In any type of situation where we meet people and have an extended interaction with them we are going to learn certain things about them we like and other things we dislike. The first few conversations, dates, etc. might go off without a hitch; however we can’t keep all of our flaws and idiosyncrasies inside forever. Eventually, if you spend enough time with someone, they are going to learn things about you that aren’t necessarily great or flattering, and of course vice versa.
When we first meet someone and get involved with them it is always easy to ignore their warts and focus solely on their positive attributes because of how good it feels when you first start dating a person you are genuinely interested in and have fun with. We’ve all fallen into this trap where we turn a blind eye to the signals that perhaps the other person has flaws we wouldn’t normally let slide or be attracted to; this one time we convince ourselves that the positives outweigh the negatives.
Unfortunately though, the longer we continue to idealize the other person and the budding relationship the more prone we are to getting hurt when they finally do something that completely turns us off. Certainly I am not advocating anyone judge another person without truly having the chance to get to know them first. What I am saying is that, in all people, and relationships, there are good and not so good things about them.When we are getting to know someone I think it’s important we let ourselves see the good along with the bad so we can determine how we feel about the complete person.