Alright, that’s enough, both sides stop it! Stop it right now before someone really gets hurt!
Guys – if you go out with a woman, and don’t want to see her again, then don’t make ANY indications that you are going to call her. Because when you do that, you lead her on, and that leads to the development of expectations and her eventually being let down.
Ladies – if you go out with a guy, and aren’t interested in going out with him again, then just say so. Please don’t say that you want to go out on another date in order to “spare our feelings,” because we all know you really aren’t doing it for us.
You see all this game playing and posturing is nonsense! Utter nonsense!
How old are we?
At 27 I consider myself to be a “big boy,” and think I am quite capable of handling the rejection that results from being turned down by a woman for a date. However, when I do begin to lose my patience, and act like a baby, is when women tell me they had a great time and want to go out again but never return my calls or texts trying to make plans.
I am fully aware that on the other side of this, women experience the same frustrations when it comes to men saying, at the end of the night, that they’ll call them, but never do; which is why I am calling out both sexes in this piece.
So just stop it. Stop all the game playing and rhetoric because that leads to people being led on, which I promise you hurts them more than if you would have just nicely rejected them in the first place.
In this day and age it’s hard not to make a phone call. I accidentally call people all the time when I forget to lock the keypad on my cell phone. Still, I get more e-mails from women asking why men don’t call than any other type of question or complaint. It’s one of the oldest unanswered mysteries of our time: why do guys ask for our phone numbers and then never call? If you’re on JDate then you’re there to meet someone, right? I remember playing the JDate game perfectly — viewing, flirting, IMing, emailing, giving out my number and then… nothing.
Was his conquest complete after getting the digits? Did he suddenly suffer a case of amnesia? Is it possible he dropped his phone into a cup of water while he was hugging someone and lost all his numbers? (This is an actual excuse I got once.) Who really knows? Women are left to ponder the possibilities for endless eternity. Even worse, you went on a great date, had a really nice kiss at the end of the night, he told you he’d call you… and then… silence. Really? Come on guys, call if you say you’re going to call, otherwise don’t say you’re going to call. It’s simple.
One excuse I hear from men is that women like to talk a lot and they don’t want to get stuck talking on the phone forever. Instead, they’d rather text (groan). If you really want to see someone, then take the time and make the effort to place a phone call. It doesn’t have to be a long one. You can even start off the conversation by saying you’re busy but want to make plans to get together. But no, men would rather text “what r u up 2?” Seriously? You’re going to ask someone out via text message? (Again, this happened to me and more often than you’d think.)
A text does not take the place of a phone call. Period. Just pick up the phone and dial!
I know women aren’t innocent here (not even close), but I’ll get into that next week.