alive” puts on a few extra pounds from time to time.

When Jewish movie star Mila Kunis stepped out for coffee in Los Angeles with her boyfriend Ashton Kutcher recently, gossip columns around the web started posting rumors claiming the That ’70s Show co-stars are expecting a baby. However, Kunis’ rep denies the A-lister is pregnant.

RadarOnline.com jumped on the pregnancy bandwagon first, writing that “the pint-sized star was snapped on Saturday sporting what looked like a decidedly rounder midriff.” Click here to see the picture inspiring all the chatter – and to see if you agree with the baby bump buzz.

 

2. It’s Baby Time for Ian Ziering

People.com is reporting Ian Ziering and his wife Erin are pregnant for the second time. The magazine reports baby number two will be here this May.

“I feel blessed, having a family is something that I’ve always wanted,” the Jewish actor tells the magazine. “Having a second child is the realization of a dream come true.”

Ziering, who is 48, is already the proud daddy of a little 18-month-old Mia Loren.

 

3. Lena Dunham Loses Her V-Card (As in Voting)

Lena Dunham, the creator and star of HBO’s hit series Girls, stars in a new political ad for Barack Obama that, metaphorically speaking, compares voting for Obama to losing one’s virginity.

The new ad features Dunham, whose mother is Jewish, talking directly to the camera and saying, “Your first time shouldn’t be with just anybody. You want to do it with a great guy…someone who really cares about and understands women.”

The ad has been heavily criticized by conservatives who say “the only honest bit of innuendo in the ad is that the people who voted for Barack Obama in 2008 have been screwed — economically.” Watch the ad for yourself here and tell use what you think!


Drive Me Off A Cliff

by JeremySpoke under Single Life

Coming off of my well-deserved rock-star high, I got into my car in the IHOP parking lot with the woman whom I will refer to as ‘Caroline’ so as not to disrupt what I imagine are her delicate senses.  She asked where I wanted to go, and if I had known that that was a sign that she would have literally gone anywhere with me that night, then I never would have made the mistake of saying ‘home’ and dropping her off at her house …six years before my next moment with a girl would come with a woman I will call ‘Kelsie’.

So I’m standing inside my apartment with ‘Kelsie’ as she hugs me and tells me that I’m easily the best looking guy on the photo staff, though I know there are three gorgeous contenders that easily rank above me.  There was that moment again.  I could take her anywhere, and I had taught myself that if, that moment ever came again, I wouldn’t drive her home to her new life with ‘Eliot’.  I would drive her six years forward to my future with our child on the way.  ”I’m doing this for Carly!” (our child) I yell at her face, while I kiss her, marry her, and impregnate her in the same motion.

I treated ‘Kelsie’ the same way I treated ‘Caroline’.'  I hugged her and let her go.  Luckily for ‘Caroline,’ text messaging hadn’t been created yet, so there was no way I could try to reignite the spark four years after the fact. Unluckily for “Kelsie,’ text messaging had been created.  If I ever see ‘Kelsie’ again, and the initial awkward phase of me pretending that I never texted her anything passes, I may tell her about our alternative life with our daughter, Carly.  I would not, however, tell her that Ben was actually hotter.

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Girls Dig Older Dudes

by JeremySpoke under Online Dating,Single Life

Girls are intimidating enough as it is; please don’t make age another factor of fear.  I, as well as many male JDaters®, have noticed that women typically are only interested in men of their age or older.  For example, if a woman is 24, then she is normally interested in men ages 24-34.  That is a tough break for all of the 23-year-olds that would have been perfect for her; or the 35-year-olds that have gone through realistic-looking facial plastic surgery and look 34, tops.  It’s also not easy for the 18-year-old men that claim to be mature beyond their years (while maintaining the sensibilities of a rugged 19-year-old).

Many times, I find that I am too young for the prospective woman.  For example, if my father and I have both conversed with the same woman on JDate, it’s time to rethink my strategy.  Conversely, if I end up chatting with a girl my little sister’s age, strategy must again be rethought.

Of the two extremes, I am more often too young.  Women in their thirties know exactly what they want and they can cut you down to your core in a three minute conversation.  For example:

Me: Hi

Woman: You are young.  Of what value do you have to me?

Me: Um

Woman: Goodbye

On the other hand, if I am the older one, I instantly feel creepy.  I feel like I shouldn’t be talking to this person, even though she’s only two years younger than I am.  Here’s how a typical conversation with a younger woman goes down:

Me: Hi

Woman: Hi

Me: Is your dad monitoring this conversation?

Woman: What?

Me: Gotta go

Is there not one 27-year-old woman whom I can chat with so it’s not weird?

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Zombies Know Nothing of Humanity

by JeremySpoke under Single Life

I went out with a couple friends last night (Saturday) for almost Halloween night.  We went to a popular coffee shop, and tried to think of ways to talk to women we knew we would never go through with.  I was leaning towards the, “Nice costume, can I buy you a steak?” approach which was odd because not only is that weird, but also we were nowhere near a venue that had the capacity to serve my lovely lady a fine steak.  Instead, we sat there like morons comparing coffee patrons to celebrities.  We all decided that this one dude looked exactly like famed murderer and person-eater Jeffrey Dahmer.  He looked pretty creepy, and sat by himself.

A few minutes later all of the lights on the patio shut out.  About ten minutes after that, people started running out of the shop yelling that it was on fire.  My quick, reflexive instincts told me to stay where I was and watch.  The fire kept building until we were forced to leave.  We decided to go to a bar.  As a side note, the coffee shop was essentially ruined the next morning.

At the bar, many people were dressed up in elaborate costumes.  It was either almost Halloween or we were at a really progressive place.  I started a conversation with a zombie who I assume was female.  Though undead, she was able to convey her personality through a complex system of grunts and blood-spurting.  It took me a while before I started to think that she may actually be a zombie.  I maintained a conversation but kept a safe distance.  I offered to buy her a drink, but she kindly said “No, thanks.”  Really?  I even strike out with post-apocalyptic daemons.